Emo
| —Emo cunt's reaction to trolling | ||
Emo or emofag or emowhore was a movement from the 2000's which was an attempt to make normal teenage angst cool (a competition to win a pretension on this "my life sucks more than yours" contest). While everyone around them is also suffering from hormones and High School, they try to convince everyone that their suffering is somehow original. To break away from their normal suffering, followers of emo wear t-shirts of shitty bands like My Chemical Romance, ridiculously bright jeans, taking photos of themselves with a phone and uploading it on their Instagram account talking to strangers, growing a long fringe of freakishly long ass bangs to help warp their vision of the world. Sometimes they also might even dye it black. Otherwise they'll dye it blond for some reason or white because Gerard Way did had his hair white when he ejaculated on his hair from getting jacked off by his father. This vision causes the emos to insult people who are actually depressed IRL by making a fad of feigning their own dire depression. Emo music consists of insane amounts of lyrics about the greatness of being in the emo style and the terror of not having hawt emo girl want to fuck you. Emo can be short for emotionally fucked up. Some emo songs deviate slightly, encouraging male listeners to "Ahhh, c'mon, FUCK A GUY!"
Conclusive scientific evidence proves that emos are even more contagious and worse than niggas, beaners and kikes combined. And that says something. At concerts, emos stand in place and watch the band play with their arms crossed, tossing their hair out of their eyes and sucking on their lip piercings and putting their hands in their jean pockets liek WHAT THE FVCK1!!!!
They all think they suffer from severe narcissism, leading them to believe that they alone know what pain is, and that no one understands them, when in fact they are simply experiencing puberty; just like everyone else is. They all believe that their personal affliction could not be worse, that their life in their quiet suburban house with their own television and computer in their room is not just the worst life they could have, but the worst life anyone has had, ever. No one understands me!!! Some also think they're TOUGH AND BURLY because they enjoy pain. For others it's cause they born with psychotic mental disorders after listening to the doctor. They think of the illness as a satanic curse that makes them think they're real life demons where they see no little good in themselves (Not that they try.) to continue out a path with change and let big meanie words give them reason enough to off themselves and be true heroes instead of the edged out story of a freak of nature.
Basically, an emo kid is a virgin twat who takes denial of his/her unattractiveness to a new extreme. - He/she turns walking around in Petsmart into personal pride. When a hot girl tells him to fuck off, instead of being pissed that he's not scoring, the average emofag is actually glad that he got rejected - since that must mean he's sensitive, more mature than other guys, or just special in general. Plus it provides him fodder for his rape fantasies.
If by some chance an emofag actually manages to get a date however, then he'll be pissed since he won't have any reason to bitch or play the victim that day.
The principle of emodom is "The more you bitch about no one liking you, the more no one will like you." Emos tend to cut themselves on the forearms just because it is the done thing for an emo. Unfortunately, emo's are the biggest pussies in the universe, so they just about never get it right. Alternatively, emo's declare small cuts gained from attempting to rape their cats as proof they are hardcore cutters. In reality, however, most are simply too pussy to even go near a razor, let alone cut themselves with it.
Emos get tremendous shit in the country infested with beaners, where members of other beaner subcultures are prone to beating up emos for the sole reason that their whiny, conformist faggotry makes them justifiable targets. Emos also might try hard to confuse emo with goths, and in some cases if you're an emo kid like Justin Beaner, you want to be a prep.
Contents
Origins[edit]
Emos (singular being spic language for "I buy") wear shirts of bands like My Chemical Romance and Senses Fail, and they have studded belts, eye-burning jeans and freakishly long bangs. They hide and want to be alone because they are too much of a faggot to contact anyone, which is partly contributed from the Jewish trait of Jew criticism. Also, they feel that their flaws are immediately visible from just their presence (another trait passed down from the Jews, who are very superficial people).
Depending on the person, the emo also can be a shitty poseur of a goth, itself a shitty offshoot of a punk, which is a crappy offshoot of a metalhead, which is inferior to a prep. HA HA DISREGARD THAT THEY SUCK COX TOO!
If an emo is or has done any of the following, he or she will become more inclined to ending it all in a suicidal way:
- They wish they had been physically abused in the past since they never got chugged by a pedophile or were a prison punk sex partner in jail.
- They were cruelly forced to take out the trash or do other hard physical labor.
- They have been made fun of over the internets if they ever were shoving their cox in another motherfucker's ass
- They have been confused with a goth.(However if they're a Justin Bieber wannabe they are just a preppy emo)
- They've had their tumblr poetry criticized.
- They say that no one understands them and that they know the truth behind the world.
- They've made out with someone of the same gender and swear up and down they're straight.
- They've had their iPods stolen by poser-punx who love Avril Lavigne.
- They have been sexually molested by their parents.
- They cut their skin off or do other self harm activities to look TUFF.
- They most of all are attention whores
Prehistoric emos[edit]
1980s[edit]
In the 1980s, emo kids were just a bunch of people who thought they were punk rock and would listen to bands like Rites of Spring, who had a singer with fuzzy ass eyebrows. So then Ian MacKaye, the jocky frontman from Minor Threat wanted to become an emofag, too and formed Embrace. Since kids even called these guys "emocore", Ian got extremely butthurt over that term used at his band. But it's good that someone yelled that at him at a gig. Basically just a bunch of Minor Threat/Black Flag/etc fantards started running around in their concert joining the emo style. This leads to how emo became a big disease spreading among teens to become attention whores who try to look K00L AID OH YEA by competing with each other on who has the most shittiest life or is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOner.
1990s[edit]
In the 1990s, when the punk-wannabe type of emo bands died, suddenly a bunch of emos decided to try to sound like Nirvana, the Smashing Pumpkins, Hole and others, while others decided to try being like Green Day and the Ramones remaining a punk-wannabe band. But then hipsters appeared as well with their gay indie music as well some hardcore fags decided that "HEY LET'S TAKE THE POWERVIOLENCE SOUND AND USE THE EMO LYRICS AND SHIT!" So they decided to make screamo and a bunch of geeks and hipsters with glasses, t-shirts, sweater vests and weird ass chucks decided to make a bunch of screechy noise with their recording of their terrorist attacks and bombing and their screaming to represent people getting castrated. These geeks and hipsters decided to make screamo but called it "skramz" because they were too much of a fucking ASS-PIE to know how to spell "scrams". They also called it "emoviolence" because they were emo nerds who loved terrorism and also helped Al Qaeda perform 9/11.
Typical Skramz Song[edit]
- Soft guitars and quietness
- Drummer on redbull, drumming like his ass is getting tickled, guitarist makes noise and bombs the city and records it and you can't hear the bass
- Vocalist appears
- YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR KAKAKASKAKKAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHYYHYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAA!!!
- ALLAH UAKBAR! BOOM BOOM BOOM! YEAH WE'RE FUCKING MUZZIES!!!!!!!
- Song ends; 30-100 seconds of screechy noise
Git 'em young[edit]
In an interesting trend, young teenagers have begun adopting the emo mantra as their new Jesus, even though they will rarely cut themselves. They enjoy the thrill of straightening the straggly mop that rests atop their head and wearing tons of makeup to cover their pimple-ridden pubescent faces. They take black-and-white pictures of themselves and define themselves as "misunderstood" on their Instagram, Facebook, LiveJournal, tumblr or Bebo pages. Their usernames usually consist of serious descriptions of how they truly feel inside and are usually encased in a variety of symbols e.g. xXDarknessSurroundsXx, ^^)MyAngelCries(^^, X+LoveLikeFire+X. Many think that turning emo will instantly turn them hot.
The common path to emo generally follows these steps:
- They have a happy cheerful Carebear Facebook profile up until they're 12.
- One of their fat friends gets depressed and makes an emo tumblr.
- 12 year old friend sees this and goes OMG TAHTS SU KEWL!!11 and copies them.
- They straighten their disgusting hair that they haven't washed in 3 months, put on a lot of makeup that might make them look like clown/raccoon and take pictures on Instagram.
- Post with comments like "NOONE UNDERSTANDZ ME!!11 M I DESTIND 2 NEVR FYND LUV???"
- After getting a ton of attention saying "aww hunny dont wory im here 4 u :)", they start complaining about EVERYTHING.
- Become an hero.
- Listen to My Necropedophilic Romance, Dashboard Cumfessional, Fall Out Boy, Rites of Spring or maybe Hawthorne Heights
- Take the cigarette and get it smoked, then rub the lit end on your skin.
- Get the blade, cut off some of ya skin, and go "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
- Be a hipster
- PROFIT!
| —nic, please try harder | ||
Current Situation[edit]
The current incarnation of emo has basically replaced all other teenage culture (read gays and little/teenage girls who went crazy over the boybands) as the dominant one. The slightly faded "vintage" clothing and track suits are available at any mall and often displayed in tandem with the most mainstream wares. Because the accouterments and garb are very easy and cheap to obtain, it makes the style accessible to you. In earlier times emo was a generally male-dominated subculture with very few females observed at shows and events (mostly because all present looked like girls anyway). Now, however, due to the ease of obtainment of the requisite style items, many females have become involved in the subculture. Please see the gallery below for several illustrations of typical specimens. There may be no easily discernible differences between the standard teenager and someone involved in the emo scene.
Often, participants are referred to as "emo kids," "emofags," just "fags," or any combination of these. Rednecks often refer to the participants simply as "wrist-cuttin' hippies". Normal people often say that "emo" is short for "gay trannys that listen to bad music". Everyone else calls them "failures at life".
Emo kids are a common plague on sites such as tumblr, Facebook, Bebo and YouTube as these sites offer the perfect digital mediums for them to display their tormented souls to the world.
EmoTube[edit]
Previous Video | Next Video |
stfu stfu STFU
The True Meaning of Being Emo[edit]
Emo over the ages[edit]
Emo has had a long history in many forms, from the crackers in Europe, to the niggers, to the flappers, to the Nazis, to even the early Beatniks (named after the constant beatings they would receive) to all up into today's contemporary emo kids:
| ERA: | EMO KIDS WERE: | DRUG OF CHOICE: |
|---|---|---|
| 1790's-1820's | French Revolutionists | Execution by beheading, European conquest, overthrowing governments |
| 1920's | Flappers | Shit, Dead Animals, Sweat, Reefers, Jazz |
| 1930's | Nazis | Hitler, Cracker Pride, killing kikes |
| 1940's | Nips | Hirohito, killing everyone else, eating gold dust every morning during sunrise, Kamekaze Banzai Harakiri soo Kawaii (ALL DRUGS TAKEN IN EXACT ORDER) |
| 1950's | Beatniks | Poetry, Bongo Drums, Pot, USI, Elvis Presley |
| 1960's | Hippies | Pot, Acid, Pot, Librium, Seconal, Pot, Napalm |
| 1970's | Disco | Cocaine, Dexies, Bennies, Valium, Fags, Grass |
| 1980's | New Romantics | Cocaine, Anal Sex, Herb, punk |
| 1990's | Grunge | Heroin, Ecstasy, Flannel, Starbucks Coffee, Prozac, Weed, Shotgun Mouthwash, terrorism, punk, nerd, screamo |
| 2000's | Emos, pop punk | Ritalin, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, NyQuil, Robitussin, Rispiridone, Weed, Gay sex |
| 2010's | Hipsters (or alternatively, 100% idiotic, pointless faggotry), crunkcore, glamfag, nerd, prep, Justin Bieber | Indie music/film, thrift store clothing, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Irony, Michael Cera, Pitchfork Media, KISS, heavy metal |
Controversy With Emo[edit]
National Emo Kid Beatdown Day[edit]
Russia declares war![edit]
Shortly before Russia invaded South Ossetia, legislation was drafted that would end the cancer that is killing Russia once and for all. Butthurt emos across Russia protested with angsty and heartfelt slogans like "Kill the state in yourself" and "A totalitarian state encourages stupidity." Much to their chagrin, the emos' secret ties to the Nazis have been exposed by the Russian government.
tumblr emo kids[edit]
tumblr is the primary breeding ground of pure gay emo faggotry. It is not yet known why so many people devote so much time looking at pure shit. Studies have shown that David Karp, the founder of tumblr has PEDO POWERS that cause all 16-year-old girls to sign up to his site. It is obvious that these sort of sites would appeal to emos, as it lets them bleat on about how miserable their pampered fucking suburban lives are and expect people to actually give a shit. Although nothing has yet been proven, preliminary results show that David emits a special type of gamma ray that makes gay emo fag girls horny. Another theory is that David is Adolf Hitler, and that using tumblr is similar to wearing the Jew identification badges Hitler used.
Common emo behavior[edit]
- Trying to BAWWWW because they fail at life.
- Taking self portrait pictures.
- Having hair that is significantly longer in front and stupidly combed by your mom.
- Cutting themselves
a piece of cakeon the skin, - Moar BAWWWW to gain attention. It manages to get friends, family, and the emos own skank whores to leave them dying alone from yelling outrageously for the shittiest of reasons they will no longer have the need to care about and save more money for important matters than going about it the most expensive way at hospitals with the jewish currency. This is perhaps one of the smartest deals if they needn't want to deal with a produced defect of the genepool.
- Attention whore
- tumblr
- Attending art school in hopes of being someone important.
- Wearing pants that are untittyfuckingfathomably bright and seizure-inducing.
- Threatening to become an hero but usually never following through.
- Writing trite poetry about pain.
- Reading poetry in the first place.
- Constantly on tumblr.
- Getting lip piercings.
- Same thing as number 4
- Taking too many pictures of themselves looking at their phone
- Using ".!" instead of just "." when typing.!
- Joining 'attention whore' groups on Facebook to brag about their 'depression'.
- Getting condoms and placing it over the wrong head in order to receive attention.
- Bragging about how miserable and unfair their life is.
- Diagnosing themselves with Asperger's syndrome. And
probablydefinitely being right. - Same as number 4
- Getting eating disorders and bragging about it.
- Posting at The Cave of Dragonflies.
- Same as a number 4
- Ruining every user-contributor-based website ever.
- Making an account on Encyclopedia Dramatica so they can try to delete this page then get br00t4lly raped by the ED government and banned for an expiry time of infinite.
- Piercing their lip again, and probably their vagina (if they're a girl) or their ass to prevent anal itching, but nobody wants to see that.
- Taking themselves more seriously than Wikipedia.
- Over exaggerating their 'emotions' for sympathy/attention
- Insulting people who suffer from depression by trivializing and over-exaggerating what they've "gone through". This typically consists of a lengthy, self-centered rant about one's computer crashing, after which the individual loses all their hard-earned 'music'.
- Stealing just about every Weaboo cliques, like anime and J-rock, and just about every shit clique from the 80s and 90s. Of course, they're doing absolutely all wrong.
- Taking it up the ass.
- Asking for ass whooping
- Did we mention trying to BAWWWW like in number 4?
- Indoctrinating black person into 'nemos' (Nigger emos).
- Listening to My Chemical Romance
- Also, they tend to BAWWW a lot
- They Go On Scrollbelow.com for fun and pleasure - submitted by Wikedkoooool
- They have emo screenames/usernames such as Xx-Emo band name and whatever bullfuck here insertion-xX
- They list all their favorite bands which are emo in a bio or about me box in a website.
- Telling the world that their life is miserable and they cut themselves to feel better.
- Hitler
- Hipster
- ALLAH UAKBAR (Fun fact: emo culture is popular in Mudslime countries like Iran and Indonesia)
- Raging at Fox News for the surprisingly accurate report they did on emo culture
- Covering their hair with their freakishly long bangs.
- Applying eyeliner that makes them look like a raccoon if they try to look goth.
- Please repeat number 4 again and again and again.
Common Fashion of an Emo:[edit]
- Black clothing (if they're trying hard to be a goth)
- Eyeliner that makes them look like raccoons (mostly on gay emos who think they're raccoons)
- Hair over eyes to hide "pain"
- No skin
- 489234723893743567348573456348546357346584638 belts
- Bright ass jeans that fuck up the eye (especially with scene wannabes)
- Hipster/nerd glasses
- My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Jimmy Eats World, Rites of Spring, Senses Fail, Underoath or any other emo band merchandise.
- Ear gauges which are ridiculously big ass fuck
- Justin Bieber hair
- Cum on the hair (If it's white)
- One arm cut off
- Screamo band t-shirt to be a "pure emo"
- Hello Kitty,Invader Zim and Domo shit
- Lip piercings
- Jeans that are WAY too fucking bright.
- If they don't wear pants, they have denim legs
Please refer to the Ofishul Emo Code for a complete list of rulez you must follow to be a true emo.
Answers To Emo Questions[edit]
- Question: If life is fair then why do roses have thorns?
- Answer: Roses don't have thorns. A thorn is a modified branch. What roses have a pricks and you just ruined roses for me because all I can see is your baby prick on rose stems.
Gallery[edit]
How emo fags masturbate
What every larval emo has on their tumblr
Hitler was emo too.
She is for real girls
A sexually frustrated emo.
Pikachu loves me, I knows it.
Every emo picture evar.
Typical emo response on DevianTART
Typical Emo YouTube Profile.
Dubya has emo moments.
An emo will pride itself on ridiculous hair.
She likes to scissor!
Sweet blood splattered photoshop brush, Batman!
The typical emo hot topic lolita outfit
An emo in its larval stage.
Curing Emocephalitis.
Emo: goth for pussies.
Note the fringe.
The War on Emo: Pick a side...we're at war!
My life is, like, this big black abyss.
Fat emo vandal. Note the heavy use of Photoshop filters.
Emo enough?
Taking the emo hairdo to the extreme.
A Typical emo - eyeliner, fringe, looking depressed
Some emus are also emo.
It's often hard to tell the difference between males and females in this breed.
DeviantART-type account.
An emo's response to this page. It quickly got reverted and he is now blocked. Notice how every word is capitalized and the misspellings.
He's at it again, this time less detectable but still as stupid with more misspelled words. Large sections of this page were missing.
A typical emo boy suffering a fit of OMG angst, see self injury.
A typical emo bottom bitch.
This is a girl trying to be a guy.
Common Emo advertising.
And you thought Farrah hair had gone out of style
Typical emo female (AKA "douchette") Dykepals
Emo girl cuts her vagina.
SRSLY... ?
wow, can you even see through those things???
You're doin it wrong!
...At least he thinks he's sexy.
Bean is just a little more depressed "then" others.
They once were twins till along came emo...
Bitch Don't Care Either....
Where's the face?
How it's done.
How it's really done
An example of an emo shirt from the shit ass emo movie A Nightmare Before Christmas.
Wild Emo appears!
This is how the emo before will be in 15 years.
Where's Waldo? version.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Furemo.Kill it with fire not blades
True Emo.
A Typical Emo Band.
Their very own cereal!
A safe alternative to cutting.
An emo in denial about homosexuality.
Emo gangstaz
Common emo ritual.
S0 h4rdc0r3!
All Emos enjoy cutting as they are worthless.
This Emo is also a wiccan.
Evidentially teh emo fags cry green.
A goth teaches an emo how to seppuku.
Dropped a terd, moar like it, amiright?
Those damn azns...
Moar emo bulletins?
Even the furries are getting emo!
Hardcore Emo.
Vegetables are emo too.
All emos are the same.
h4x0r3d.
h4x0r3d.
sometimes an emo needs a good beating.
12 year olds like pretending to be emo.
See?
Emos have taken the Weeaboo's
Jesus died 4 ur sinz.
It's new and its emo!! And it's only $3,000,000,000,000!!!!!!
I add black to my pictures to like, symbolize how gothic I am.
This is a emo!
Emos are huge ass camwhores.
They have a whole town of these fuckers in Ireland
Black Metal fans aren't that different, really.
It is a well known fact that fags and emos HAET each other.
This is what an emo with Assburgers looks like. WHAT IS IT?!
Typical Flickr user probably qualifies as an Emo.
BAWWW IM SAD
If I take it in the dark and take the photo at an angle, it might hide my quadruple chin!
How quaint
Trolling emos on YouTube is easy.
... Especially when they are unaware.
YouTube emo figures out Google.
When emos use MS Paint
Example of the famous emo fringe
Even this kind of intense cutting is highly irregular!.
An Asian Emo Girl
Emos are often sad
See also[edit]
- Attention whore
- BAWWWW
- Chavmo
- Cutting
- EFG- A common reaction to emos.
- Emo Cutter Girl
- Emodad
- Emogame
- Emoscene.com
- Emosexuality
- Emotion Eric
- Grunge
- Guess the Gender
- Hamlet
- I'm so random
- J-emo
- Jeff Weise
- Kate Spade
- Lil Peep
- Miss aveline
- Mixcds
- My Chemical Romance
- National Emo Kid Beatdown Day
- Nevada-tan
- Nu metal
- Operation Yewtube
- Scene
- Suicide Girls
- TCK
- thats not funny my brother died that way
- The polar opposite of emo
- Suicidal Failure
- The Room
- WHEN I WAS
- Secretlyevil9792
- Katelyn Nicole Davis
Moar videos[edit]
- Some dyke chick tells the truth about Emos
- Ian MacKaye butthurt over being called "emocore"
- Video: Goth parodies Emo
- A typical emo song.
Guy pwns an egoistical emo in denial fag.- I must be emo; an emo documentary
Lol, emosDeleted- An Emokiller
- High Priest of the Church of Noemo
YouTube emo troll gets pwned by geek dressed as a Blues Brother
External links[edit]
- The Emo Game Now you can relive a day as a complete wuss and kill sellouts Carson Daly and Fred Durst! And kill yourself afterwards!
- emochan! An entire chan for emos!
- Emo Bucket
- Emo Boys
- Emo Girls
- EmoPuddle
- EmoCorner
- MyEmoHairstyles
- Emo Porn
- 'How to' book of suicide.
- How to go undercover/identify your target!
- The dangers of emo THIS IS SERIOUS, READ IT!
- LOLB& in Soviet Russia. EAT COMMUNISM
- Facebook group of emo kids BAWWWING at being B& in Soviet Russia.
- The only type of good emo girls, naked ones.
- Which one has more faggotry, emo or grunge? Cracked weighs in.
- BEANERS FUCKING EMO KIDS IN MEXICO WITH A KNIFE Good riddance fucking emos
- A hypnotist emo kid on IMVU,< Best to be trolled via PC, Has blocked messages from other users. :( Easily trolled.
- A page full of lunatics and kvlt members. ~_O
- emoforum.org <--Troll here (way too easy)
- Emo PRIDE!
- An angry emo was a ex-admin from DeviantArt due to emo problems with other new admins and a certain artist.
- emoboyfriend.org
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| Emo is part of a series on Education [Go To School]
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| Featured article April 23 and 24, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by ScrewAttack |
Emo | Succeeded by Aush0k |
