Ariana Grande Massacre
|
| —Have police eliminated Ariana Grande from their inquiries? | ||
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BREAKING NEWS!! IT WAS A CHRISTIAN!!! lol j/k |
| |
|---|---|
| Salman Abedi | |
| Nationality: | Sandwichnigger |
| Highscore | Killed 22, injured 116 |
| Top 25? | Y |
| Style | Muslemming |
| An Hero? | Yes, suicide bomb |
The Ariana Grande Massacre was a happening on 22 May 2017 outside Manchester Arena in Bongistan after a concert by American tartlet Ariana Grande aka Arena Grenade, who was not hurt unfortunately. Over 9,000 people had the bad taste to want to see Ariana Grande on her "Dangerous Woman" Tour, and at least 100 people learned just how dangerous Ariana Grande really is.
After the concert was over, an explosion reportedly happened in the foyer of the arena, in what appears to be a suicide bomb by a Muslim robot, with "nuts and bolts flying everywhere", possibly a nail bomb. Sources say a bomb went "bang bang into the room" and "bang bang all over you."
The massacre was the biggest terrorist high score in Bongistan since 52 people were killed in London in 2005. Source say that guilt-ridden Muslim taxi cab drivers offered free rides to people after the concert.
Sources say that Twitter accounts linked to ISIS mentioned Manchester before the attack happened. The attack appears to be an effort by ISIS to redpill Britfags who voted against Brexit on the true nature of multiculturalism and Islam, which everyone knows is a religion of peace™ (and mostly pieces).
Contents
Manchester in early 2017[edit]
In late January 2017, over 9,000 people marched in London to protest The Donald's travel ban on 7 Mudslime countries, and chanted "refugees welcome here" and "Theresa May, shame on you." There were also large demonstrations in Edinburgh, Cardiff, and Birmingham. A 24-year-old Britfag named Dean Smith 
organized a protest in Manchester, in opposition to The Donald's planned Muslim travel ban in Amerilard. Liz Parker of Manchester said "We don’t care if someone is a Muslim or a Christian or what colour their skin is. We just want to live in harmony with the human race." Julia Steinberg✡ of Manchester said "Trump is Islamophobic." Two months before the concert massacre, on 18 March, 2017, there was a event in London "Manchester Coaches to UN Anti Racist Demo in London" on UN Anti-Racism Day, with "refugees and migrants welcome" to stand up to racism, Islamophobia, and anti-Semitism. And now we know how that all turned out.
Suspect identified[edit]
The bomber was one Salman Abedi. Police are baffled as to his background, upbringing, and motive. Turns out he was already known to MI5, having been reported several times over the last few years by concerned acquaintances. And his dad is the head of the security task force in Libya, where Abedi recently took an unexplained vacation.
All this points in one direction. No Jews were in the vicinity when the bomb went off. Therefore Jews did Ariana Grande.
Responses[edit]
Britfag singfag Morrissey was having a pleasant birthday party until he learned of the Ariana Grande Massacre. He took to Cuntbook on 23 May 2017 and asked "For what reason will this ever stop?" He criticized UK Prime Minister Theresa May, who lives "in a bullet-proof bubble", and the Muslim mayor of London Sadiq Khan for not condemning ISIS, and even the bloody Queen of England for not canceling a garden party at Buckingham Palace, and the mayor of Manchester Andy Burnham for saying the attack was by an extremist (but leaving out Muslim, or a child of refugees from Libya, etc). Milo✡ reacted predictably to the post and said "Amen." Paul Joseph Watson said "Morrissey is the only 'celebrity' with the balls to tell the truth."
Quotes[edit]
| —The guy who sang the Charmed theme song, Failbook, | ||
Gallery[edit]
Fanmail
Glowing reviews
Arena Grenade
Brianna Wu's next level of delusion
He's right and you know it.
High Score[edit]
| Graded Score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 23/20 Still too low for a venue with low security measures. |
| Accuracy: | 5/20 Amateurish "fish in a barrel"-style carnage |
| Style: | 10/20 Marks deducted for sitting through the whole concert first |
| Butthurt: | 18/20 Additional marks for inflicting Liam Gallagher's ego on the UK again |
| Bonus: | 20/20 First successful suicide bombing with casualties after a massive event in the UK |
| Total Score: 76/100 (C) | |
See full ranking
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See also[edit]
External Links[edit]
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| Featured article May 23 & 24, 2017 | ||
| Preceded by Saudi Arabia |
Ariana Grande Massacre | Succeeded by ISIS |
