Tiziana Cantone

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Tiziana "Bravo" Cantone was originally just your typical narcissist WOP Instagram whore. She spent most of her days in Naples, her native Italian city, sitting online, posting pictures of herself and subsequently rubbing her gaper while reading the constant stream of compliments from beta males and care-kings. While she had more than a handful of admirers, the type she seemed to be particularly interested in, was the cuck. Unfortunately for Tiziana, the man she had been dating at the time was not a cuckold. This was of course, unacceptable, since like any typical italian, she simply had to attempt to go down on every pipe she came across.

So, she did what any woman in her situation would do; Left her boyfriend and started sucking off a new guy named Sergio Di Palo. Sergio, it turns out, was just the kind of man she had been looking for. Not only was he an enthusiastic cuck, but he also enjoyed degrading whores, which would pay dividends for everyone involved! One night in 2015, during one of Tiziana's usual pole smoking sessions, Sergio pulled out his phone and began to record. Undeterred, Tiziana unleashed the quote that would be heard around the world and make her famous for the rest of her life "Mi stai facendo il video? Bravo" which, in non-savage language, translates to "You’re making a video? Good".

In this video, she and Sergio openly mock her EX bf for not being about that cuck life. For added fun, Sergio smacks her about the face several times with his genitalia while she speaks. So "bravo" was this video, that Tiziana allowed herself to be filmed in several more. In one of these videos, she takes on two men at once (both of whom she met on the internet) while Sergio selflessly records it for her.

A Star Is Born[edit]

Completely worth it.

Being the thoughtful person that she was, Tiziana sent these videos to her ex-boyfriend in an attempt to make him butthurt and show him how to be a proper submissive little cuckold in the future. She also sent the video to four other men, presumably just because she was quite proud of how skillfully she was able to take mushroom slaps to her face and lips, and guzzle the cum down her filthy slut throat. Rather than thank Tiziana for sharing such information with him, her EX-boyfriend posted her videos to whatsapp, facebook, and other various cancerous social networks.

Before long, the Instagram fame she had been so fond of, suddenly took a turn. Rather than commenting about her beauty, her followers were now commenting about her traitorous debauchery. So popular were her videos, that it quickly reached well over a million views. "You're recording a video? Bravo!" soon became a "dank meme" or, in this case, a skank meme. Italian Corporations began to use it in their marketing. The betting site, known as "Paddy Power" tweeted:

Translation: You're making a bet? Goooooood!

As it turns out, the Soccer world was quite enamored with Italy's newest disgrace. With professional players Paolo Cannavaro and Antonio Floro making a video to honor her. In the video, Floro asks "but where is he?? (Paolo), what is he doing?" The camera pans to Cannavaro who is doing his best impression of the whore, kneeling in front of a display full of 'Bravo' fruit juice. Before long, our hero was more famous than she ever could have dreamed. With the help of many gossip blogs, her full name was revealed to the internet. Now everywhere she went, she was recognized for her talents. Soon, many of her adoring fans were purchasing smartphone cases, tee shirts, and even getting tattoos with her famous catchphrase on it!

Art Imitating Life

Another Woman Can't Make Up Her Mind[edit]

With her goal of widespread fame finally coming to fruition, one would be forgiven for assuming that Tiziana was having the time of her life. This was not the case. Like most dumb cunts, Tiziana had changed her mind and suddenly decided that fame wasn't so great after all. She had now done a complete 180 and quit her job, moved, and even changed her name to attempt to escape the constant recognition. This worked about as well as could be expected.

Since this plan of action failed to produce the desired results, Tiziana decided to do something that was sure to work; Bawww to the courts and force them to clean the internet of her shame. Utilizing Europes extremely progressive, well-thought-out law known as "The right to be forgotten", she sued several sites such as Facebook, that had her videos posted on them. Meanwhile, while this was happening, by complete surprise, an unforeseeable consequence of her lawsuit, is that media carried the story, further spiking interest for her videos.

The good news: After a very long court battle she WON her case! The bad news: By won, I mean, the court forced a few sites to delete her now rapidly spreading videos, and forced her to pay 20,000 Euros (or $22,500 dollars in real money) in legal costs.

Our Hero becomes An Hero[edit]

Anyone know where they buried her body?

What followed the courts final insult, was a time of deep depression for our hero. She had gone from orgies of Instagram compliments and of course, literal orgies, to being completely alone. Her friends, annoyed of constantly being embarrassed when out in public with Naples nastiest, suddenly stopped calling. Even men were avoiding her, apparently wary of being seen as a moot-level cuck. Tiziana had, finally, come to terms with the fact that she was an irredeemable cocksocket and thus, decided to become an hero.

Given her track record, it may not come as too much of a shock to you that she failed in this; Twice! Presumably, this is because she had such a thick layer of stranger-jism lining her stomach, that the pills active ingredients were not able to properly dissolve during her overdoses. Eventually, she changed methods and tied a noose around her neck and finally got it right. Proving that, just because you are able to take thick objects inside your throat without choking, does not mean that thick objects on the outside of your throat will be as harmless.

US Clickbait Outrage Machine, Engage![edit]

One might reasonably assume, given that Tiziana originally sent these videos to her ex boyfriend with the intention of emotionally scarring him, she might not quite have the moral high-ground in this story. If you assumed this, you clearly don't know much about U.S. progressive culture, shitlord!

While Tiziana did engage in what some would call "bullying", which is (-1) point in progressive culture; She also was a woman (+1), was told she should perhaps be ashamed of such vile sexual promiscuity (+1), only attempted to bully a white male (+1), and killed herself rather than face triggering opinions (+1). For those of you who are not slopes, this brings us to a grand total of (+3) raising her to progressive martyr status.

Hide your kids, hide your wife, lol @ your husband

Almost immediately following her death, the U.S. Media picked up the scent, and began tripping over themselves to highlight this as "proof" of rampant misogyny. The usual suspects Huffington Post CNN New York Times began to work tirelessly to paint Tiziana as a noble victim, whos only crime was being born in a society uncomfortable with womens sexuality. Italian politicians soon joined in (to save face). They event went so far as calling it an example of "violence against women".

Italy’s Prime Minister Matteo Renzi reflected: "As a government, there’s not a lot that we can do,’ ‘It’s mainly a cultural battle — also a social and political battle. ‘Our commitment is try to do everything we can. … Violence against women is not an ineradicable phenomenon."

(Because, her suicide wasn't a choice resulting from the consequences of a series of extremely poor decisions, No No! It was essentially MURDER!)
To honor Tizianas memory, her mother was brought into the funeral while on her back.

Tizianas family, understandably eager to obscure the nature of what led to her suicide, ran with this. With her mother even suggesting that Tiziana was "forced" to have group-sex to please her cuck boyfriend. Of course, had she seen the videos, there would be no way to doubt that Tiziana was asking for it

Despite this, Chief prosecutor Francesco Greco indicated he is seeking to file charges for ‘instigation to commit suicide’. Yes, this is somehow an actual charge in the shithole known as Italy. So kids, next time someone calls you a faggot online, just kill yourself and get them thrown in prison!

“I wonder how anyone can be so fierce, to rage against a girl who has not done anything wrong,” friend Teresa Petrosino told the Corriere della Sera. Reminding us all that sending hardcore sex videos to EX boyfriends in an attempt to emotionally scar him is pretty cool

Gallery[edit]

Cocksucker[edit]

See also[edit]

  • Golden iPod - Tiziana won the reward for 2016.
  • Drama Whore - Kindred spirts who will always see Tiziana as their shining example of who to emulate
  • Jessi Slaughter - What Tiziana's story would look like if she wasn't attractive
  • Kim Kardashian - What Tiziana's story would look like if she only burned coal and lived in the USA.
  • Fellatio - The degrading, degenerate sexual act that she mastered.
  • Revenge porn - This event is one of the most notable cases yet.
  • Guido, Skank - What she was
  • Feminism - The reason why such degeneracy is mainstream and accepted
  • Italy - Where it happened
  • Narcissism - What she and 9001% of women have
  • Instagram - Shitty social networking app she used

External Links[edit]

Sex Videos[edit]

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