Spam
Honorary Ed Lolington
Spam
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Internet Law.
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We are all qualified attorneys at lol and every word of these articles is sound legal advice.
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Spam is a delicious processed luncheon meat product that your mom cooks with fucking everything. Spam is also a legitimate form of advertising and a multi-million dollar industry that everyone loves to hate. Spam had its origin when authors like Alexandre Dumas were paid by the word to publish novels so they would be of superior quality. Most spammers make an honest living out of reposting the same quality content over and over again, ad infinitum, you know, until people really get the picture. Sadly, some people invoke actual wire, mail, and e-mail fraud laws to severely abuse these humble public servants simply trying to get the word out about their new methods of curing erectile dysfunction. Some, however, spam with malicious intent on forums and message boards. Those people are huge cunts.
Don't knock it. It's got its own key. Hormel Foods Corporation, the makers of spam, have revealed future revisions of their spam would use the latest in 128-bit public encryption technology for the cans, as the traditional key is insecure, especially as it is included with the can.
Three great characters to spam on board with character limits on their posts are the following : ፼ (U+137C), ₔ, and (U+E366) (seriously, those are three single characters) because they are hueg liek Xbox and will allow you to cover more page area with the small character limit.
In passing, it is worth noting that Hormel Foods Corp, maker of the meat product mentioned above, has pursued intellectual property claims on the basis of trademark infringement by anti-spam companies such as "Spambusters" and "Spam Attack". Hormel foods has lost every single such case it has ever launched, but this has nothing to do with the free publicity afforded the manufacturers by the fact that this WWII-era concoction of pigs' lips and arseholes would be swiftly forgotten by a relieved public were it not for its name now being mentioned a gazillion times a day.
Contents
Costs of Spam[edit]
To quote TOW, The European Union's Internal Market Commission estimated in 2001 that "junk e-mail" cost Internet users €10 billion per year worldwide. It was estimated at least 100 years ago that spam cost Internet users $3.85 per can worldwide.
Why spam other people?[edit]
- Why the fuck not?
- For the lulz
- Revenge is a dish best served with sauce
- It’s a fun way to start a day.
- It’s a clean way to get revenge.
- If you like sending chain mails you will love doing it with spam!
- The best way to get a lot of visitors to your website.
- To advertise your shitty product.
- It's the most formal way to get your point across.
- Because all the pretty cool kids are doing it.
- Because you are bored.
- Because you are a respected, cool, fun to be around person.
- Because you are a furry.
- Because you are a troll.
- Because you have no life.
- Because your girlfriend cheated on you.
- Because you love it.
- Because you love Tl;dr threads.
- Because you can.
- Because you can't.
People who spam[edit]
- Nigerians
- Pharmacies
- 12 year old girls
- 13 year old boys
- Kimmo Alm
- Your bank
- Your mom
- Your alcoholic dad
- GNAA
- Scientologists
- Bible sellers
- Penny stock sellers
- Online/mail-order colleges
- Dating sites
- Cam whores
- Muslims
- Spambots
- Billy Mays - Now he's fucking dead, but they "aggressively advertise" in his honor.
- Tahko
- YOU
Spamalot?[edit]
There is a girl in New Orleans
They call the Chinese Tongue
And though she does four jobs an hour
Her work is never done
My lover was a spammer
She sold a green card well
She's been the ruin of many a cell phone
And now I know mine's one
Now the only thing a spammer needs
Is a way to get the cash
And a place to call out to her marks
Till she heads off in a flash
Oh suckers tell your children
Not to do what you have done
Spend your money on a copied public form
Written in the Chinese tongue
Well I've got one hand on my cellphone
And the other on the rail
I'm throwing out all your complaints
Cuz there's a new phone out on sale
There is a girl in New Orleans
They call the Chinese Tongue
And though she does four jobs an hour
Her work is never done
If That's Not Enough to Make You Kill Yourself...[edit]
Spam pizza... you didn't order it!
A prime example of forum spam.
Spam reaction from a butthurt fag.
Once again, that's greatwigs.co.uk!!!!
William Shatner is a Canadian actor, musician, recording artist and...
Spam comes with bad grammar and in Comic Sans
SPAM! You Got It!
Now With Illustrations!
Whores are known to spam on Newgrounds
Spam with embedded pix!!1!
YOUR INTARNETZ AND EMAILZ DIED LULULULU!!11!!one!!
QQ
RAGE!
LolRage.
See Also[edit]
- Chris Beer - Infamous 4chan spammer
- Cloaking
- DESU
- DE GESO
- DMOZ
- Hookers and blow
- Message
- Michael Pousti
- Nigeria- Their whole economy is based on sending spam.
- Republic of Sierra Leone
- Spambot
| Spam is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
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| Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
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