Rootbrian

	“	I don't stay on the computer 24/7, I take a two-hour break...	„
	—Rootbrian, daredevil

DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Rootbrian, whose real name is Brian Gilbert Collinge, is a 35-year-old passive-aggressive YouTube lolcow and anti-cyber bullying "activist" from Canadia who has an evenly shorn ex-unibrow, a grill worse than Jawsus', and the personality of a kitchen utensil. An unemployed, mildly autistic 5'4" dwarf (no, srsly), he has become known as a motherlode of LOL on the tubes. He specializes in producing an unbelievable number of informative and meaningful videos on a wide variety of subjects he feels are important, as well as providing the odd lolcano here and there. Brian lives at home in a shared room with his brother and mother on a steady diet of government cheese and is, by far, one of YouTube's biggest sources of lulz to date. Rootbrian is basically the YouTube equivalent of that bloody car crash you can't help but slow down to look at. He's a staunch Fetch fanboi, YTV supporter, and wannabe Anon with high hopes for the tubes and feels he could hit it big if only teh "haters" would leave him alone. He dreams of getting his own bedroom someday, and scoring a solid dental plan if only his mother would shell out some welfare money.

History

"I don't have a family dentist, never have, never will."

"Stages in the evolution of a wild rootbrian."

Bricks were shat.

SICK FUCK!

No caption necessary.

bawwwww

On June 18th 2008, Rootbrian's (more like Rootcanal amirite?) video (now removed) caught Anon's attention. In this video, he threatened the faceless collective of anonymous Internet users with his personal army, claiming that if anyone ever tries to attack him or his friends, there will be blood. This was seemingly done for no other reason than to draw attention to himself and act like a tough guy online.

	“	"Fuck with or bully me and you'll have to face my friends too."	„
	—Brian

An ebaums thread ensued shortly thereafter and minutes later the first thread 404'ed with a shitload of rage posts, the raid organization on the target subsequently moving to a vent server. Anon managed to grab his info, which wasn't hard to find as Brian had posted it on the interwebs for the sake of finding new Internet friends for this god amongst men.

Luckily, there have suddenly been hundreds of "friends" calling his home and cell phones, making sure he's getting enough delicious food delivered to his house. While the vent channel has been generating mediocre lulz, the half-anon snipe ate some steroids and convinced the target to make an exclusive apology video, for otherwise he would provide anon with his IP and the food treatments would continue for a very long time.

According to the videos he made after the raid, anon converted his brain into pure cancer. With the common needs satisfied by the traumatized victim, anon moved on to more important things.

Reaction to Wikification

Brian distilled. He's reknown as one of the lulziest commenters on all of YouTube and perhaps one of the easiest to troll. This is essentially a carbon copy of every comment thread Brian has ever spammed.

Of course, it didn't take long for this hilarious event and one of YouTube's biggest lulzcows to be documented on this website. After discovering that he was still being trolled and that his YouTube shenanigans had been wikified, Brian offered his thoughts on the article. Unfortunately, this very lulzy video is no longer available since it was posted under one of his older accounts -- which was rightfully banned. A quote from the video:

	“	I just wonder why they don't got a topic on Microsoft, Windows Vista, Bill Gates, DRM?	„
	—Brian, having trouble with the search function.

Moar Reactions to his Article: Rootbrian cries about ParasiticAngel

See moar in Rootfaggotry and Deja Vu

Rootfaggotry

I lol'd, but then I was like :(

Anon lost interest in Brian rather quickly following the initial lulz, but he very willingly spent most of the summer of 2008 grovelling at the feet of Anon and ED, pleading for others not to troll him. Brian's ability to read between the lines isn't that great though, and apparently that affability was false. So at the whiff of possible retaliation against his oppressors -due to the claims of some 13 year old- he quickly did a 180° when convinced he could get that sweet, sweet revenge against his "haters"....

Watch the lulz in chronological order...

<video type="liveleak" id="4e6_1244449422" width="420" height="360" frame="true" position="center"/>
<center>Brian gets his hopes up...</center>

<video type="liveleak" id="88b_1244450084" width="420" height="360" frame="true" position="center"/>
<center>...Brian blows his load...</center>

<video type="liveleak" id="de5_1244450155" width="420" height="360" frame="true" position="center"/>
<center>...Brian gets that old sinking feeling.</center>

Previous Video | Next Video

	“	ED will go down, even if I can't hack and don't know shit about programming or botnets, i know the geeks and anonymous will make 'em beg for mercy, or have no mercy for them all. ED targeted me, I didn't know what to do, but now that they're gonna be going down, it's gonna take the labels off me once the crammed article is removed and the site is PWNed. I can't wait to see an ad page replacing it, or a 404 NOT FOUND message in my brother browser, Firefox.	„
	—Brian on Brian's butthurt issues with ED.

	“	World peace has hit the internet!!	„
	—Brian

Epic lulz ensued shortly thereafter as, due to incidental downtime on Aug 25th, Brian had assumed that he had actually achieved that promised "revenge" and promptly blew his load at the prospect of his article disappearing. He immediately posted an extremely lulzy victory video titled "ED IS TAKEN DOWN!!" declaring that "Anonymous has taken down ED". 3 hours later Brian realized what had happened and promptly posted a lulzy backpedal video before he quickly sank back into his clinical depression and returned to his rigorous masturbation schedule of spamming YouTube with moar lulzy shit. He apparently did not realize that Anonymous is not on his side, and that they want to make him voluntarily become an hero.

Brian's Butthurt

This section relies entirely on facts. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. Sorry for the lack of dick jokes.

Brian explains why he uses a cane.

Brian being ironic, and a hypocrite as usual.

Wait, wut? Brian likes to "talk" to 15 year old girls on MSN?

Brian loevs loli.

To those who still don't know, this article was removed toward the end of 2008 as a result of Brian himself sending in numerous false DMCA's against the entire contents of the article out of extreme butthurt. As you can see, the article was restored after somebody finally decided to stop being lazy and counter Brian's bogus DMCA take down requests, despite his desperate (and illegal) actions to have it removed. Brian has a little trouble understanding how the DMCA and lawls work though, as he is known for his abuse of the DMCA - on YouTube and elsewhere - believing it can be used against anything remotely referential to him or his YouTube channel(s). Gee, sounds familiar.

It was also revealed, shortly before his original account went down - in which he had uploaded OVER 1,000 FUCKING VIDEOS (no, SRSLY) - that the rootbrian.com website (the website which was supposedly set up by one of his "fans") was in fact set up by himself. No, we're not joking. Brian and the website "owner's" IPs were phished on the same day and were identical, which also means the rootbrianfan channel is his - Brian seems to like talking to himself.

Brian got raped by the YouTube banhammer not long after only to return immediately as r00tbrian wherein he continued to spam and whine incessantly as always. He started wearing a Guy Fawkes mask for some reason, supposedly because that's what all the kool kids were doing and he wanted to fit in. Still, this was a vast improvement over the usual fugliness viewers are subjected to when watching his tl;dw faggotry. But he wasn't around long before he was suspended, only to return, once again, as 0RecoveryIsPossible0. It was also recently revealed that he uses a cane IRL. LOL.

Rootmom speaks...

Brian's Mom goes on cam to defend him.

A wild rootmom appears!

A wild RootZombie appears!

Epic lulz occured when Brian made a series of lulzy responses in early 2009 regarding evidence that surfaced suggesting he has somewhat of an unhealthy interest in underage girls (presumably in some desperate effort to convince people he wasn't watching R@ygold in his spare time). Brian has since done a great job dispelling these accusations by surreptitiously consorting with the YTV and the likes of Dynacatlovesme (who has scripted a couple of videos for him as it turns out). After being outted as having pedo tendencies for some reason he also made a video where he vlogged from the mall about it . Incidentally, in this follow-up Brian states that Circuit City is conspiring to take down the YouTube Yahweh Clan Who knew?

But that wasn't all...he actually got his mother to respond ON video!!!!!

	“	Go suck your "ah-noes"	„
	—Rootbrian's fugly mom

The Banhammer Falleth Once More

Brian's "fansite" (the one he matter-of-factly set up him self) has an "enemies list", Brian takes after Nixon.

E-begging?

After shitting out hundreds more videos of the same Rootfaggotry, his 0RecoveryisPossible0 account got banned for great justice. He returned yet again under TheOriginalRootbrian and began his spamming shitstorm with a very lulzy video where he cries onscreen -TOS bawleeted (Check 5:46, see for yourself) but claims something got in his eye. His recent focus has been on uncovering the sekrit conspiracy that YouTube has against him, since they keep "censoring" his videos and banning him for polluting the site with garbage. He even threatened to SUE YOUTUBE. FUCKING LOL.

Rootbrian responds to his TheOEMRootbrian account being suspended: Rootbrian cries about getting flagged.

	“	Your actions will turn against you.	„
	—RootBrian, not heeding his own advice.

ED Amazon Store

Brian's Dad and fellow Canadian vlogger.

April 28th, 2009, lulz were had as Brian put out an ultra smug video claiming that he had gotten items "removed" from ED's Amazon.com store. What were removed were teddy bears that were wearing t-shirts that said "I <3 pedo" on them. In reality Pedo was a Mexican kid with cancer that they were selling the bears for to raise money for his treatment. No seriously.

In reality, ED's Amazon store just finds shit on Amazon and adds them to the store, i.e. nothing can be "removed" as such, only from Amazon in general. Basically, it wasn't ED that was actually selling anything, it's Amazon, and we just pick a bunch of items that are relevant. It's a little doubtful he will have the same success getting "Play Station 3 bundle" and "Rick Astley CD" removed. So basically it was a huge victory for anyone and everyone who hates Teddy bears.

	“	"They have a much faster internet connection. Much faster computer too."	„
	—Brian. Thinking people give a fuck.

Pssshhh...that article doesn't bother me

Two-hour break my ass!

Once this article was reinstated in late April 2009, it didn't take long for enterprising trolls to alert Brian of the article's continued existence, which in turn led Brian to set out to prove just how little he cares about his article. In typical Brian fashion he accomplished this, of course, by making a nine minute video a mere one day later whining about how little he cared about it. This one, entitled Down with Encyclopedia Dramatica, continues Brian's long-held tradition of battering YouTube with whiny bullshit and hilarious stupidity. In the video, Brian gives an in depth view of how little he knows about legal issues and makes several very bad attempts at insulting the site that he supposedly doesn't care about. He even touches upon the hot topic of saying that Uncyclopedia is better than ED, which is like walking into an apple orchard and trying to piss off the farmers by telling them how much you love oranges.

As you can see, Brian also makes several proud proclamations of how his video "can't be embedded," as it seems he finally figured out how to edit the settings of his videos, but still can't understand how easy it is to reupload videos to YouTube or any other media site on the internet.

YouTuber AbsenceReborn, with whom Brian had had previous disputes, made a fantastic video summating Brian's faggotry in general. One of dozens and dozens people have made mocking Brian, it basically summates Brian's retardedness distilled - to which Brian answered in his usual retarded fashion. Brian also then attempted to backpedal yet again by stating that he "only made the video for the lulz." (Video removed due to Brian crying to YouTube again)

Of course, Rootbrian has been faking for over two years now. Fast forward to 2010 and Rootbrian is already butthurt over the Twitter spam he is getting. End result - he watches his ED article constantly to remove good stuff in secret. However his attempts are pretty futile resulting in everything getting reverted.

Deja Vu

Derp derp derp

wait, did you say cock?!

Rootfag looking uglier than ever

Fortunately, Brian isn't very good at learning from history. And as expected, Brian didn't fail to provide lulz when ED was down (for a whole day!) on May 12th, 2009, when he became quite excited and (you guessed it) posted a series of extremely lulzy responses. All Brian's E-dreams seemingly came true when he rejoiced at ED being "gone forever". When she came back, as she always does, Brian got that ol' sinking feeling again to the delight of the YouTube troll community. Oh Brian :(

	“	I can't wait to see it fall down and banish!	„
	—Rootbrian, with Unrealistic expectations

	“	Their articles will be gone! Mine too! ...which I don't care about, but I talk about... It's just a piece of text and graphics to me, which are all ugly and gross...	„
	—Rootbrian, still not caring about this article

	“	As a gigantic fuck you, I will now go to read the ED article on you, then go on a proxy server, false DMCA everything, and 1 star and flag everything. Thank you for your time. Video response from ur mom plox.	„
	—toughdog6789, responding to RootBrian's video

Lulzy Rootbrian Quotes

Rootfag, he's even scarier in b&w

He's either on the verge of a nervous breakdown, or recently became a cancer patient. Either way the 2 hour breaks are definitely not working.

	“	First of all, I'll fuckin save up my money for something better. Bike first, digital camera/camcorder next.	„
	—Rootbrian's wish list, which to no surprise, does not include a dental plan.

	“	I don't have a family dentist, never have, never will.	„
	—Rootbrian, taking a stand against good hygiene

	“	Whatever @dykyo my last name, address, and phone number have changed.	„
	—Rootbrian, just married, renouncing his dox.

	“	By the way, I'm not gay. I have very strong feelings for a female friend in Durham Region of Ontario.	„
	—Rootbrian, on being not gay.

	“	I use Vaseline as hair gel.	„
	—Rootbrian, providing personal grooming tips.

	“	@ahkonlhamo oh and me, my family, we aren't on welfare. That idiot spamming you is.	„
	—Rootbrian denying the truth that is being spread by the Rootbrian Twitter Spammer

	“	Holy shit, I used to work with this guy at a supermarket in Toronto. His name's Brian, and he's a mess. It was a lame job I took just because I didn't have anything else at the time. We mainly just cleared the parking lot of shopping carts. The boss pretty much hired whoever without any prior screening, which is the only way this guy could get a job, I think. Other co-workers included his older brother, as well as a socially inept friend of mine who got me the job, and a Portuguese man who barely spoke English. I am not exaggerating in the slightest. The first day he came to work, he almost didn't come in because he just didn't feel like showing up, and almost stiffed his own brother with having to work a double shift. Yes, his first day. While he worked there, he'd consistently do inappropriate or destructive things like pop plastic bags (scaring customers), and just toss any garbage he found inside the carts onto the ground even after I told him he shouldn't do that (even in full view of the janitor). One day he found an old lightbulb and said he would put it in the microwave in the staff room. I tried to reason with him. I even told him that I use that microwave so I didn't want him to mess with it. But he was convinced it would be a great idea. I finally left saying I wouldn't be a party to it. Even though I tried to pretend I didn't know what was going on, he didn't wait for me to leave the room before he started. My boss lost his contract with that store and we all lost our jobs because of it. I wonder why.	„
	—anonymous

	“	[ Encyclopedia Dramatica ]'s gonna go down! It's gonna go down fast! [...] If I'm wrong... if I'm wrong... well... I don't care...	„
	—Rootbrian, showing rebuttal skills only overshadowed by Angry Homo Kid's.

	“	Wadda 'ya think I'm drinking? C'mon, wadda 'ya think? [...] You don't know what it is, you'll probably never know. [...] It's not alcohol either. I would never drink in front of the computer. I would never risk getting drunk in front of the computer, or on video. [...] But if you wanna believe I'm drinking alcohol, go right ahead, I don't care. [...] It's not alcohol at all. It's Coca-Cola, ok? It's fucking Coca-Cola, it's NOT alcohol.	„
	—Rootbrian, trying to convince people he's not drinking while intoxicated.

	“	The ones that spam all that negativity. They're going to have to be blocked. I'm really sorry, but that's what I'll have to do. Cause that's all you post, you're gonna have to be blocked. Don't take it I'm censoring you, cause you caused it to be drawn on yourself. don't put it on me, you did this.	„
	—Rootbrian, going block-happy and claiming that he's not censoring. lolwut.

	“	@thedogspollocks I used to be on the internet *allot* when I was younger. I have since reduced it.	„
	— Rootfaggot spouting out more bullshit

	“	My brother needs to get the fuck out of the house and he has to stop drilling lies into peoples heads.Wish he wouldn't stand naked in the livingroom he Watches TV naked with others in the house, but when somebody comes and knocks the door, he rushes to get his cloths on.	„
	—Just another day in RootMoms roach infected apartment

	“	@ToothbrushTimmy Maybe you should do all of that and stop living with your family idiot. inconsiderate fucking asshole.	„
	—Rootfaggot being a hypocrite as usual. Note the terrible grammar and lack of punctuation as well.

Skype Trollin' And Tiny chat trolling

[[COLLAPSE][EXPAND]]

[8/2/2009 7:18:15 PM] toughdog6789: Hello! Please add me to your Contact list.
[8/4/2009 2:52:09 AM] Rootbrian: Rootbrian has shared contact details with toughdog6789.
[9/13/2009 12:22:03 AM] toughdog6789: hey buddy
[9/13/2009 12:22:05 AM] toughdog6789: whats up
[9/13/2009 12:22:19 AM] Rootbrian: not much
[9/13/2009 12:22:32 AM] Rootbrian: signed in after a month of not having skype installed (forgot to install it)
[9/13/2009 12:22:45 AM] toughdog6789: start any drama lately?
[9/13/2009 12:22:57 AM] toughdog6789: get ur mom to show up on any videos?
[9/13/2009 12:23:18 AM] Rootbrian: no drama, i don't usually start it, following along with the drama is what i might do
[9/13/2009 12:23:40 AM] toughdog6789: well if you think that you dont start drama, then boy, do i know someone you'd LOVE to meet
[9/13/2009 12:23:49 AM] toughdog6789: he even looks alittle like you
[9/13/2009 12:24:01 AM] toughdog6789: u might know him
[9/13/2009 12:24:14 AM] Rootbrian: i've seen a few in my area also that look similar to me
[9/13/2009 12:24:27 AM] toughdog6789: oh, so you live in a condo for mentally retarded people?
[9/13/2009 12:24:33 AM] Rootbrian: no
[9/13/2009 12:24:39 AM] toughdog6789: apartment*
[9/13/2009 12:24:40 AM] toughdog6789: my bad
[9/13/2009 12:24:44 AM] Rootbrian: just a bad neighbourhood
[9/13/2009 12:25:06 AM] toughdog6789: so ur saying since people look like you, its a bad neighbourhood, which makes you retarded
[9/13/2009 12:25:08 AM] Rootbrian: a badass family in the same area is causing allot of drama for everybody
[9/13/2009 12:25:18 AM] Rootbrian: not online tho
[9/13/2009 12:25:42 AM] Rootbrian: naw, you can't assume somebody's got a mental disability by just looking at them.
[9/13/2009 12:25:58 AM] toughdog6789: ok hang on i just have to tell someone about you
[9/13/2009 12:26:04 AM] toughdog6789: nvm cant
[9/13/2009 12:26:19 AM] Rootbrian: were you talking about pruane?
[9/13/2009 12:26:24 AM] toughdog6789: lol no
[9/13/2009 12:26:30 AM] Rootbrian: hes a canadian
[9/13/2009 12:26:49 AM] toughdog6789: he's stupid, ugly, and thinks he's cool!
[9/13/2009 12:26:55 AM] toughdog6789: and he has a 3 inch penis just like you!
[9/13/2009 12:27:07 AM] Rootbrian: those are made up
[9/13/2009 12:27:15 AM] Rootbrian: the 3 things
[9/13/2009 12:27:16 AM] toughdog6789: you said you had a 3 inch penig
[9/13/2009 12:27:20 AM] toughdog6789: penis*
[9/13/2009 12:27:22 AM] Rootbrian: never did
[9/13/2009 12:27:29 AM] toughdog6789: theres a video
[9/13/2009 12:27:33 AM] Rootbrian: joking about it, yes.
[9/13/2009 12:27:51 AM] toughdog6789: ah i gotcha u where "joking" about it
[9/13/2009 12:27:55 AM] toughdog6789: 3 inches is much to large for you
[9/13/2009 12:28:00 AM] toughdog6789: lets be realistic
[9/13/2009 12:28:03 AM] toughdog6789: 1 inch
[9/13/2009 12:28:29 AM] Rootbrian: actually, 5 inch
[9/13/2009 12:28:41 AM] toughdog6789: is that in retard numbers?
[9/13/2009 12:28:44 AM] Rootbrian: most of the ones causing drama online have 3 or less
[9/13/2009 12:28:53 AM] Rootbrian: actual numbers
[9/13/2009 12:29:02 AM] Rootbrian: calling/labeling me that is a waste of time
[9/13/2009 12:29:07 AM] toughdog6789: well, for retarded people its actual numbers
[9/13/2009 12:29:13 AM] Rootbrian: not really
[9/13/2009 12:29:36 AM] Rootbrian: tooo much of that stereotypish stuff going around.
[9/13/2009 12:29:55 AM] toughdog6789: is that because you're retarded?
[9/13/2009 12:30:19 AM] Rootbrian: no
[9/13/2009 12:30:27 AM] toughdog6789: are you gonna make a stupid video about me that noone will watch and will provide massive lulz?
[9/13/2009 12:30:33 AM] Rootbrian: fuck that
[9/13/2009 12:30:48 AM] Rootbrian: the whole rootbrian thing is over.
[9/13/2009 12:30:57 AM] Rootbrian: boxxy gave up being boxxy for that reason
[9/13/2009 12:31:26 AM] toughdog6789: oh, so ur gonna fake-leave again?
[9/13/2009 12:31:29 AM] Rootbrian: I don't even talk about or mention rootbrian at all
[9/13/2009 12:31:36 AM] toughdog6789: YOUR
[9/13/2009 12:31:37 AM] toughdog6789: FUCING
[9/13/2009 12:31:38 AM] toughdog6789: ACCOUNT
[9/13/2009 12:31:39 AM] toughdog6789: NAME
[9/13/2009 12:31:40 AM] toughdog6789: IS
[9/13/2009 12:31:41 AM] toughdog6789: ROOT
[9/13/2009 12:31:42 AM] toughdog6789: BRIAN
[9/13/2009 12:31:44 AM] toughdog6789: YOU FUCKIGN
[9/13/2009 12:31:45 AM] toughdog6789: IDIOT
[9/13/2009 12:31:56 AM] Rootbrian: I used to start off videos "hey, rootbrian here", now i don't
[9/13/2009 12:32:12 AM] Rootbrian: don't care what my screenname says
[9/13/2009 12:32:22 AM] Rootbrian: that's old news bro
[9/13/2009 12:32:32 AM] toughdog6789: im not your bro, guy
[9/13/2009 12:32:43 AM] Rootbrian: i knew that
[9/13/2009 12:32:44 AM] Rootbrian: just saying
[9/13/2009 12:33:03 AM] toughdog6789: i actually come from a normal family with normal dna and a normal amount of chromosomes
[9/13/2009 12:33:09 AM] toughdog6789: oh, and we have something called
[9/13/2009 12:33:10 AM] toughdog6789: a house
[9/13/2009 12:33:16 AM] toughdog6789: and dentists
[9/13/2009 12:33:25 AM] toughdog6789: and we dont alk with canes like retarded people
[9/13/2009 12:33:28 AM] toughdog6789: walk*
[9/13/2009 12:33:39 AM] toughdog6789: because we're ACTUAL humans
[9/13/2009 12:34:10 AM] Rootbrian: wow, you still believe i use a cane?
[9/13/2009 12:34:23 AM] toughdog6789: theres a video of you walking with a cane
[9/13/2009 12:34:48 AM] Rootbrian: I was holding on to it, somebody left it in the park.
[9/13/2009 12:34:56 AM] toughdog6789: no, u where WALKING with it
[9/13/2009 12:35:03 AM] Rootbrian: for style
[9/13/2009 12:35:16 AM] Rootbrian: I don't have it anymore since that original date of the video
[9/13/2009 12:35:23 AM] toughdog6789: you can't polish a turd brian
[9/13/2009 12:35:26 AM] Rootbrian: gave it back to the person
[9/13/2009 12:36:01 AM] Rootbrian: mythbusters, they've polished turds into bright shiney marbles.
[9/13/2009 12:36:06 AM] Rootbrian: believe it or not
[9/13/2009 12:36:15 AM] Rootbrian: it's possible
[9/13/2009 12:36:25 AM] Rootbrian: it'll never stop stinking tho
[9/13/2009 12:37:56 AM] toughdog6789: well then
[9/13/2009 12:38:01 AM] toughdog6789: you sir, are lower then a turd
[9/13/2009 12:39:18 AM] Rootbrian: i don't really care what you say, it's not going to change my ways.
[9/13/2009 12:39:36 AM] toughdog6789: thats cuz ur retarded
[9/13/2009 12:40:30 AM] Rootbrian: not because you assume I'm retarded (or anybody else for that matter)
[9/13/2009 12:40:40 AM] Rootbrian: cause i don't have to listen.
[9/13/2009 12:40:55 AM] toughdog6789: cuz ur retarded
[9/13/2009 12:41:09 AM] Rootbrian: like people told me to stop posting for years. I didn't, I still don't stop.
[9/13/2009 12:41:23 AM] toughdog6789: but you said before that you where stopping
[9/13/2009 12:41:30 AM] Rootbrian: on youtube
[9/13/2009 12:41:41 AM] Rootbrian: I have another account reserved only for watching video
[9/13/2009 12:41:44 AM] Rootbrian: *videos
[9/13/2009 12:42:11 AM] toughdog6789: you're mentally fucking retarded, why the fuck do i give a shit?!?!
[9/13/2009 12:42:18 AM] Rootbrian: yeah, why?
[9/13/2009 12:42:37 AM] Rootbrian: makes anybody wonder
[9/13/2009 12:42:40 AM] Rootbrian: makes me wonder
[9/13/2009 12:42:47 AM] toughdog6789: 2 + 2 makes you wonder
[9/13/2009 12:42:52 AM] Rootbrian: no
[9/13/2009 12:43:04 AM] toughdog6789: DERP
[9/13/2009 12:43:08 AM] Rootbrian: lol
[9/13/2009 12:43:13 AM] Rootbrian: it's not a forum here
[9/13/2009 12:44:23 AM] toughdog6789: wtf does that mean?
[9/13/2009 12:44:28 AM] toughdog6789: did you run out of retard pills?
[9/13/2009 12:44:57 AM] Rootbrian: ya know what? I don't have to even talk to you.
[9/13/2009 12:45:09 AM] Rootbrian: since harassing is your turnon
[9/13/2009 12:45:10 AM] toughdog6789: are you pmsing?
[9/13/2009 12:45:23 AM] toughdog6789: well your mother is YOUR turnon

You heard him, he doesn't usually start the drama.

[5:41] Type /help for a list of commands
[5:41] Topic: XENU LIVES!!! www.xenu.net www.youfoundthecard.com www.li
[5:41] guest-50105 entered the room
[5:41] guest-50105 changed nickname to tomcurise
[5:41] guest-50103 changed nickname to will_smith
[5:41] guest-50118 entered the room
[5:42] guest-50118 changed nickname to jasonbegay
[5:42] will_smith: you hate on my religeon
[5:42] will_smith: on our religieon
[5:42] will_smith: no your ignorant
[5:42] rootbrian: WWW.XENU.NET
[5:42] guest-50135 entered the room
[5:42] rootbrian: WWW.WHOISDAVIDMISCAVIGE.COM
[5:43] will_smith: tell me why do you hate on us for what?
[5:43] will_smith: what did I do to you?
[5:43] will_smith: turn off your music I can't here you speak
[5:43] will_smith: hello?
[5:44] will_smith: I also can't deny you have poor choice of music
[5:44] will_smith: lets debate about this mater instead of you saying hate and racism and listening to bad music.
[5:45] will_smith: lets talk about xenu.net
[5:45] will_smith: what about im looking at
[5:46] will_smith: your ignorant, just check out the inside of a org, you will see how nice it is, inside
[5:46] will_smith: E-meters? No man, quit acting dumb.
[5:46] will_smith: what?
[5:47] will_smith: I have lots of life time awards and your saying im a faggot?
[5:47] will_smith: I been in plenty of movies and your saying im a faggot, I heard you man.
[5:47] will_smith: Your real ignorant in the worst way possible
[5:48] rootbrian: www.exseaorg.com
[5:48] will_smith: I know the truth, my beautyful wife, I don't hear you with your girl.
[5:48] will_smith: yes and my childeren
[5:49] will_smith: I donated millions to a school for scientology
[5:49] will_smith: you listen man, I did nothing wrong and your saying hateful things.
[5:50] will_smith: You, say "fuck you" thats not hateful, huh?

Rootbrian being hateful to some will smith fans.

MOAR

---

(Root)Brian Collinge blames ED for his online reputation or lack thereof and his inability to obtain employment. LOL.

---

	“	Unless you're too cowardly to leave your fucking house	„

- Brian, summing up his life story in a sentence.

Rootbrian fights against false flaggers

Brian in an attempt to take down people who were "false flagging" his videos made a video promoting a new team that was against false flagging. The team was known simply as "Team Win" needless to say this team effort failed at what it was supposed to do. Stop people from flagging his videos lol.

ED's Demise

On April 15 2011, after it was found that a fat money-grubbing jew-cow sold out ED and replaced it with OhShiternet without prior warning, Rootfag and his boyfriend Doug uploaded exactly 69 videos about their naive excitement on ED's downfall. Butthurt ensued after the Rootcanal discovered that it took no more than a day before loyal EDiots quickly scrambled to get to get their king back up and running.

To celebrate, Rootbrian decides he doesn't have enough cavities and missing teeth.

Boytoy Doug uses his mating calls to attract potential rape victims.

Rootfag is butthurt over ED's quick reserection and unaware of the reason for its demise.

and again..

	“	OhInternet will continue to own Edd. You can complain all you want about it but you cannot change the fact that Edd is complete horseshit and OhInternet is complete brilliance. It's more civilized, I'd say.	„

- Brian via RootbrianRocksAgain in an obvious display of butt-hurt.

The infamous and banned iPad video

Sometime around June 2010, Brian went onto Jewtube bragging about how he was going to go into the Apple Store in the Toronto Eaton Centre to destroy demo models of the then new iPad. One of his tormenters, TheMissingTooth, alerted mall management of this video, who in turn alerted store staff and security, putting an end to the crippled faggot's plans. About a year later, Brian went onto say that it was only a joke, and that store staff knew about this the whole time. He also had all copies of the video banned from Jewtube and Dailymotion out of extreme butthurt. Brian is very adamant of having this video banned from all video hosting sites, and tries to file DMCA or 'cyberbullying' complaints about it. If you live in Toronto, feel free to pop by the Eaton Centre's Apple Store and inform the staff on duty about the drug addicted cripple and show them the video.

Trivia

OH LAWD!

Typical responses to one of his videos.

• Makes videos on 3 subjects exclusively:

1. Crying about trolls.
2. Destroying his mother's microwave by nuking random household objects.
3. Whining about non-existent censorship of his channel and Google (while his channel is fully RID enabled of course).

• He spends most of the day "napping" for 5-14 hours at a time.
• Foolishly responds to hate comments, leading to an increase in his hate "following"
• One of YouTube's most well known pathological liars. Can be caught, at any given time, lying his ass off and/or backpedalling about almost anything whatsoever.
• His mom has seen his article.
• Rootbrian surprisingly has a girlfriend,She lives in Wigan,United Kingdom while Brian lives in Toronto,Canada. Rootbrian says he can't put any pictures up of them together because he doesn't have her permission to do so. because previous comments on her facebook have led us to believe that she is, infact, a faggot who wants to see his pen0r LOLWUT?
• Has openly consorted with and supported YTV and Logansperman2, Irish282 and Dynacatlovesme.
• His brother was revealed to be even more IRL retarded than he is in a video Brian uploaded where his brother spoke in slurred mongoloid speech-patterns and picked his nose and ate it. Despite this, his brother still has a job, a girlfriend, and dresses better than Brian.
• Uses a cane to walk. Lol crippled.
• Got owned by totse when he flamed various users in one of his fits of aspie rage.
• Has shown to be demonstrably passive-aggressive in his responses to trolls, he will often be completely affable one day, then the next a full blown retard (although most often full blown retard). Tends to suggest he has emotional issues most shut-ins acquire from years of anti-social behavior and neglect.
• His " musician" channel links to keystothestudio.com - a website for "people diagnosed with developmental and intellectual disabilities". Needs investigating...
• It's suspected that Brian's mom loaned him out for medical experimentation when he was a baby to get crack money. Most of the experimental drugs themselves were likely harmless in the long term, but many of them involved injections which contained a mercury preservative, which is a likely cause of his severely stunted mental development. This was only compounded by the excessive exposure to close range microwave tampering which came in the following years of his life, starting at childhood. At this point, due to these combined factors, he is pretty much a brainless meat puppet, unable to process any information beyond the level of an infant.
• Some of his videos feature a faint crinkle noise, or a rustling plastic sound. The reason for this is most likely that Brian was never trained to use the toilet, and even though he's in his mid-20s, he still wears a diaper. When welfare is low, he sometimes just sits on a garbage bag without pants, to preserve the Huggies supply.
• A fan of lolsuits. Has filed DMCA's all over YouTube.
• Sounds remarkably like Jawsus when he speaks.
• Supposedly lost his tooth in a car accident.
• Made claims that he was going to be getting married.
• In a call, he shouted for his brother Dad husband and asked him to call the police. Is he gay?
• Even TehBigToaster, BodyXPolitic and alexander4488 think he's retarded.
• His "friends" can open a command prompt.
• Has suffered permanent brain damage from his microwave experiments.
• Was kicked out of a Rogers Cable store for being a retard and attempting to troll the sales reps working. Then went onto Daily Motion and bawwed about it, claiming ot to be epic win. Watch it here.
• Is 5'4", 28 years old, unemployed, and lives at home with his mother at 190 Woolner Ave Apt 110, Toronto, Ontario, Postal Code M6N1Y3 in a shared room with his brother. He's a top, who'd have thought?
• Openly admits having a 3 inch penis. No, SRSLY. BALEETED
• His real name is Brian "Root" Collinge. His mom's name is Linda, while his brother's is Shawn.
• Is a butthurt faggot that baws about this very article, and creates sock accounts to edit it in his favor.
• In debt and wish he could afford a bike. Saves his jewgolds from his monthly welfare cheque so he can buy one, instead of a much needed dental plan.
• Got butthurt from JewTube user 'RootmomIsComin4u' re-posting his videos and adding in humourous annotations and had them tos'd.
• Is African American.
• Bawwed and decided to set his worthless videos to 'subscribers only' because of all the hate and trolling he received.
• Hangs around in a lesbian bar called "Slacks". See one of his videos of the establishment here. "This predominantly lesbian hangout bypasses grunge in favour of subtle swank, while gently twinkling tea lights add a touch of romance." Is Rootmom a lesbian? Or does Rootbrian fail at picking up chicks? You be the judge.
• Rootbrian tried to ddos youtube but failed. [1]
• Is a pedophile and admits it here.
• His Facebook relationship status is "In a Relationship" (Hand doesn't count amirite?)
• After abusing his Blackberry for months, Brian was surprised that it no longer works.
• Brags about installing a ten year old nVidia tnt2 video card into his piece of shit computer.
• The Game.
• Spends a majority of his welfare money on obsolete computer equipment.
• Roots through the garbage of supermarkets and restaurants for food.
• Cried to the admin of MemeGenerator over major butthurt and had his image taken down.
• Was beaten up constantly on his bus when he was in school. Had to change school buses 24 times in grade 5 because of all the bullies. Even as a little kid, people hated this faggot.
• Kids threw rocks at him because they didn't want him around. Now they throw rocks at him because he's a pedophile.
• Despite being almost 30 years old, has still only ever had one job in his entire life. And he only got that because the manager of Food Basics (a discount grocery chain in Ontario) just hired anyone with a pulse.
• Can be seen loitering around at either the Eaton Centre or the Greyhound Bus Terminal in downtown Toronto to leach off the free wifi
• Both Brian and his brother were in special ed all through school.
• He's a fanboy of reply whore MeganSpeaks from YouTube, talking about Encyclopedia dramatica is full of evil cowards and criminals on her Twitter.

Root Gallery

• 
• 

  Brian Gilbert Collinge, showing off his pedostache.

• 

  No followers, on a Facebook account that has over 1,000 photos and status updates.

• 

  A Challenger Appears

• 

  Fighting for Youtube rights requires a lot of crack cocaine and very little time for sleep. Not to mention a rejection for hygene.

• 

  Pure evil.

• 

  Smoke meth, errrday.

• 

  Has the long lost Rootdad been discovered?

• 

  The Rootfag rapes Pikachu.

• 

  Rootfag thinks Justin Bieber is tasty jailbait.

• 

  Rootfaggot wants to suck your cock.

• 

  Brian with his oversized pedo glasses.

• 

  Brian high on meth, getting ready to suck his retarded brother's dick.

• 

  Derp

• 

  Rootbrian with the 20 year old video camera he uses to film CP in his mom's apartment.

• 

  Rootfaggot trying to be cool with his dollar store Guy Fawkes mask.

• 

  Rootfaggot showing off his ugly retarded girlfriend. Brian is convinced that she's sexy and beautiful. LOL.

• 

  This is the cockroach infested building that Brian lives in, with his mom and retarded brother.

• 
• 
• 

  Faces of Meth Brian. You too can look like Rootbrian if you get hooked on meth.

• 

  He's free ladies

• 

  Typical response to one of Brian's videos.

• 
• 
• 

External Links

• Article about Rootbrian's retard band
• RootbrianRocksAgain His main account, troll PLZ
• Download and mirror some of Rootfaggot's videos and add in some of your own commentary to give him major butthurt.
• rootedlinuxbrian New account but the faggot goblin pedophile still has it as "hidden". The link below leads you to a search result of his videos. Get flagging.
• search results for rootfaggot's videos
• Supposedly his non-posting account
• RootBrians formspring
• Rootfaggot's facebook.
• Rootbrother's facebook
• Rootmom's facebook
• The Rootsister that was spoken of before? Needs investigating
• Poor bastard who shares the name with our beloved crippletroll
• Brian's Myspace
• Rootfag's White Knight speaks out against ED and the rest of Youtube. Rate it 1 star and flag it for teh lulz.
• Brian on Twitter
• Brian on Viddler RootFag will post all his bawww here
• Brian on DailyMotion Everything he posts is rated 1/5
• Rootbrian on Liveleak
• Rootbrian on Ustream
• Rootbrian's Blogtv account
• Rootbrian's Oxytown account
• Brian's Yahoo live account
• Rootbrian on Cnet
• RootFaggot Spam Pack
• Rootbrian
• so called fagbook trolling account

RootBrian on ED's July downtime

First he was like : "They won't be getting anything this time :D"

And then when ED said "WE DID IT!"
"OH WOW... But it won't last long I presume? Local law enforcement and big brother will be watching those things... That includes the ISP. tisk... lol (I actually just took that screenshot for shits and giggles, since I don't care what happens)"

ED's RUINED MY LIFE!

	“	ED has inspired me to research erectile dysfunction, since that is what the site's mockingly laugh-out-loud nickname is referred to. It hasn't ruined my life, it inspired me to go with the flow and knowing normal casual internet users won't be taking it seriously at all, they won't give a fuck since it's not to be taken as humorous, but rather internet gossip in a crude and demeaning fashion	„

- (not!) acording to the retarded lolcow.

Commonly Confused With

• Cock Mongler
• Corky
• Jawsus
• Romeo Rose

See Also

• Rootbrian/Twitter
• SONYFANBOY
• Dental Plan
• Dental dam
• Internet Humanitarianism
• Nerd Rage
• Unemployed
• Jawsus
• BodyXPolitic
• Tehbigtoaster
• AbsenceOfTheAbsent
• People who are not Anonymous
• Removing your YouTube videos
• Delusional
• STOP POSTING
• Taking Down ED

	Rootbrian is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Retreat!Do It Faggot]
Distinguished Individuals 03bgood • 11pixels • 2cash • Aeverine Nieves • Akai Dalia • Angel Locsin • A Man in Black • Argent009 • Asalieri • Aush0k • Bill9929 • BlueCatRiolu • Bourg Productions • Brian Zaiger • Brian Martin • Chris-chan • Chrissie Barmore • CircaRigel • Clayranger89 • Daniel Brandt • DivineAngel • Donald Buffkin/Tablecow • Doopie DoOver • drp1zza • Elizabeth Minami Wyvill • Erin Anthony • Feltcho • Flardox • FUNImation2002 • Girlvinyl • Grace Saunders • Hayakain • Hozupindahows00s • Intellectual Checkmate • JDubs • Jim Profit • Kevin Martin • Libertarian Fox • LifeInATent • Linkaton Furaito • Love Shy • Lowti3rgod • Lulz in hell Trollfags • Marjan Siklic • Meowbark • Michael Gimson • Mike Sandy • moot • Nate Spidgewood • Oliver D. Smith • Pacificoceanasia • Paul Fetch • PixelBeeProductions • Preachingthegospel• Prince Jeremy • PrinceDumuzi • Purelily • Robert Wayne Stiles • Rootbrian • Rusty Ray • Sceptre • SheWolf • Sirius Orionis • Sniff Heinkel • Spiderfan • SpleeNfat • Steve Hodder-Watt • Sue Basko • Susan J. Elliott • The rEactor • ToonEGuy • Tom Newton • VampiricSpektor • Vordrak • Wwwarea • Noble Internet Entities Anontalk • Anti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.com • Conservapedia • DeviantART • Failcyclopedia • Josephevers.blogspot.com • Metafilter • MyAdopts • OhInternet • RationalWiki • Ripoff Report • Ultraviolet News Network • Uncyclopedia • VidLii • WikiFur • Wikipedia Glorious Civilizations Aborigines • Australia • China • Malaysia • Philippines Related Subjects and Methods Censorship • DDoS • Free Speech • Get a Lawyer • Hacking • Make a Petition • Notify the FBI • Serious Business • SOPA • The Græt Niggercide of Old ED • When I find your faggot ass • Writing an article for Uncyclopedia • You vs. ED

Rootbrian is part of a series on Aspies.

[Back to your happy placeSperg out]

Adam Lanza • Albert Einstein • Alexander Slavros • Amber Buttrum • Andy Kaufman • AniMat • Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto • Aspies for Freedom • Aspierations • Assburger • Bart-Toons • Baldi's Basics • Bambifan101 • Barron Trump • Beefrave • Benny_the_Snake • Benthelooney • Bill9929 • Bill Gates • Blocklanders • BlueCatRiolu • BodyXPolitic • Boris Malagurski • Bourg Productions • Bram Cohen • Brandon Smith • Brownsquirrel • Cansin13 • Chibiyima • Chris-chan • Chris Harper-Mercer • Clay Claymore • Cyndilovespiccolo • Dan Cilley • Darr • Darius McCollum • Darviela Maravarona • DaxFlame • dev-catscratch • DisneyFan01 • DLAbaoaqu • Dragonfan • drp1zza • Eddie Wise • EdenHeroineGirl • Erik Ribsskog • Erin Anthony • ElectroRuffGiusep1 • EmpLemon • Evan Gragg • Flaglerchat • Flardox • FUNImation2002 • Gary McKinnon • GoFags • GrantM • Greg Mazujian • Hannah Capps • Heed My Warning • Hozupindahows00s • Inmendham • Inuboy1000 • Ironholds • Jack Gilbert Graham • Jared Milton • Jahi/4444 • Jessi Slaughter • Joeker • Joey The Autist • Javi Suzumiya • John Patrick Rogers • Joseph8276 • JustinandDennis • JustinRPG • Kawaii Kitsune • KawaiiKittee88 • Kelseyalicia • Kevin Havens • KingMasterReview • Kirbyslover • Kloeri • Kongzillarex619 • Kphoria • Lane Davis • LeafyIsHere • Lukas Pietsch • Lyndsay Kirkham • Lougara • Lordelthibar • Lynn Ann • M. Chaos • Manlytears • Mark Zuckerberg • Matthew Nicholson • Mariotehplumber • MascotGuy • Matthew Davis • MDetector5 • Meta527II • Michael Gimson • Minefags • Misha Silenosti • Missy • Mix Hyena • Monica Punk • Mumkey Jones • Mutescream • MylarBalloonFan • Nate Spidgewood • Nemo Hana • Nichole337 • Nick Bravo • Nickolas Cruz • Nicky Reilly • Neuro • Noahfoxx • Objectcucks • Olinkalex • Onigojirakaiju • Onyx Forepaw • Pacificoceanasia • PMDrive1061 • Popcorn • Prince Jeremy • Randy Stair • RavenNG • RebelTaxi • Robert Clark Young • ROtards • Rootbrian • Ross Lumbus • Ryan • SammyClassicSonicFan • Sean Miller • Super Minecraft Kid • SaturnDOS • Selery • Shane Lee • SiriusOrionis • SolidMario • SONYFANBOY • Spergin • Starblade • Starkiller88 • SteAndKel • SuperMarioLogan • Tablecow • TGcomix • TheAmazingAtheist • TheDOSFag • The Eclectic Espeon • The rEactor • Theme Park Review • Timbox • TheMysteriousMrEnter • Therealagerbon • The Juggernaut • The Unknown Autobot • TheVeganStudent • Toby J Rathjen • ToKeN • Tom Serson • ToonEGuy • Tosh • Trigglypuff • TylerthDragon • Vailskibum94 • Varg Vikernes • Waymuu • WeatherManKevin • Weegeeisgoingtokillm • Werechu • Wetflame • William "AlGore" Atchison • William Freund • Wim Crusio • WolfAdvocate • Wolfeedarkfang • wwwarea • Yeguscus • You • ZS3

Rootbrian is part of a series on Internet Humanitarianism [Click to CollapseClick to Expand] ♘

Species: Internet Humanitarianism • Moralfag • Social Justice Warrior • Slacktivist • Newfag • Real Life Super Hero • Troll's Remorse • White Knighting White Knights of the Round Table: Adrian Chen • Angry Homo Kid • Argent009 • Barrett Brown • CircaRigel • Dangerman • Internet police • Internet Vigilante Group • Irish282 • Jamie Baillie • Jude's Army • Kiwi Farms • Kathy Sierra • KYAnonymous • Marc Threadingham • Michael Crook • Mission: MySpace • Reputation Defender • Rfjason • Rootbrian • Sabu • Tablecow • The Unknown Autobot • Vordrak • Violetkitty411 Bad Guys and Other Targets: 8chan • Face-painter • Furrys • Hackers • MySpace Trolls • Pedophiles • Perverts • Porn • RedTube • Skiddie • Trolls • White people • You

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