Pantera
Pantera formed in 1981 they didn't have a name to cum up with so they just decided to name themselves with a ripoff name from Panera. Members, at first, included Darrell Abott/Darrell Faggot on guitars, Rex Rocker/Sex Cocker on bass and Vinnie Paul/Skinny Paul Faggot on drums. They invited in a glamfag in the band named Terry Razor and began as a bunch of glamfags, releasing three piles of shit in a row of glamfag metal and standard metal ripping off Jewdas Priest. Then Terry left and hasn't been in since then
Soon after, Phil Anselmo joined and they made a Jewdas Priest ripoff album called Power Metal. Then after two years in 1990 they decided to beat off to trash metal like Shittallica, Megadeth, and Assthrax.
So they made their album Cowboys From Taco Bell with Popular songs like the album-titled song, Cemetary Aids, and Donkey Nation. The song Cemetary Aids is easy to play as long as you can ripoff Juice Dickinson from Iron Gayden and even scream like a Britfag is getting a cigarette rubbed with burns on their cunt. The scream MUST ripoff Rob Halford aka the closetfag from JEWdas Priest. Then in 1991, the vocalist Phil became a skinhead and realized how fun it is to beat off to head tattoos as well. So then next year, they decided to go ZOMG HEAVIER AND HEAVIER AD STRONGER AND MOOAAR TUFF!!!!
So they released a very popular album called Testicular Display of Itch-Powder. Then Phil became an internet tough guy and would bark in the microphone, get extremely butthurt. Then Darrell made his guitars sound more like a kid was chewing on the strings. However, the record company was too fucking blind to read the album title that they thought said "Vulgar Display of Power". Then in 1994, Darrell came under the name "DimeFAG" and they released their chart-top album called Far Beyond Butthurt. One song was a butthurt song Fail Anselmosaurus made called "5 Orgies With Joe" which talked about how he was pwnt at a concert in 1991 and the kid's dad also pissed Anselmosaurus off. In 1995, people were exposing DA truth on this band that they were racist since Phil was bald and Dimefag occasionslly had the Confederacy design on his guitar. So Phil got butthurt and a honest speech lie.
Phil's inspirational skinhead speech.
In 1996, they released an album called The Great Southern Asstail which was an album of nerd rage from Phil about how he's mad at the mainstream even though his band was popular at the time. Then another album in 2000 called Reinventing the Shit. In 2003 the band were arguing so Skinny Paul and Dimefag decided to form Damagefag, a Fagtera clone during the hiatus.
Contents
5 big records:[edit]
- Cowboys From Hell (1990) - Phil belongs in a church choir in this album. God his singing is awful.
- Vulgar Display of Power (1992) - Worst album ever. Awful, uninspired riffs like "Walk" which is their most over-hyped, overrated song.
- Far Beyond Driven (1994) - Songs with 10 second riffs repeated over and over again, phil taking a shit while making awful vocals
- The Great Southern Trendkill (1996) - Consists of Phil screaming and awful guitar riffs such as "Floods"
- Reinventing the Steel (2000) - Their last album (thank god.) and their best. Amazing guitar riffs like "Death Rattle" and "Hellbound"
Phil Anselmo[edit]
Phil Anselmo is an openly gay cocksucker. His shows consist of him screaming and even threatening black security guards. In 1992 he was fully racist, being bald and pretty fucking hot. He then tried to cover his racism with hair in 1995. He had a million side projects including "Clown" and "Supergoat Bitchual", both of which suck. Phil would often fight people in the audience because he's SUPER TUFF. Philly boy often talks about how he smokes weed at concerts. He's totally asking to get v&. During the recording of "The Great Southern Asstail", he recorded his shitty vocals in New Orleans while the other faggots were in Texas, further distancing himself from the band. Phil then moved on to "Clown" and stayed away from Fagtera, before crawling back to Dimefag, begging for more of that hot quicksilver. In 2000 the band was back together. After Reinventing the Shit, Phil decided it was a good idea to focus on "Supergoat Bitchual". Leading to the formation of Damagepran.
Please grab popkorn and a drink and laugh at Phil's butthurt bitch-fit after he got pwnt.
- 1990
Stupid gay mohawk and shitty gay singing.
- 1992
Brutalcore, grindcore vocals and extreme racism.
- 1994
At this time he started taking drugs, because he hurt his back in a gay orgy, and is still a bald racist.
- 1996
Has stupid hair and can't do anything but scream into the mic. Loaded on heroine
- 2000
Grew hair to cover racism and is somehow worse at singing.
Trolling Fagtera Fans[edit]
- Talk shit about Dimebag
- Go to a gig that Phil's in and toss empty beer cans at him
- Call Phil a Nazi
- Say that Avenged Sevenfold's cover for the song "Walk" was better
- Say that Phil's a wimp
- Say that Dimebag's death was funny
- Say that Nathan Gale was a hero
- Say that Pantera are rednecks
Members[edit]
- Phail Anselmo
- Dimefag (Deceased)
- Sex Brown
- Vinnie Paul/Skinny Paul Faggot (Deceased)
Dimefag Darrell[edit]
Probably the worst guitar player ever. It started in 1987 when he wore super gay clothes and sucked at guitar. When Vulgar Display of Power was released in 1992, Darrell thought it would be a good idea to support gays by painting his beard pink. The song Cemetery Aids has the absolute worst solo ever. Other awful solos include "Floods", "Hard Cocks and Sunken Dicks", "Walk", and "Racism is my Name". Dimebag had a major drinking problem and is probably why his guitar playing sucked so bad. He often played with fireworks and unfortunately didn't die from an explosion. Dime couldn't even write a guitar riff. Around 2000 dimebag started to get fat, and he let his neckbeard grow out. Dimefag had enough of Phil and formed "DamagePran".
Death[edit]
One night at a DamagePran concert, an hero named Nathan Gale pwnt Dimefag Darrell and kept shooting until the party van full of copfags shot Nathan's brains out. Many have thanked Nathan for his bravery for having the balls to sacrifice his life by shooting Dimefag and preventing Fagtera from controlling Earth with their cracker hockey supremacy. But all the fans just got butthurt. Then Phil and Rex continued with their band Clown, which was originally a side project.
Gallery[edit]
YOU BETCHUP!
Testicular Display of Itch-Powder
Rust in peace
GIVE ME CLOSETS TO BREAK - FRED DURST
TUFF
TUFFFFF BR00TTE433L
Pantera fanboys... because Dimebag bit the dust
HELTER SKELTER
See Also[edit]
|
Pantera is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
