Prince
(also known as Prince, The artist formerly known as Prince and the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince), Powerword: Prince Rogers Nelson, was a musician and the envy of many homosexuals during the 70s and 80s. mistakenly believed that he could reclaim the internet by SUING FUCKING EVERYONE – Unfortunately, his plan came to an end on April 21, 2016, when he suddenly died, most likely as a result of the same form of AIDS that he so desperately wanted to save the internet from. He is now the corpse formerly known as the artist that was formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince but was once again Prince before becoming the corpse formerly known as the artist formerly known as......fuck it, you get the picture.
's face is Serious Fucking Business. He has recently declared an E-Jihad on all images, tattoos, and anything that looks remotely like him, including the Shroud of Turin and Goatse. He was planning to sue all niggers, Will Smith, and the continent of Africa for having melanin and eating KFC.
Contents
Career Overview[edit]
Much like his sister-in-law's baby cousin Barack Hussein Obama, Prince was a halfrican split between those of nigra and white descent. His great ancestor was related to Sally Hemmings, and in spite of his celebrity status, the Jefferson family still tell him "Wrong Location Nigger" when he shows up for family reunions. Prince is still suspected to be responsible for the Y2K devastation which he had predicted back in the 80s, when BBS was what passed for an internets connection.
Tay Zonday's musical hero, Prince was the first artist to perform a rain dance as a form of popular music. However, due to overwhelming levels of faggotry and GRIDS, Prince's rain was purple rather than chokklit. He was in the closet on at least 100 different batshit levels, ranging from his obvious homosexuality to bestiality and beyond. If anyone knows what it sounds like when doves cry, it was Prince, who found out when he tried to stick his penis inside of one. After sampling the sound of the dove's reaction, he put it to a drum machine and it became his biggest hit.
At the peak of his popularity, Prince was often compared to singer Michael Jackson, although unlike Jacko, Prince was not a pedophile regardless of how hard he'd try to be one.
Prince®[edit]
| —the Ear Sheriff | ||
A lawlsuit? Over MY fan site? It may be more likely than you think. Prince has declared a mighty war on all content containing his regal image, meaning that middle-aged women and fgts everywhere will be seeing their websites closed like a Swedish swimming pool.
Prince has hired the WEB SHERIFF to scour the tubes, SEAKING images and content that may contain his face, hands, fingerprints, saliva, penis, faeces, semen, air he may have breathed, water that at one time was his piss, and any binaries he may have interacted with. What Prince doesn't know is that he's sparing the entire internet and world at large every single eye-molesting Geocities site dedicated to worshipping his herpes-infested dong.
The Jewtubes are also off-limits, Prince has declared, so that noone can watch him sing about naked girls wearing red hats. Several accounts have allegedly been baleeted by his leet h4x0r rent-a-cops.
| —SilentPrinceProtest, invoking Godwin's Law in ALLCAPS. | ||
It is rumored that he was trying to figure out a method by which he can copyright the word Prince itself to extract several thousand years of back-pay from the Chavs for their flagrant abuse of integrating his product with their government and history. He has also been sighted going door to door in the Amerikkkan midwest, demanding totals exceeding $9000 from every housewife who thinks about him in the shower while they grind against the flexible massage extension.
Prince has also threatened to sue The Pirate Bay. Get in line, douchebag.
Prince Fans United[edit]
And what could all of this super cereal hijacking of his Lordship bring about? A war between Prince and his own moronic fanbase.
Yes, they've formed a website to fight back against the man they love and cherish the most. The site endorses websites such as Princefams.com, Housequake.com, and Prince.org which have all received threats of internet lolsuit for sucking his e-penis.
Prince's Fanbase[edit]
Consists wholly of gays, middle aged women, gays, men with male pattern baldness, gays, and your mom. Prince's fan base are the kind of people who think patchouli smells good and actually listen to Barry White when they lay down some white wimmenz. They are currently exploding with butthurt and drama over his edict by birthright to pwn their nostalgia orgy websites.
Forums on every PFU-affiliated website are discussing the issue, but no visible trolling has taken place as of yet, possibly because noone really gives a flying fuck.
Fan Lyrics In Protest[edit]
Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys Who were up to no good Startin making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air' I begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed my suite case and send me on my way She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'. First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright. But wait I hear they're prissy, wine all that Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat? I don't think sow I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air Well, the plane landed and when I came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out I ain't trying to get arrested I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
JULY 5-11: The Internets is Over.[edit]
Last thursday Prince tried to create the biggest forced meme evar by saying that the internet is over. Obviously, this caused one of the biggest lollercausts that history has ever seen. Some argue that this may become a reality, but only if Prince keeps doing what he's doing.
Lulz come quick, Lulz come in a hurry. There trolls in the temple tonight![edit]
Trolling Prince? Can one troll Prince? The answer is yes, but this will generate lulz at a minimal level You can't troll Prince, evar! Here's why. The reason? Prince would sue making you poor and your mother suck cock for a nickle or a hit of blow. Some argue that because of his actions towards the internets, Prince himself, was trolling the internet. It all points to the truth. Consider the following, You can try to troll Prince IRL or IRC. However, in the end, your father loves his music and your mother rushes upstairs to the shower to masturbate to him while listening to Darling Nikki (women really love that song). Your parents conceived your pathetic ass while listening to his music. With that being said, your mom pretended she was being fucked by Prince rather than your dad making Prince your real (you wish) spiritual dad. People believe that he raged at this whole ordeal of not being paid his money by the tubes, but this is in fact the complete opposite. Prince clearly had us all fooled into thinking he is butthurt. In actuality, the evidence points that it is the internets, including his fanbase, are the ones who are BAWWWW-ING. Prince was filthy rich, and making women climax at his presence as as selling platinum albums is just the cream (Yet another hit song). Prince's true intention was not for the money. Prince was like any other troll, but unlike the vast majority of trolls, Prince can actually get laid. This explains why he would go around in public wearing panties, perform was a penis-resembling guitar, and have 98.5% of his music about sex. Prince does it for the lulz. This makes Prince the greatest troll in the music industry.
Facts About Prince
- In his spare time, Prince was a regular on 4chan.
- He stalked people who download his music illegally, and if you put it on your iPod or MP3 player, he deletes and corrupts all the files on your iPod/MP3 player.
- moot is a fan of his.
- Prince has always exhibited behavioral qualities of a troll. He has always been the harbinger of controversy (IRL and in his film debut, Purple Rain)
- After hardcore sex, Prince use to record the cries of the women who couldn't handle the intercourse, play them backwards, add guitar solo, lyrics and would become an instant hit.
- On a related note, he made a song called "Controversy" for his 1981 hit album called "Controversy", which caused mass amount of butthurt and, you guessed it, Controversy.
- There was no Parental Advisory label on music until 1984 when Al Gore's wife Tipper, caught their daughter masturbating in a magazine to "Darling Nikki" and pushed for that bill. You have Prince to thank for that.
- Prince can actually divide by zero.
- Prince can actually triforce.
- Prince knows your mom.
- Prince invented the term "Wham-Bam, Thank You Ma'am".
- Prince was a fan of Boxxy.
- Prince was more badass than Chuck Norris.
- Dis cat could ball, man!
| — some fan trying to be philosphical or some shit | ||
| — Prince telling the truth. Indeed a true man of honor | ||
Exhibit A: Excerpt of Lyrics to Computer Blue
"Where is my love life? Where can it be?
There must be something wrong with the machinery Where is my love life? Tell me, where has it gone?
Somebody please please tell me what the hell is wrong Till I find the righteous one Computer blue
Till I find the righteous one Computer blue"
Analysis: The proof is in the purple pudding. Not only has predicted Y2K in his hit song 1999, but also geniously the infamous blue screen of death. To add lulz into the lollercoaster, he has also told the story by means of mocking a typical basement dweller not being able to go on something awful or look at rule 34 because of this PC issue. Because of this, this only further supports the fact that Prince is the troll and a damn good one too. Perhaps, the Prince of trolling.
Want further reassurance of Prince's trolling endeavors? In the 90's, Prince got pissed off at his record label Warner Bros. for trying to whore the hell out of him. Even his name would grant more money to the executives than Prince himself. In an episode of trolls trolling trolls , Prince substituted his name for . This symbol is known as the love symbol or loev. Lulz ensued (as always) when fantards and left tards alike, raged as to what was his name. Prince, like the epic troll that he is, sat back and watched the shit storm he deliberately brewed as people engaged in the biggest flame war of the decade. This lead to most of his music videos of the 90's to be labeled "The artist formerly known as Prince" acronym TAFKAP (note: exclude the letters "T", the second letter of the acronym which is "A", and the letter "K", what do you get? That's right). This too was unsatisfactory as people (fans alike), to further bitch on the fact his new name was tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong to pronounce or spell. Prince finally had enough lulz for one life time, and showed a troll's remorse for the thousands of lives lost during the flame war. Later on, Prince regained ownership of his music and name costing Warner Bros. millions. When questioned about this period, Prince replied simply with these words..
Gallery[edit]
Prince's Extent of Awesome
The True Prince of Persia
Prince just stealing some children
Possible scenario we must consider for the future
Worst Case Scenario
Videos[edit]
<center>Prince wrote this song hoping to be Donald Trump Black Version.</center>
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also[edit]
- Prince's sick fuck of a twin and enemy
- Attorney at lol
- Rich and beautiful
- You don't have any friends
- RIAA
- DRM
- Fanboy
External Links[edit]
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Prince is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
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Prince is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
| Prince is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
|---|---|
| Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |
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| Featured article April 24 & 25, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Chyna |
Prince | Succeeded by #ShoutYourStatus |
