Clarence
Clarence is (for now lol) a miserable failure of a show on Cartoon Network that follows some retarded fat fuck and his dumbass friends doing stupid shit and royally fucking up every aspect of their pre-teen lives by doing a variety of dumb activities that most 10-year-olds would never consider, such as sneaking around the zoo at night, reenacting Star Wars in a McDonalds Play Place, or following a pedo into a car and driving across an African wasteland only to break down and almost die from constant exposure to pure shit.
Of course, no show is without its flaws, as the character designs were specifically made to troll the animators on a celestial level. Unsurprisingly, no one gives a shit about this show. However, a controversy occurred last Thursday involving the show's creator, Skyler Page, making an advance on some chick for the lulz, thus forever linking the name "Clarence" to a perverted bastard awaiting a visit from the Partyvan (read below). It should be noted that the sick fuck behind this show is the only reason we bothered to give it an ED article.
Contents
Characters[edit]
There are actually a bunch of more characters in the show but they're flatter than paper - and like paper, they're easy to rip to shreds.
- Clarence - The typical modern American child. He tends to fuck everything up, is obese, extremely retarded, and can't be trusted with the slightest task. Also has the weirdest fucking voice for a child, which was provided by the mentally unstable creator of the show. I mean, even his latin spanish voice sounds a bit better...
- Jeff - Clarence's friend, a "sophisticated" pseudo-intellectual suburbanite dickbag of a child who whines about everything and can't accept the reality that isn't better than everyone. He resembles the obligatory default character from Minecraft. Also, he has two moms, because Cartoon Network panders to faggots now.
- Sumo - Probably the show's most lulzy character (sadly), as he's a piece of inbred midget backwash and an avid crystal meth user, hence his aged appearance and inability to express any sort of logic or rationality. He and his family are white trash to the max, a clear beckon to the majority of the show's audience.
- Belson - The rich kid who's the only child smart enough to notice Clarence's MR. He has a fetish for dolphins and cosplays Steven Universe 24/7.
- Mary - Clarence's mother, who's only on the show because that fat fuck of a child came out of her gaping vagina. She's dating an embodiment of the typically lazy, slovenly Americunt nigger and in the earlier episodes, her mouth would creepily stretch behind her hair when she spoke. Although she's drawn to look pretty much like an adult female version of Clarence, fans of the show seem to have named her the show's sex symbol, for some reason.
- Chad - Mary's boyfriend, who's even more retarded than Clarence. He's too much of a manchild to hold down a steady job, so he mostly just leeches off of Mary, and basically functions as another son to her.
- Amy - A girl who showed up one episode and was never seen again.
- Joshua - The guy whom Clarence and friends are ruining. Over the series he collects a plethora of injuries, gains weight and possibly becomes homeless. By the end of the series he'll commit suicide.
- Damien - Clarence's dad (maybe). Nothing is known about him besides his name, since he either died or left Mary before the show began. It can be assumed that he either ran out or blew his brains out due to the stress of having to deal with his fat retard of a son.
- G͘il͞b̧e̸n - A̟͕̘̲̰̜͘ ҉̳͍̥̭̩̪c͟h̸͎̦̩͈̲͕i̠͖̟͈̯͉l̘̮̪̭͎͞d̠͜ ̢̪͕̭w͡i̸̟̩͉t̹̙̟̮͖̜́h͓̘̜̦̣͕̫ ̗t͎̖͖͚̙̩̮h̭͕̲e̡ ̯̫p̸͉̪o̲͎̪͔͉̕w̨̭̰͇̹͉̲̠ẹ̵r̖͉̣͓͚ ̪̫̫͓̘̼̥t̡̹o̝ ̶̯̦͇͖dì̛͖̤͉̳͓̙̝r͍͉̬̥̱e̳̠̱̗̱̘ct̪̻̠̘̺̖̜l̬̰y̤̟̙͔̬ ͔̫c͈̗om̫͇͇̪m͚͇̠ų̧͎ṉ̶̻̝̺̖̳͉i͔̪͙͈͕͢ça̜̟̯̤̮t̰͔e̖ ̲̟̜̝̰ͅw̫̪̗͙̮i̷̫͖̣̙̪̘ͅt͔̹h̬̱ ̧̼y̙o̡͙u͎̠͘r̛̯̥̤̰̱͈̰ ̜s̛͎̩͖͎̖̲o̥͠u̡͕̲̜̻͇̟͎l̠ ̢̤̪͉̳͇͙̖w̖̰͚͔̜͕͝ì̺̗̯̤̤t͢h̨̝o̲̘͎u̳͙͚͖t̬̝́ͅ ̜̫̦̲s͙͖̩̯̩̩̹p̱̪̲ͅe͖̪͓͈̻̳ͅąk̡̲ì̮͓͍̙̗̭͕n͙͠ͅg̘̲͈̀ͅ.̵͉̫͍ ͇͎̲H̸e̗̪̣ ̞c̺a̦̱͝n͍̲͈͈ a̢̫l̝̹s̠o͔̬̳̝͙͜ ̭̝a̝̩t͉͘ͅt̵͉̘͚͔a̶̟c̴̘̳̙̭k̖̟͕̝̪ ͓̠yͅou̵͇͉̩͙̠ ̡͇̰w̦̹͕̱̲̜̭i̕t̯̱̼̬̞͡h̫̻͎o͚̰̜͍u͍ͅt̘̤̗̱̳͕ m͎̲̳ͅo̝̯͇̪͚v͇̻̯̝́i̷̜̫̯n̻g ̩̜͉̤̠͔͜h̵͖͍̬͚i̷̳̪̫̩̲̱s͏͕͚̘ ͍̩͓̥̝͟ḅ͙̘o̼̙̫̩͍ḏ̯y̬̱̫̱͓̼̟.͔̺
- Jeremy - Clarence's hipster duplicate that lives in his dreams.
- Balance - A
grownadult who enrolls in Clarence's school to escape a parallel circus universe. He has no problem picking on small children and has telepathic mind control powers or something.
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Episodes (Just look at these titles, so creative.)[edit]
Skyler Page Fiasco[edit]
On June 29th, 2014, Skyler Page, the creator of this clusterfuck of a cartoon, was accused of touching a lady who works on Adventure Time (serves her right for working on a shittier show) in a number of ways that she wasn't okay with. Emily Partridge, the sandwich artist in question, decided to vent her frustrations regarding the situation on her personal Twitter account, first by sending out a series of strange, cryptic tweets, and then all out name-dropping Skyler and accusing him of being a boob-groping bastard.
As soon as the feminist cunts on Tumblr and Twitter got wind of the event, they went full retard to defend the protection of creativity for wimminz everywhere, thus resulting in Skyler being fired from Cartoon Network. The show is expected to continue for now, just without its creator's input. Remember kids, make a shitty cartoon and try to date co-workers and you too will be accused of molestation!
| —Deleted Twitter post (attached image) by Emily Partridge posted at 6:07 PM - 26 May 2014 (93 retweets) (249 favorites) | ||
| —Deleted Twitter post by Emily Partridge (@empartridge) posted at 9:17 PM - 2 Jul 2014 (6 retweets) (95 favorites) | ||
A Page of Skylers[edit]
Skyler Page
Not to be confused with Skyler Paige
Who is not to be confused with Skyla Paige
See Also[edit]
- Cartoon Network
- Adventure Time
- Regular Show
- Steven Universe - The slightly better brother show to Clarence
- Uncle Grandpa - Somehow, a more fucktarded show than this.
- Almost raped
- Down's Syndrome - required in order to enjoy this junk.
- Feminazi
External Links[edit]
empartridge - protected by feminists and white knights
givememountaindew - Caution. She is Undertale trash, Osomatsu-san trash, and South Park trash.
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Clarence is part of a series on Visit the Social Media Portal for complete coverage. |
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Clarence is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article August 2 & 3, 2014 | ||
| Preceded by Luigi's Death Stare |
Clarence | Succeeded by Vaporwave |
