TheSockDetective
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WARNING! WARNING! TheSockDetective is a sockpuppet of utter phail and seems to think that greed is a virtue! |
TheSockDetective (Smugfag 2.0), is a failed YouTube troll with delusions of grandeur. Once given a place of honor at the table of the YTYC, he's now mired in AIDS and fail as a traitor, and is forced to sit with the rest of the geeks at "the nerd table". His closest friends on Youtube include the always-lovable Irish282, the convicted child pornographer and sexual sadist WMCritest, and the pseudo-intellectual kid-fiddler DynaCatlovesme. Michael Mills has stated verbatim that he'll befriend any pedophile anywhere if it will help achieve his lofty goal of getting rid of the YTYC and ED.
Contents
Love Life[edit]
Michael's obsession with comic books and video games make it perfectly clear that IRL he is indeed a 34 year old virgin. Internet skeezer SnowVhite picked up on this vibe, and immediately went to work shaking her ass for him. As the YTYC's resident sock-farmer, she realized that by sucking his e-cock, she could at last have the personal army she had always longed for. These two lovebirds had the world as their oyster, until tragedy struck. Just before Valentines Day of 2008, n00dz of SnowVhite surfaced on teh interbutts. Being the slut that she is, she couldn't remember all of the men that she had given them to. She lulzily assumed that it was Barmer479, and immediately began threatening with detectives and other horseshit. Perhaps the best part of the whole ordeal was when she couldn't remember if she had danced naked for Barmer on cam or not.
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Warning! Snow and Socko have recently made up, and re-ignited their romance with a Jerry Springer-esque tour de force. |
BRB Prison[edit]
While Michael was still in the YTYC he DMCA'd several videos of various enemies using fake powerwords. Some argue that he forgot to use a proxy on one of them, and ended up pwning himself bigtime. The recipient(s) of his DMCA stripped his IP out of an email header, and subsequently had him by the fucking balls. They told him that unless he turned on the YTYC and gave up inside information, they would have him put in jail for internet war crimes.
Michael complied, and agreed to roll over on his friends and take it in the butt. He teamed up with every pedophile he could gather on YouTube, including the YouTube Vigilantes and Young Tubers United, promising the pedos that he would "DESTROY" the YTYC. Since Michael lacks any kind of datamining skills whatsoever, he went after the easiest target in the YTYC, vlogger Troy Riser. Being the big badass that he is, Mikey decided to target Troy Riser's son Jacob. He teamed up with notorious pedophile Keith Clark, and created a 
JakeRiser channel. He then advertised this channel to all of the known pedos he could find on YouTube, dropping Jacob's dox, and even going so far as to tell them his route to school. Not fully comprehending yet that he had just committed a felony to cover up a minor copyright infraction, he went into high gear promoting the channel, leaving an e-paper trail a mile wide connecting himself to it. This went on for weeks until Keith Clark was tipped off that there was now a RL FBI case investigating the channel. Keith, having two brain cells to rub together, headed for the hills and deleted the channel. Michael however, remained behind.
For approximately a month, Mike tried to divert attention away from his epic self-pwning by accusing everybody else of everything under the sun. He became well known for telling people that he was going to cause their demise soon, all the while not realizing that he had just completely fucked himself in the ass with a shovel.
On February 22nd, 2008, Michael deleted his channel in a tragic double-suicide with his e-g/f SnowVhite. However, moar recently both have returned to YouTube via their lame Batman fanboi socks.
Quotes[edit]
| —sergeantpoliteness74 |
| —SockDetective |
| —SockDetective |
| —SockDetective |
| —TheSockDetective |
| —SockDetective |
| —SockDetective |
| —xNoNameRequiredx, Internet Tough Guy |
| —xNoNameRequiredx, on how to gain 5 ponds in 5 minutes |
| —xNoNameRequiredx, after losing his anonymity |
| —Micheal Mills,threatening a woman from the safety of his computer |
Trivia[edit]
- Can't spell. His first Socko channel was the "TheSockDetetive"
- Has many names; HatoradeKing, AKA SgtPoliteness, AKA Socko, AKA Stemnigger-chan, AKA Michael Wayne Mills
- Is argued to be the southern version of Smugfag.
- Can't pronounce "vlog", and refers to it as a "vee-log"
- Claims he weighs
180185 pounds. - Has a cat named "EmoSpaghetti" that he abuses on a nightly basis.
- Has no job, and is supported by his Mommy at 34 years old.
- Is on a steady diet of Steel Reserve, Monarch Vodka, and orange soda.
- Claims to be moving since getting his dox dropped.
- Did not learn to tie his own shoes until the age of 17.
Thank You Ma'am, May I Have Another?[edit]
Shortly after several accounts of SnowVhite's were compromised, it became abundantly clear who wears the pants in the Snocko household. Chatlogs surfaced showing Michael getting his balls stomped almost every night by Veronica via messenger, and like a dog that goes back to his vomit, Socko always went back for more.
sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 6:34:40 PM): hahah sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 6:35:14 PM): brb ...phone sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 6:57:39 PM): lol i thought u were tired of talking SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 6:58:14 PM): i took it out 4 now sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 6:58:21 PM): ? SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 6:58:28 PM): my tongue ring duh sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 6:58:55 PM): but you still dont want to chat with me..thas kewl SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 6:59:09 PM): im on fkn udser plane get in there fuck sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 6:59:32 PM): kk hang on one sec still getting fucking bullshit from my fkcing mom sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:00:18 PM): but if you dont want to talk on yahell V you can tell me its not a big deal sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:00:20 PM): brb SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:00:31 PM): i cant talk on yahell and userp;lane SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:00:33 PM): ffs sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:01:07 PM): you told me we would talk on yahell for last two nites.. all im saying. sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:01:29 PM): brb SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:01:37 PM): i was busy with my kid last nite SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:01:42 PM): 2nite im on userplane sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:01:45 PM): i nkow that SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:01:49 PM): talk 2 me there or shoosh sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:01:52 PM): kk sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:04:06 PM): just wanted to hang out and talk to my GF and watch tv for like twenty minutes. thats all i wanted to do SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:07:19 PM): not gonna bother i aint playing this shit sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:13:51 PM): look having a shitty nite tried to talk to mom get her off my fucking back more bullshit from her and other stuff not having to do with u and me...just gonna go watch a movie and crash out SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:14:04 PM): ni ni sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:14:07 PM): kk SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 7:14:14 PM): ly! sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 7:14:21 PM): ly
sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:45:22 PM): hey just woke back up sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:45:37 PM): crashed out but woke up cant go back to sleep SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:46:17 PM): wb sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:46:30 PM): was gonna go over to chat for a bit was wondering if was cool SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:46:41 PM): yeah sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:47:37 PM): hey can i tellu somthing somthing i didnt tellu happened over weekend..didnt want to bother u or anyone over it but fucked me up this week havent told anyone SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:47:43 PM): wut sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:47:48 PM): kk sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:48:14 PM): ok this weekend over fathers day dad called me SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:48:19 PM): o sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:48:25 PM): havent talked to him in like 3 years SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:48:34 PM): hmm sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:48:42 PM): he was drunk talking crazy shit SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:48:46 PM): yikes sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:48:55 PM): talking about offing himself SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:49:04 PM): how he get yer number? sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:49:42 PM): i gave it to him like a year ago...gave it to my sis to give to him if he ever wanted to talk....didnt think he would call SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:50:15 PM): and sergeantpoliteness74 (6/19/2008 8:51:09 PM): that on top of BS with my mom has fucked with me this week havent wanted to talk abou5t it...just tried to stay focused on new job and shit SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:51:17 PM): yeah SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:51:28 PM): well tell yer mom back teh fuck off flat out SnowVhit3 (6/19/2008 8:51:34 PM): n ignore yer dad
SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:53:17 PM): u use smileys wayyyyy 2 much heh sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:53:50 PM): im addicatecto smilys lol sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:53:54 PM): hahah sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:54:03 PM): brb sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:54:07 PM): : sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:54:10 PM): lulz SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:54:17 PM): cant c them i disabled smileys sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:54:25 PM): lol sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:55:02 PM): then how did u know they were there? hmmmmmm? sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:55:04 PM): hahah SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:55:13 PM): it shows up as text dumbass sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:55:43 PM): ok smartass SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:59:08 PM): you’re disabling the graphical representation of the code. If a contact sends you an instant message containing an emoticon, you see the emoticon’s code instead of the graphic. SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:59:10 PM): ayuh SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:59:20 PM): werd nigger sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:59:36 PM): does it matter? who fucking cares? SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:59:44 PM): i care SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 3:59:49 PM): its annoying sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 3:59:56 PM): i dont care about it SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:00:04 PM): well good 4 u SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:00:18 PM): u dont pay my bills sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:00:25 PM): ok... SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:00:26 PM): if i dont want emoticons im not gonna c em sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:00:37 PM): epic win sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:01:19 PM): its a non issue if you dont like smiley faces i will put it it on the long list of things i am not allowed to do sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:02:50 PM): what the hell is wrong? sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:03:30 PM): im donig EVERYthing i can for u but your pissed off at me all the time sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:03:33 PM): why? sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:04:36 PM): ok.. i was just wanting to know SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:04:36 PM): eh? SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:04:44 PM): im not pissed off all the time SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:04:50 PM): im just tired of smileys SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:05:03 PM): then u come back acting like an ass with a bunch of smileys sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:05:04 PM): then just say that its not a big deal sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:05:14 PM): i was kidding with you gawd SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:05:17 PM): it annoys me sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:05:20 PM): ok SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:05:39 PM): im not gonna lie n say its not a big deal cuz if it annoys me im gonna say it str8 up sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:05:50 PM): then say it SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:06:02 PM): i fkn did nigger open up yer ears SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:06:12 PM): or eyes in this case cuz i said it with sum text sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:08:25 PM): i dont want to argue SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:08:31 PM): were not sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:08:37 PM): ok sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:09:04 PM): i went out and got that webcam cuz you wanted me to get one SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:09:14 PM): i know SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:11:19 PM): u just got a new name SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:11:33 PM): stemnigger chan SnowVhit3 (6/21/2008 4:11:39 PM): heh sergeantpoliteness74 (6/21/2008 4:11:41 PM): lol
Gallery[edit]
Peekaboo
"no fucking lie i have a real batarang"
Sock smokes in every video to try and butch up.
You may notice a slight contrast between Alysson Hannigan and SnowVhite.
The scourge of YouTube. All 95 pounds of him.
Mike's swanky pad in the Knoxville projects.
teh Sockomobile
Captain Save-A-Ho[edit]
Perhaps the lulziest thing about Snow's chatlogs are the parts where we get to see how Snocko thinks of themselves. If ever there was a case of highly deluded unwarranted self importance, this is it.
- Socko, teh internet Batman:
sergeantpoliteness74 (7/8/2008 10:41:18 PM): im here to protect and help you and yours Veronica SnowVhit3 (7/8/2008 10:41:19 PM): whoa
- Srsly lol
sergeantpoliteness74 (7/25/2008 9:01:52 PM): also i wanted u to get on user plane to prove to you no fucking lie i have a real batarang sergeantpoliteness74 (7/25/2008 9:02:02 PM): swear to god, sharp , metal SnowVhit3 (7/25/2008 9:02:09 PM): okies sergeantpoliteness74 (7/25/2008 9:02:17 PM): lol ill show it too you somtime ,
- The jealous e-boyfriend:
SnowVhit3 (7/8/2008 10:13:04 PM): jack was just on his video talking about how he wanted to see my v jay jay pix sergeantpoliteness74 (7/8/2008 10:13:29 PM): thats BS SnowVhit3 (7/8/2008 10:13:34 PM): i think jack knows they r fakes sergeantpoliteness74 (7/8/2008 10:13:35 PM): jack should stfu sergeantpoliteness74 (7/8/2008 10:13:48 PM): i think he does sergeantpoliteness74 (7/8/2008 10:14:00 PM): just talking BS
- Internet tough guy syndrome in action:
sergeantpoliteness74 (7/12/2008 10:40:03 AM): also myboss is pissed at me cuz i one starred that stupid vannprimes vid LOL sergeantpoliteness74 (7/12/2008 10:40:12 AM): and cuz i attacked weatherman SnowVhit3 (7/12/2008 10:40:25 AM): myboss doesnt know the level of danger he is dealing with
sergeantpoliteness74 (7/12/2008 11:04:38 AM): i think it might be time to attack all of YT sergeantpoliteness74 (7/12/2008 11:04:43 AM): all the sheep sergeantpoliteness74 (7/12/2008 11:04:51 AM): set fire to all of them SnowVhit3 (7/12/2008 11:04:51 AM): yup i thinkn so 2 SnowVhit3 (7/12/2008 11:05:02 AM): call out all the bitches sergeantpoliteness74 (7/12/2008 11:05:17 AM): myboss, pirates guld, ytyc, troy, serson, all of them sergeantpoliteness74 (7/12/2008 11:05:26 AM): and skull SnowVhit3 (7/12/2008 11:05:28 AM): i agree
- The Master Class Troll:
SnowVhit3 (7/20/2008 3:56:20 PM): b4 i ever believed an acct was real or not i always got confirmation on messy lol sergeantpoliteness74 (7/20/2008 3:56:25 PM): bebe im gonna say somthing conceited..here we go sergeantpoliteness74 (7/20/2008 3:56:38 PM): I AM a master class troll LOL
- They own the tubes:
sergeantpoliteness74 (7/21/2008 4:55:25 PM): way I am feeling now? sergeantpoliteness74 (7/21/2008 4:55:34 PM): we OWN these tubes, lol SnowVhit3 (7/21/2008 4:55:48 PM): yup SnowVhit3 (7/21/2008 4:55:49 PM): lol SnowVhit3 (7/21/2008 4:55:55 PM): all these tubes r belong 2 us lol sergeantpoliteness74 (7/21/2008 4:56:04 PM): yup, lol
- Tough talk:
sergeantpoliteness74 (7/23/2008 8:36:48 PM): had to delete docs off my channel sergeantpoliteness74 (7/23/2008 8:36:52 PM): posted this SnowVhit3 (7/23/2008 8:37:02 PM): dox r everywhere gah sergeantpoliteness74 (7/23/2008 8:37:09 PM): thisismyaccount01 (19 seconds ago) Show Hide Marked as spam Reply | Remove the name is real.. I know who the person is, I have no clue who the docs belong too. they are not his. therefore to prevent you assclowms from dropping more innocent people into this, all docs i have never seen before are gone. offer still stands, you get mine? i post them
Needless to say, when the Master Class Troll did finally get doxed, he didn't post them. He double-suicided with SnowVhite. Again. lol
Internet Romeo[edit]
After months and months of dramatic e-love PDA's on YouTube, Yahoo IM, Myspace, Mobog, Glowfoto, Userplane, and several other websites noone cares about, SnowVhite and the TheSockDetective finally met up IRL to form Mecha-Snocko. Much to Snow's dismay, she also found out first hand that she wasn't the only one afflicted with internet disease in the hizzayzay. Apparently in their months and months of internet and phone conversations, Michael somehow conveniently forgot to tell Veronica that he only has six teeth. Other topics that escaped discussion were: that he has no job; his mommy pays his rent, car insurance, and cell phone bills; and that he likes to suck on women's toes while he faps to them. In a blinding epiphany, it all suddenly came together for Snow as to why Michael hadn't gotten laid in the past 10 years. Despite the early firing off of SOS emails on Myspace, it would be two and a half months and several domestic violence calls later before Veronica would be able to escape from Knoxville.
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Socko Returns As Johnny[edit]
Sometime late last year in 2009, an account going by the name of Johnny appeared all over the tubes. It wasn't long before it was discovered to be none other than the king of emo himself, Micheal Mills. He quickly found himself in a little flame war with another YouTube nut case: samtomology. During this time, the group known as L.I.W. was created. However, the group was nothing more than a few insignificant people and over 9000 a couple dozen of Michael's sock accounts.
Michael Mills tried to steal the heart of a middle-aged woman who exaggerates the amount of power and importance she has and goes by the name of K00lAIDGIRL.
It wasn't long till the emo fucked over his new group of friends and started to sleep with people he used to troll him self. Socko has made it his life's mission on the nets to bring down Encyclopedia Dramatica and White Knight for anyone who has their own article.
Doxx[edit]
- Michael Wayne Mills
- Caprice Apartments Apt. #11
- 2809 Valley View Drive
- Knoxville, TN 37917
- cell (423) 736 6159
Socko's Mom:
- Lee Mills AKA Velma Bacon AKA Velma Lee Mills
- 2615 Fish Hatchery Rd
- Morristown, TN 37813
Related Articles[edit]
See Also[edit]
- Failure
- Idiot
- Internet tough guy
- Not gay
- Pedophile
- Smugfag
- Sock Person
- Sock Puppet
- Ugly
- Unwarranted self-importance
External Links[edit]
- TheGothicReaper also definitely not him
- WeathermanIsEvil definitely NOT cocko, you guys
- TheSockDetectiveFTW forgot the password FTW
- mmills74 before Michael learned it was bad to drop your own dox
Parodies[edit]
Closed[edit]
- xNoNameRequiredx his most recent account, freshly suicided
- xNoNameNeededx recent faggotry - suicided, but I thought he was winning....?
- SockDetective suicided
- SnowVhite2 also suicided
Suspended[edit]
- TheWebmasterGeneral His new extremely faggot shit account.
- thisismyaccount01 running low on ideas - suicided, but I thought he was owning ppl??
- TheSockDetective banhammered
- RomReturns totally not gay
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TheSockDetective is part of a series on YouTube. |
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