Tim Buckley
Bum Tickley is the creator of CTRL ALT Delete, a webcomic about games. The comic is notorious for being the worst comic ever created. You can ask him all about it on AIM: TimBuckleyCAD.
Contents
- 1 Portrait of an "Artist"
- 2 West Warrick Beacon May 31st 2001
- 3 Pedobear Buckley
- 4 Buckley Butthurt
- 5 Britanny Benn
- 6 Greed
- 7 Hobbies
- 8 Fuckley Gallery
- 9 Typical Tim B^Uckley Statements
- 10 Being Called Out on His Bullshit
- 11 Cthulhuphant, or: Jesus christ, Buckley, are you even trying?
- 12 All In The Game Yo
- 13 Lol Bashing
- 14 See Also
- 15 External Links
Portrait of an "Artist"[edit]
The son of Maureen and Robert Buckley, Timothy William Cuckley is a typical third-generation American Irishman using his mongrel heritage as an excuse to engage in arsehole behavior, wackiness, and alcoholism. Also true to his Irish roots, he's been in trouble with the law and has a remarkable unemployment streak, which explains his decision to become a webcomic artist- seeing as though they're always rolling in bitches and riches. He's also used a girlfriend's miscarriage as an excuse to dump her ass, which resulted in the expected lulz.
When the inevitable occurred and he dropped out of college, Tim decided to use the internet as a vehicle to restart his life and in 2003 his abortion of a webcomic actually found something of a fanbase despite bland jokes, poor quality, and inaccurate video game references. However, it was Buckley's many, many other issues that removed him from his pedestal, including boorish behavior towards fans, pompousness, and begging for sales. He's since been removed from many convention invite lists and hasn't been to any since 2006.
West Warrick Beacon May 31st 2001[edit]
Officer J Allen responded to a shoplifting call at Stop & Shop on May 26. Upon Allen's arrival he saw the suspect, Timothy Buckley, laying on the floor of the security office, tired and out of breath.
According to store security, Buckley was seen shoplifting and needed to be physically led to the office. Security guards said he was cooperative for a short time and then tried to escape again, fleeing towards the door.
Allen got Buckley up off the floor and proceeded to pat him down. Allen recovered two packets of El Paso seasoning in his front right pocket.
The store security said they observed Buckley on the cameras putting some items down the front of his pants. A veal cutlet and top round steak were recovered from his waistband. According to the report, these were the items he tried to push down his pants.
In total, $23.35 in goods was recovered from Buckley.
Timothy Buckley, of West Warwick, was charged with shoplifting and was released on a summons to appear in Third District Court.
Who the hell steals food? Oh, never mind.
Pedobear Buckley[edit]
Unlike the disgusting yet ultimately harmless scribbles of many of his peers, Buckley takes his love of loli to new criminal heights by sending underage fans pictures of his gross, infantile dick. When the victims express their disgust to other members of the forum, Tim deals with the drama by taking the high road: Banning everyone involved and then some.
Like arson, animal abuse, and theft to serial killers, paedophiles need to get away with lesser crimes (such as exposing oneself to a minor) in order to feel gutsy enough to commit greater crimes, so like good net citizens, we should take it upon ourselves to report Tim Buckley to law enforcement officials. For the children.
Buckley Butthurt[edit]
While rarely using his forum as a means to mingle with the fans or, perish the thought, read constructive feedback to improve himself as a comic artist, Suckley manages to find the time to personally attack even the most garden variety of insults hurled at his shit comics with nerd rage, excessive swearing, and hearty doses of NO U.
The fact that B^Uckley can swoop over negative feedback like a hawk on a baby chicken indicates that he probably spends over 9000 hours a week combing his forums and commanding his loyal army of cock-sucking moderators to throw the banhammer whenever somebody puts his life’s work down. This display of self-worship and tyrannical authoritarianism reveals the true hypocrisy of Buckley’s nature, as he the was first to stamp the Nazi sticker on American Greetings when they threatened Tyco and Gabe with a lolsuit on some shit last Thursday [1].
In fact, if you listen carefully, you can hear him building a fail army to edit this page.
Britanny Benn[edit]
The love of his life is Britanny Benn, a rather insecure girl who's distant from reality and wants to be a vet to look after cute animals, collects My Little Ponies like it's out of fashion and talks like a 12 year old's first time on AIM.
She also is four years his junior and was courted by Buckley at Conneticon when she was just 17. Barely legal indeed. It appears Buckley also ditched his current girlfriend once he'd realised he had a chance with Britanny.
Other stories include that Britanny's cherry was popped by Tim, along with the first time bonus prize of herpes.
Greed[edit]
In addition to the comic, he also has a subscription service where people actually pay money each month to see really bad flash animation of his comic. It's well-known that his site is secretly used by the government, and anyone who actually pays for this is automatically declared "too stupid to live" and killed by the CIA.
Hobbies[edit]
Tim Buckley spends his days being an incredible asshole to anyone who may try to undermine him, shitting out copy-and-paste comics with stolen jokes and stupidly slow plotlines and generally trying to make more money any way possible. It is currently unknown if he is actually a money hoarding Jew, however seeing as even the lowest Jews are experts at manipulation and golddigging it seems likely he is simply a greedy white trash whore.
EverQuest[edit]
He played EverQuest and modeled his Gary Stu character, Ethan, after him as a recovering EQ addict. After his time with EverQuest he formed the guild "The Rapscallions" on the World of Warcraft server Dark Iron. This occurred in response with PVP and Penny Arcade forming guilds along with their fan bases on the same server. Joining the legion of nerds who had brought about the most monumental influx of retards since the times of Ellis Island; he continued to ride everyone's coat tails while feigning originality. Over the course of time he inevitably lost interest as the guild made progress through Molten Core, where eventually loot disputes would take their toll. After apparently receiving emails from members complaining to him about his guild for a game he stopped playing on he suddenly showed up on Christmas week, much to the rejoice of his followers. Within minutes he went on a tirade about how everyone was bitches and to leave him the fuck alone, resulting in him kicking everyone from the guild in nerd rage. He wasn't the guild leader so everyone just rejoined but let it never be forgotten.
He then moved on to EverQuest II, even after saying he will never play it, ever 404 conspiracy'. He was on the Nagafen server, as a character named Vithran, as mentioned here. For some reason SOE let him run a few CTRL ALT Delete strips in their EQ2 magizine, EQuinox. Aside from that, there are no known lulz involving him and EQ2, besides the occasional goading from EQ2Flames users. Nobody knows what MMO he plays now.
Wikipedia[edit]
Bum Tickley also enjoys vandalizing the Wikipedia pages of other webcomics. This was discovered by fans of some fat fuck that runs some other unfunny comic called PVP:
This is so great.
A fan sent me a condolences gift yesterday to try to lift me up. Boy did it ever. Apparantly there is a site called Wikiscanner, where you can look up someone's IP address, enter it into the site and it will show you every Wiki entry and edit they have ever made.
This fan had an email from Tim Buckley and used his IP address to wiki-search him.
http://wikiscanner.virgil.gr/list_edits.php?ip1=68.60.213.27&ip2=&ip3=&ip4=#
My favorite: Tim deleted the enitre wiki entry for PvP and replaced it with "pvp sucks."
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=prev&oldid=32072999
If you look, you'll see that at various points, Tim vandalized his own page anonymously, then posed as CAD fans admonishing the vandalism. This was like Christmas, and my birthday all rolled into one email.
Dear fan who wished to remain anonymous. One thing Mike Wieringo LOVED to do with me was gossip like a fucking bored housewife. He would have FUCKING LOVED THIS SHIT!
Thank you for this. It made a difficult day better.
Yes, Fuckley not only gets off on showing his penis to 15-year-old girls, but he also vandalizes not only other people's pages but even his OWN page, then revert the edits posing as fans sucking his pedophile cock.
Since his last account got ratted out, Tim Buckley now posts on Wikipedia now as "Thrindel", still attempting to keep the Ctrl+alt+del page clean of anything that might offend the e-peen he saves for the kiddies. His user page, and equally shitty webcomic page is a regular target of vandalism, however, owing to his pathetic existence he relentlessly purges any edits to both pages within minutes and got the page locked because he was butthurt by vandalism. Now the criticism section that B^Uckley tried to prevent is on Wikipedia. More information here. If you want proof that Thrindel is in fact Buckley (apart from the fact that the edit history for that account is solely for CAD, apart from a few vandalizing edits of other, better webcomics), vandalize the fuck out of Thrindel's discussion page on Wikipedia for great lulz, and then, once the dust has settled, try to visit the Ctrl+Alt+Del forums. OH WAIT, you can't! Your IP has been banned! Coincidence?
Thrindel has failed!
Sweet Raptor Jesus, a raid? Or empty vandalism?
Fuckley Gallery[edit]
Enjoy this deleted fucking everything post, TOTALLY OMG DID NOT EXPOSE HIMSELF TO AN UNDERAGE TRAP.
Some Argue that Tim Buckley is a Pedophile.
When asked by an anonymous user on Wikipedia who Jackie was on his Thrindel user page, he admitted that he had shown his penis to her.
Oh, Tim. Such treatment of fans.
Watch out for this lady killer
Typical reaction to fans who approach him at conventions.
Buckley's girlfriend is a little girl at heart...just the way he likes it
The inevitable.
The OTHER Tim Buckley who had actual talent.
Typical Tim B^Uckley Statements[edit]
| —Tim Buckley, Responding to enthused fans who wish to see more of his comic. | ||
| —Tim Buckley, on the importance of sensitivity toward women [2] | ||
This is the kind of shit this guy comes out with on a daily basis on his blog:
| —Buckley, on wishful thinking. | ||
Notice how Buckley here is trying to suppress years of high school locker-room bullying and parental abuse by imagining himself beating up nerds who, unsurprisingly, engage in the same activities as him. This is but one of many examples in which Buckley attempts to hide his feelings of self-loathing and inadequacy by mocking the culture his comic and characters (and therefore himself) are a part of.
| —Buckley | ||
| —Buckley, Hypocrite and lazy bastard all rolled in one. | ||
Boner for Emo Spider-Man?[edit]
Some anon's anecdote: I used to read this wankchop's 'comics', and one day he had written the usual load of shit (I can't be bothered to go find the comic, because I'd have to wade through every self-indulgent, unoriginal, badly drawn comic, and I'm not prepared to do that. I like my dreams non-homoerotic thank you very much). So I decided to tell him what the world thought about Spider-Man via email:
| —Anonymous, informing Tim Buckley of the rest of the world's opinion. | ||
And a few hours later, I got a wonderful reply from Mr. Cocknose himself:
| —Buckley, showing his love for emo pussy Spider-Man. | ||
Anyone who saw Spider-Man 3 can clearly see Peter Parker turns into an emo faggot. Buckley wants to suck some of that.
Being Called Out on His Bullshit[edit]
A user on Buckley's webcomic's forum called out Buckley on how he hadn't talked about video games in over 16 consecutive strips and was instantly perma-banned for "no reason".
Cthulhuphant, or: Jesus christ, Buckley, are you even trying?[edit]
As stated in his webcomic news section, his character design for an online game called Heroes of Newerth has recently been approved and ready to be used for play. Needless to say, it's nothing but a shitty Cthulhu ripoff that could've only seen the light of day thanks to Buckley's talentless mind. The origin of all things lulz, however, stems from the delightful comments found at the showcase video:
All In The Game Yo[edit]
Buckley's yearly circlejerk Digital Overload is this year being held in Baltimore, a city renowned for its friendliness and acceptance of all creeds and colors where his loyal fans are sure to feel welcome.
Keyboard tossing, how original. Also, comments disabled.
Lol Bashing[edit]
ED isn't the only one to make fun of B^Uckley:
- Yahtzee's July 2, 2008 video ripped into him good. Lulz ensued. Before which, he'd pointed out that he hated Ctrl-Alt-Del's faggotry. ("23/3/08: You Cad" is the main one, but he mentions his dislike elsewhere.)
- A SA thread in General Bullshit making fun of the comics and Buckley himself. Lulzy shoops can be found there.
- EQ2Flames users either flame or defend Buckley in this callout thread. A handful of shoops can be found there, too.
- Tumblr such as this collection of ban art and shoops. Still funnier than vanilla CAD.
- And of course, all of /v/.
See Also[edit]
External Links[edit]
| Tim Buckley is part of a series on Dying Alone
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