Manchild
A manchild (see also basement dweller) is an adult male who refuses to accept the responsibilities of adulthood and chooses instead to live as if they were a young child, in other words you. It is also a known fact that 99.99% of manchildren are furries, and have hard-ons for Sonic the Hedgehog and colorful cartoon ponies. Naturally, this means that they are gigantic faggots, and invariably furfags.
This is always the result of a "serious mental handicap". As in, they are too fucking lazy and socially inept to get a job.
It is interesting to note that manchildren, as their name suggest, are always male and that there is no such thing as a 'womanchild'. This is because women are children. Indeed, the qualities that make manchildren so pathetic (childishness, naïveté, sexual inexperience) are generally considered positive, attractive qualities in women by men and because society considers it acceptable that women are allowed to be parasites that do nothing but laze around at home for the rest of their lives.
Contents
Etiology[edit]
Children are increasingly molded by gross societal negligence, piss poor parenting practices, regressive educational requirements inferior gene pools and overzealous marketing endeavors. Largely stemming from "Generation Barney", children of the 90s were taught early on that failure was perfectly acceptable and even rewarded for it. Starting with the "No Child Left Behind" stupidity, kids were suddenly reduced to the level of the "lowest common denominator" of the classroom, given A+'s for having an "A"ttitude that was "+" positive, it insidiously became imperative to make kids as happy as possible and with as little disappointment than it was to actually educate them in any constructive, useful manner.
Kids were taught that it is "okay" to be a basement dwelling welfare leach so long as they were happy and had a good attitude about it as it's not their fault anyway. They were taught that it was "okay" to wet the bed past the age of 5, yielding an increased demand on baby diapers that were put on the market last thursday that would have been completely shameful in decades past. Fast food happy meals were likewise super sized, not because kids were actually eating more, but simply because they kept on ordering the baby meals well into their tweens and teens.
Our society has since degenerated into a form of super acceptance, to the point where failure itself is something to be celebrated and standards of acceptable behavior have downgraded to a near infantile level. Creative new medical conditions and disorders have likewise been confabulated, permitting parents to raise "unique" little disease-bags rather than real children. Mommy's little malady, daddy's little disorder, it has become literally in vogue to have a "special" child with a "special" problem, upon which any failures or generally shitty behavior can be labeled with a convenient, all encompassing excuse.
Symptoms[edit]
The subject in question may exhibit many of these classic symptoms:
- Collecting metric tons of nostalgic toys.
- Choosing to watch cartoons and television shows from their childhood at a time when people of their age should be watching more challenging, intelligent adult programming even though there are cartoons for adults too.
- Reading comic books or tie-in novelizations of popular movie franchises aimed at children as opposed to high literature.
- Singing like a child.
- Inability or refusal to get a job.
- Asperger's syndrome.
- Virginity.
- Absence of friends that aren't on the Internet.
- Living at home despite being well into their thirties.
- Erectile Dysfunction.
- Hoarding.
- Hating everything made after the 1990s or any decade before the 1990s.
- Bruised penis head from having the toilet seat fall on it while they pee.
- Collecting VHS tapes and other shitty outdated movie formats
- Using GoAnimate
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Stages[edit]
- Fagolescence: Adults who act like teenagers
- Olchai: Adults who act like children.
- Adult babies: Adults who act like babies.
Variants[edit]
Generally there are two types of manchildren, the emotionally unstable drama whore type and the flippant, fun loving, lazy bastard type. The former make for excellent trolling due to the fact that they'll blow up over the slightest little thing, often have great difficulty controlling their emotions and are generally prone to acting out with little inhibition; most often due to lack of recognizing the potential consequences and outcomes of social situations.
More often than not they tend to float over in the aspie end of the spectrum, while the later category tend to be apathetic, carefree neurotypicals who generally don't take anything seriously...at all. Trolling or flaming that type is not recommended, they'll simply laugh it off, poke fun at you for not acting like them and due to their complete inability to take anything seriously (least of all themselves), any attempted attack or troll will fail before it has even begun.
Examples[edit]
Interest Groups and Communities[edit]
- All Liberal neckbeards.
- All Enterbots
- All VHS collectors
- All Republican politicians.
- All Bronies and Furries.
- Everyone in North Korea.
Celebrities[edit]
- Adam Sandler — the most immature actor in existence and has butt buddies like Kevin James, Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Denis Dugan.
- Amy Schumer — a painfully unfunny hambeast, SJW, pro-Hillary "comedian" whose goal is to steal jokes. She is also butt buddies with Lena Dunham, Sarah Silverman, and Leslie Jones.
- John Kricfalusi — creator of Ren and Stimpy.
- Larry the Cable Guy — an unfunny comedian catered to autistics that tries to be a redneck christian, but isn't.
- Lauren Faust — creator of My Little Pony; the merchant feminist equivalent of John K — But was it her fault for starting the brony phenomenon?
- Lena Dunham — some painfully unfunny tryhard comedian, a Pro-Hillary supporter, an SJW, a girl sucking up to Sarah Silverman, Amy Schumer, Dane Cook, and Jeff Dunham, and a child molester.
- Leslie Jones — speaking of Pro-Hilary pedophiles, the same person; but a fat black tryhard from that Fembusters film that Sony and Paul Feig pulled out of their tumblr asses. She screeched and ragequit by baleeting a shitload of racist and gorilla tweets which made 4chan in complete lulz.
- Michael Jackson — obviously.
Internet Kooks[edit]
- Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto — troll shielding furfag and proud owner of a massive six inch foxdick.
- Alex Mae Muholland — an autistic 18-year old girl who has obsessions of fapping to middle aged man and gets easily triggered over people hating her crushes.
- Benthelooney — a 26-year old pedophile who draws Hi-Hi Puffy AmiYumi and My Little Pony porn on deviantART. Hates everything made after the 1990s. [1]
- BrandontheMovieGuy — a 90s kid and basically the Rabid Anti-Brony version of MrEnter and worships Matthew Davis like a god.
- Caseydecker — A 33-year old manchild who is also a pedophile.
- Chris Chan — the notorious autistic lolcow who defines the word manchild.
- Dan Lirette — yet another immature, gullible, brain dead baby and devout Christian.
- Darknessthecurse — an edgelord Sonicfag who will assrape his fans for not listening to his advice, and claims that he was in a hospital when his JewTube was deleted... and his video game reviews are the bratty nu metal version of UrinatingTree, minus the creativity and with additional literal tryhard unfunny humor, that to this day hasn't changed since over 10 years and some change.
- Eric Abramov — a morbidly obese Soviet Russian greedy merchant converted to some typical Christian extremist reading on the bible, as well as talking about WWE; though he is known for eating a shitload of video game consoles; including the Shitcube. Also, he might actually be a more top kek version of Angry Video Game Nerd. ...or he is?
- Erik "Tazman" Mokracek — An autistic 38-year-old manchild who is a pedophile, but claims he's neither one. He lives in New Jersey with his mother and sister, and has a fetish for animated kids, junk food, etc.
- InSaNe-REYNARD — a furry bondage fetishist with a major case of narcissistic personality disorder.
- JustinRPG — self-proclaimed husband of the Pokémon Reshiram
- Kelly Hallissey — some middle-aged basement dweller bratty aspie cunt who got butthurt over AOL, so she ended up suing the company, resulting to quit the company and forever be unemployed, as well having stalkers.
- Kevin Havens — an inbred retard with an unhealthy sex doll obsession.
- LifeInATent — a guy who thumbed up for a Japanese earthquake.
- Mariotehplumber — a Sonicfag that hates modern Sonic.
- Meta527II — a retarded YouTuber that makes autistic meme videos, and is a big fanfag of Nintendo and Disney
- Michael Batton — a janitor who militantly attacks anyone who pokes fun at the Superbowl, while filing fraudulent copyright claims against his critics and spreading lies about people who don't say what he wants them to say.
- MonkeyGameGuides — a 21-year old British assfuck who complains about anything that is NOT Call of Duty.
- MysteriousMrEnter — a bitchy moron who likes to review SpongeBob episodes.
- Onigojirakaiju — a bipolar hating faggot who masturbates to Godzilla porn.
- PhantomStrider8 — a huge enterbot that just like MrEnter hates Teen Titans Go and 2016 Powerpuff Girls with a passion and has the same opinions as MrEnter.
- Quinton Reviews — a nu-male manchild with boring as hell content, an obvious hate boner against Mumkey Jones and Donald Trump, steals material from people like EmpLemon, YMS, Mr. Enter, ralphthemoviemaker, RebelTaxi, AniMat, Fredrik Knudsen, Turkey Tom, LS Mark, Angry Video Game Nerd, Guru Larry, Internet Historian, among other, and worships other soyboys like Stephen Colbert, Mundane Matt, Egoraptor, Brie Larson, Lindsay Ellis, Bob Chipman, Crash Thompson, Jim Sterling, Dan Olson, Tony Goldmark, Nash, and Spoony.
- Richard Kuta — the very definition of a manchild and also likes to wear diapers.
- Sailormoonred1 — a mentally disabled man who plays with Sailor Moon and Jim Varney dolls.
- SammyClassicSonicFan — a teenage autistic screeching bratty Sonicfag who ragequits everything and gets seriously hotheaded over trolls, critics, and haters over classic and modern Sonic.
- Sony-Mae — a rare example of a female of this species.
- Spax3 — a Sonic-obsessed furry who likes teh lolsuits.
- Timbox — a lolcow who jerks off to Asian kids. The next Chris-chan.
- The Unknown Autobot — a Whovian, brony and furfag who also claims to be a trollbuster.
- Tom Preston — a lonely middle aged "artist" who's into inflation, pedo yuri and Social Justice bullshit.
- ToonEGuy — CGI-hating 30-something who regularly threatens Disney employees and other animators for not making cartoons like they did in the 90s.
- Tranime Girl — 36-year old weeaboo, diaper fetishist tranny and radical feminist "ally".
- Valis77 — a 41-year-old registered sex offender that's obsessed with shitty old video games. Is also a black person.
Gallery[edit]
Parenting is often used as a convenient excuse to act like an overgrown toddler.
Many manchildren don't give a fuck, making verbal attacks ill advised.
Pokemons is srs business!
Don't give in to peer pressure!
Manchild warning sign.
The manchild Adam Sandler in the movie "Billy Madison" acting like a little kid by playing with shampoo and conditioner in the bathtub.
See also[edit]
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Manchild is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
| Manchild is part of a series on Dying Alone
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