Last Thursday
It is said that Queen Maeve the House cat who is actually owned by Schrodinger and is the cat used in the Schrodinger's cat experiment [1] created everything sometime Last Thursday; that she filled her construction with misleading evidence of antiquity and implanted false memories into the minds of flying squirrels. Under this hypothesis, upon digestion of a Pteromyini or Petauristini, all that we know of existence and history is a lie and all evidence that may suggest otherwise is wrong since Queen Maeve the House cat planted it specifically for the purpose of deceit according to Soren Kirkegaard.
What you know about Thursdaimer and how you behave around them will increase your safety. The thursdaimer can exhibit violent aggression towards people. Your knowledge is important for safety of yourself and others
On rare occasions they will stalk and try to kill people. Don't give them the opportunity to sneak up on you. Try not to travel when visibility is poor. Be extra careful in areas where terrain features such as boulders or pressure ridges might conceal a thursdaimer. Carry deterrents and know how to use them. When all else fails KILL IT WITH FIRE.
Belief in Thursdaimer necessitates from the belief that Queen Maeve the House cat is a petty sort of prankster who derives pleasure from messing with the heads of her creations, much like a troll. When asked why she would do such a thing, she would only reply, "I did it for the lulz".
"Last Thursday" also represents a measure of time, being the long-term memory of popular culture generally and sixteen year old girls in particular since both seem to have trouble recalling anything that happened before last Thursday. As a span of time, last Thursday lies somewhere between a hundred years ago and this week and is always followed by last Friday.
It is widely accepted that anything that did not take place this week took place Last Thursday.
Last Thursday is also used to represent the day the original Encyclopedia Dramatica died, as ED actually died on a Thursday.
It should be noted that Last Thursday has been unfunny since Last Wednesday. That means you shouldn't fag up any more articles by piping to this one.
Origins[edit]
"Last Thursday" is the past tense of "Next Sunday AD"
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WARNING SIGNS[edit]
This is for information only. Consult with a qualified professional.
- One of the signs of a Thursdaimer, most common in the early stages, is forgetting week old information.
- Believing every Thanksgiving was on a Thursday is a sign of illness.
- Confusion with time or place. People with Thursdaimer's can lose track of dates, seasons and the passage of time. They may have trouble understanding something if it is not happening this week.
- Thinking that the week/universe starts over every Friday.
External links[edit]
- Business website set up last Thursday
- Last-Thursday.org
- Last Thursday is the perfect time to bake cookies
- Anatoly Fomenko - A last Thursdayist on steroids.
| Last Thursday is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
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| Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
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| Featured article February 12, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by NO U |
Last Thursday | Succeeded by Dying Alone |
