PewDiePie
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This person is a sick fuck!
They should never be trusted by anyone! |
Possible side-effects include (but are not limited to): |
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WARNING: With JewsGet 6 million Views! |
PewDiePie (Powerword: Felix Arvid Ulf 'Yahudi' Schicklgruber Kjellberg✡) A.K.A. JewDiePie, is a Swedish jewfag and pedophile. He and his dildo-quiver archer girlfriend, that PewDiePie begs to peg him while she calls him a Schweinhund, currently make big money on the tubes making "Let's Play" videos, which is apparently something that certain people have taken quite the liking to over the years, namely the brainless 8-12-year-old crowd that makes up just enough of YouTube's users to grant PewDiePie the unwarranted pseudo-fame he's got today. Pewdiepie's fans, desperate for an idol with the same undeveloped, immature sense of humor as they themselves have, but still someone who's old enough to rape them without mercy, they worship PewDiePie on a level that would be considered unhealthy by most cultists.
While YouTube was popular for "skits" of people from the likes of Shane Dawson and Onision before his rise, PewDiePie managed to make these cancerous channels die, only to become a greater cancer himself. Through his popularity, he made "Let's Play" videos as the new trend of YouTube. Unlike most gaming videos on YouTube, however, don't even begin to expect the ones created by PewDiePie to contain even the faintest attempt at sensibility, reality, humor, or actually witty commentary comprehensible by humans. Instead, try to imagine being in the same room as a mentally handicapped basement-inhabitant who can hardly play a video game properly without screaming like a raped cunt as soon as something even remotely scary (or something that isn't scary at all) happens. Now imagine the same procedure being repeated enough times to cover 1300 YouTube videos, and you'll get the basic idea of just how fun it must be to be a part of PewDiePie's obviously not mentally healthy fanbase.
As PewDiePie's most noticeable trademark is that he clearly doesn't give two shits about actual video quality as long as he still gets to make money, he regularly tries to lie about everything and deny this, but the fact that he only wants your money can plainly be seen in his large nose. Despite his claims, he still likes to flaunt his donations and 50 dollars a week income he gets from YouTube views.
Unfortunately, he can't escape the ABBA curse of his Swedish heritage of being remarkably unfunny. The closest thing he ever gets to entertaining is playing Happy Wheels while making incredibly stupid voices and recycling played-out Justin Bieber jokes. That is, of course, until he decided to make 70 videos worth of that shit and ruined what minuscule chance there was that he at least wouldn't fuck that up.
Contents
- 1 Variety hates you for having none
- 2 Characters that appear in his videos
- 3 His girlfriend
- 4 His porn habits
- 5 PewDiePie Shows His True Colors
- 6 He came out of the closet
- 7 His Fanbase
- 8 His Malignant "Fabulous" Song
- 9 Secret Nazi?
- 10 Fanart Gallery
- 11 Examples of this faggotry
- 12 A New Challenger Approaches
- 13 PewDiePie Versus Lolcows
- 14 See Also
- 15 External Links
Variety hates you for having none[edit]
Andrew Wallenstein of Variety magazine heavily criticized pewdiepie when it became the most subscribed channel, describing his videos as "aggressive stupidity" and "psycho babble". Even with something like Variety hating his guts, the 11 year old PewDieFags still will try to defend their lord to the death with getting into comment wars with actually intelligent adults, pulling out the typical jealousy and hater cards, and mentioning things like Ragnarok and Hitler. Srsly. Take a look at the comments section and see all that bubbling cancer.
Copypasta Quotes[edit]
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Characters that appear in his videos[edit]
Since PewDiePie is both batshit insane and constantly desperate for supposedly "comedic" scenarios, he occasionally strikes up unintelligent conversations with inanimate objects or characters from the video games he talks over, and his fans find this gimmick funny only because they will find anything funny. Anything.
His gallery of memorable characters includes:
Stephano: A supposedly gay statue made by Arabs who mostly yells at PewDiePie (as any even remotely intelligent person who listens to him screaming for half a minute would do) except when it makes hints or shouts at PewDiePie when he misses something important while playing the game, instead of simply telling him the truth of how severely unfunny he is.
Barrels: Probably the most famous character in his series (likely thanks to his fans' tendency to refer to anyone who understands why PewDiePie is not funny as "BARRELS"), these things are apparently the evil masterminds behind everything bad that happens to PewDiePie, hence whenever the rambling retard spots a barrel in any game he will immediately scream like the insufferable little faggot he is as loud as he can, because his so-called "commentary" just wasn't enough of an annoyingly unfunny trainwreck already. Oh, and he calls his haters, well... barrels. (Now we know where this faggotry came from.)
Happy Wheels characters: Whenever PewDiePie makes a new Happy Wheels video he just loves to give voice-overs to the characters he plays as, because isn't that exactly what a slapstick game based entirely around physical comedy was missing? Dialogue that is comprised of constantly recycled catchphrases that no one with an I.Q. over 17 would mistake as even an attempt as actual comedy? Some of his famous characters are the irresponsible dad and his son where he voices both of them at the same time. Look up any PewDiePie fan forum and you're likely to find some of the most beloved quotes.
Mr. Chair: The dumbest and most retarded character ever created (yes, even by the standards of this douche-horse). Whenever he sees a chair, he gets all excited because his microcock needs a fuckbuddy and thus he names it Mr. Chair. Get it? It's funny because it's a chair! All hail the comedic gem that is PewDiePie! Chairs also seem to "help" him in-game, seeing as whenever a monster chases him he throws the chair at the monster while saying "Chair mode activated". No, we're not making this up. He really is that fucking retarded.
Piggeh: A mutilated secks-crazy pig carcass PewDiePie discovered in Amnesia. Mostly talks and acts like a nigger cracking overdone "dirty" jokes and genital references. Using hilarious catchphrases such as "Yiyyyeh" and "I'm pumped" while probably hoping that its miserable swiny life would come to an end
Slender Man: Slenderman is a myth in which PewDiePie believes, so when he did a play-through of every 13-year-old YouTube-dwelling moron's nightmare Slender, he got so terrified that now, whenever he sees someone wearing a black suit and is bald, he calls him "Slendy" (look attorrent his mad father's play-through for moar info. This would be the same faggot that made Slender Man a forced meme and promptly ruined everything for everyone.)
Cry: Not a character he created, but his buttbuddy that appears in his videos when the unfunny needs crankin'. Cry is a fame leech that only played with PewDiePie so he can get more subscribers and thus get more money. (He's a Jew, what a surprise... no wonder he chose him as his friend.) HoweverThankfully, PewDiePie doesn't know because he has so much cum within his brain that he can't see the truth. He also seems to like playing as little girls or play games that contain little girls. Pewdie fans generally imagine Pewdiepie and Cry engaging in intimate acts together, because all "pewdiecry" fangirls are a bunch of delusional 16 year olds.
As of 2014, PewDiePie no longer used any of these "funny" characters because he realised that doing other shit would earn him more $$$. Even his good friend Cry has been abandoned for shitty Britfags, sluts and FUCKING SMOSH.
His girlfriend[edit]
While PewDiePie was walking down the street one day, he found a gay guy dressed as a woman, so he paid "her" his fans' money, and then after seeing his great wealth "she" offered to pretend to be his girlfriend. He has to pay "her" monthly because lolis don't come cheap, which is why he always begs for money from his fans, yep, that's right the donations are actually just sent to his "Girlfriend".
You get to see "her" playing with him sometimes in his videos, but just trust us this time: "she" JUST SUCKS. When PewDiePie introduced his girlfriend, a lot of fangirls got angry because "she" stole him from them. This just proves that PewDiePie's fans are nothing but a bunch of losers who will never get laid and are even worse than CoD kiddies (HOLY SHIT, THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS BEEN DONE).
Note: her English sucks swamp ass. I mean, a 80 year old, rural Chinese lady speaks better English than her.
His girlfriend is a confirmed slut.
His porn habits[edit]
To no one's surprise, this basement dweller likes to watch porn. But whereas most of them actually do anything besides watching porn, this is not the case with this cunt as most of his browsing history is porn.
creatives.livejasmin.com
xvideos.com
tube8.com
big tits amateur teen
xhamstercams.com
xhamster.com
porn.com
Mature Nude babes Having sex
youporn.com
Nudevista.com
PewDiePie Shows His True Colors[edit]
In October 2012 some people posted a simple, blatant troll video about PewDiePie.
In a butthurt flurry, PewDiePie wrote a comment along the lines of "Oy Vey! The goy's hate and anti-semitism only bring me more shekels!" This inevitably caused a collective sore anus amongst his fans wondering why he said he was only in it for the money, and people began to downpour on PewDiePie troll videos white knighting anything and anybody who didn't suck his shriveled nerd e-cock.
His bullshit apology video
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Fast forward to 29 August 2014 when PewDiePie reached the 30M subscriber mark. How does he TV celebrate this? He lets down his fanbase. He says that the comments section is too messy and full of shit. So what does he do? He disables the comments section. Yep, he gives in to the trolls and all sorts of people he mentioned, like the self-advertisers, aka fellow attention whores.
Nearing the 50M subscriber mark, PewDiePie started bitching about how his channel was declining because he doesn't get 2 million views per video all the time. Instead of taking this as a sign that his content was shit, he instead went on a ten minute rant blaming YouTube, claiming that there was a conspiracy to take him down. After this, he claimed that he would delete his channel after hitting 50 million subscribers, only to act like a complete twat and instead delete a sockpuppet he created.
He came out of the closet[edit]
Remember how you used to think that the Harlem Shake fad could not possibly get more embarrassingly stupid? Well, look what happened instead:
In February 2013 PewDiePie came out as a gay crossdresser, however, his video was instantly removed by his homophobic fanbase. The video starts out with him awkwardly walking around, the magnitude of which he feels is too great to put into words, so he expresses himself by wearing little girl's panties that he got in the mail from his fans, and then lives out his fantasy of dancing in a gay strip club for all the world to see. You can also get a good view of his small penis.
His Fanbase[edit]
His "fanbase" consists entirely of sheltered white knight children, or at least people who share their mentality. Somewhere along the search for an adult role model, these children's insatiable desire for faggotry takes over and they're forced to find the only quasi-famous homosexual old enough to have a real job, but too socially inept to leave his mother's basement to get one. Since he spends all his time either fellating or fisting kids, or making funny faces while playing video games in order to lure them in. These children call themselves the "Bro Army," or "Bros," and are identified by the trail left behind of semen dripping from their sodomized kiddy anuses. Look for either that or any group of gaming-obsessed idiots exchanging unfunny catchphrases as if Z-grade comedy is their own, separate language.
These self-proclaimed "Bros" are exactly like bronies, except these guys fap to PewDiePie while bronies fap to pony porn, and bronies at least have a very, very, very, VERY small chance of getting some. The "bros" won't even get a chance to touch their stepfather's manboobs.
His fantards seem to call everyone who hates on PewDiePie a "barrel", intending for it to be their clever little in-joke and not realizing that it just makes them look like even more of an original fucktard and it makes people take them less seriously. That or they'll just accuse his haters of being jealous, which has the same effect as their "barrel" in-joke. What exactly you're supposed to be jealous of is very rarely clarified. Is it his ability to suck the comedy out of the room like a fucking Dyson? Is it the fact that the haters will never get as famous as him, i.e. obtain a fanbase that contains nothing aside from easily amused kids and teens? Is it the fact that he's got a girlfriend and the haters don't? Well no, because who would want to date anyone who finds loud Happy Wheels commentaries for 70 fucking videos amusing?
It's a good thing he has this massive, blindly defensive following, though, because that means he can conveniently send an army of illiterate, prepubescent fucktards to defend him whenever someone calls him out on his bullshit, so that he won't actually go as far as to grow an actual set of testicles and learn to accept criticism.
1 hour of fucking torture.
Trolling his Fanbase
Trolling PewDiePie's Fantards</center>
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Types of fans includes:
- Hetalia-Fags
- 12 year old girls
- Retards
- Tumblr Fangirls
- You
- 13 year old boys
- Virgins (Only exception is if one fan were to have unfortunate encounter IRL.)
- Touhou-fags (There's quite a few users on his forum which are this type. Refer to Rule ⑨)
- Emos (Many claim watching Pewdie has helped them through stages of avoiding depression, Anti-heroes, in short.)
- Pony-Fags
- Yaoi Fans (The amount of these are just too many to humanly count. And because the big chinned Semite does his gaming videos with a partner,Cry, the yaoi fangirls thought, why not?)
- Furries (Don't even ask.)
- Deviantartists (SRSLY. There are loads of these. Furfags and all of the above are usually are this too, and plenty of these fall under as Pewdiepies fans too, and its not uncommon for fans to Weaboo-up their idols. Take a look at this cute fanart of Cry and Pewdie for example!Heres another one, and yes, they actually spent time to sit down and color this in. If this isn't Aspies then i don't know what this is. )
The list goes on...Oh, and if you're wondering how to troll his fans, just pick on them in general, but the 10-13 year old fans will get their Dicks all strung up if you mention that he copies other users in humor (there's loads of faggotry about this, try to phase out the virgin guy's talking when watching), is in fact Pedobear, or Gay (spam R34 if they deny).
And in case you want to witness the faggotry yourself, Here's his forum.
His Malignant "Fabulous" Song[edit]
On December 13th 2014, the overrated faggot enslaved some asshole named Roomie to do a shitty montage song. In this video, PewDiePussy is cumfirmed to be a homosexual and that even his feminazi friend is less queer. Later in 2015, the morbidly obese neckbeards at Roblox decided to force you to listen to this cancer just to get a terribly designed egg.
Secret Nazi?[edit]
While making a 2017 video on the notoriously shitty website fiverr, this autistic faggot paid a couple of Indian niggers to hold up a sign that said "DEATH TO ALL JEWS". Naturally, every SJW butthurt over the election of Donald Trump went into a frenzy, accusing Pewdiepie of being an anti-Semite and a racist. Google and Disney cut off their partnerships with him, costing him millions of dollars and getting his series Scare Pewdiepie cancelled. And nothing of value was lost. 12 months later, in December 2018, he gave a shoutout to a YouTube channel run by an open neo-Nazi. Pewdie's reaction? "I'll be more careful in future."
Fanart Gallery[edit]
Who is the retard who drew this?
Proof that pewdiepie fans are bronies
and furries.
Proof that pewdiepie is a fan of loli
Pewdiepie getting raped by one of his fans
WHAT.THE.FUCK
Now in scribblenauts
Another furry huh; well no surprise here.
His best rape face
Autism reaching critical levels here.
Not even good for wiping your ass.
Fag Party
Meanwhile on YouTube, JewDiePie finds ways to make $$$
Mongolian master race reporting in
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Examples of this faggotry[edit]
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Warning! Viewing these videos might give you AIDS, turn you into a retard, and moar etc. |
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A New Challenger Approaches[edit]
During September, the internet was dumbfounded as the curry niggers over in India have enacted a way to overtake PewDiePie's army of 9 year olds. By using the power of Jew Gold, T-Series have been miraculously gaining subscribers in an attempt to obtain dominance over JewTube. In response, audiences all across Youtube have been flinging as much shit on the wall as possible in the hopes that maybe their lord and saviour PewDiePie can retain their spot as the top Jewtuber. PewDiePie even decided to make a diss track against T-Series, believing that there are actually people out there who are willing to listen to any music he produces. Side note: T-Series won, because PewDiePie's entire channel has no substance, besides the fact his fanbase is a bunch of 12 year old brainless autists.
