Larry Craig
Larry "Wide Stance" Craig is the senior United States Senator from Idaho, a "nasty bad naughty boy," and total real-life faggot. He is a member of the GOP ("Gay Old Perv") party, and has been a Senator since 1991; he was a U.S. Representative from 1981 to 1991 and enjoys reading the M4M section of Craigslist. In 1982 he was accused of grade A faggotry with little boys, punishable by Jesus, to which he responded by deleting all of his YouTube videos whilst taking CNN off his friends list because it was entrapment and they were mean jerk faces. When not busy supporting Scientology fanboi [1] Mitt Romney [2], Larry can be found tapping his foot. Immediately all Republicans ever invented in the history of ever wanted Senator Craig off their team in fear that he might spread the gay, this is fact. The WHO responded by reporting toe tapping as the number one cause of gay next to anal sex and pedophilia, all time honored past times of the statesman from Idaho.
On June 11, 2007, Senator Craig sauntered on in to a Minneapolis-St. Paul airport bathroom cruising for dudes, when he began trying to fondle an undercover officer; he was then arrested for trolling for sex IRL. He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in August 2007, and decided maybe it was time to stop tapping his foot. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, was given one year of probation ftw. A 10-day jail sentence was stayed, where Craig found God and sucked some moar cock in the process. Currently, he is extremely butthurt and "NOT GAY!" He is rumored to be clinging to life and is expected to kill himself in the near future. But above all, remember that he is 100% NOT GAY. He just enjoys the occasional assfuck.
Contents
- 1 PLZ TAP FOOT
- 2 EDiot Research
- 3 IMPLICATED in 1982 Cocaine and Homosexuality SCANDAL!
- 4 Endorsement of Mitt Romney DELETED from YouTube, but perhaps not quickly enough!
- 5 Further Faggotry
- 6 He's All About The Dirty Bear Sex
- 7 Trivia
- 8 Larry Craig's Gallery of Faggotry
- 9 Craig's List - Fags Who've Been Arrested For Cottaging
- 10 See Also
- 11 Resources
PLZ TAP FOOT[edit]
According to Roll Call, the arresting officer filed the following in his report of the incident:
| —Officer Hank Hightower | ||
A spokesman for Craig described the incident as a he said/he said misunderstanding LOL.
| —Larry Craig | ||
EDiot Research[edit]
- internet faggotry searches including the bathroom Larry Craig enjoyed tapping his foot at, turned up extreme homosexual activites [3]
Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport, Minneapolis. Cruisy toilet by the shoeshine, on the back side of the ticket counters. New comments added September, 2006: "I was just there and it is still the place to go. I was in there all day and watched several men jackoff. One was a TSA agent. He was jacking it hard and watching me under the stall. We came so hard he could not help but moan with delight. This is the place to be with a layover." New comments added September, 2006: Read about this hot spot today and stopped by after getting off my flight. I walked around the corner and a hot, tall, big-dicked man was stroking at the urinal. I joined in and motioned him into a stall, sat on the toilet and sucked him until he shot a huge man-load down my throat. I didn't get off so I killed some time, came back, stood at the urinal for a few minutes and another guy walked in, turned to glance at my cock, proceeded into a stall, I chose the one next to him and before I knew it we were grabbing each other under the stall. Then his ass came down and squatted and I fucked his ass until I blew inside. Hot! FYI to visitors: it's the bathroom to the left once you get out of security checkpoint two. This place is unbelievably hot! I sat in a stall for less than five minutes and had two Northwest Airlines employees sit on either side of me, both tapping their feet. They took turns sucking on my cock under the stall. Then one passed me a note to follow him upstairs. We finished off in a little-used bathroom one floor up. I came back to play some more with the other employee, but he had left. It wasn't too much of a problem, however. The next guy to get in the stall next to mine was gym-built and begging to get fucked. I will definitely come back to this spot! New comments added January, 2007: "While flying through here last weekend I noticed a white shirted security guard standing in the middle of the hallway for nearly two hours within view of the entrance to the bathroom. He had a...Read More...Heads Up! New comments added February, 2007: "Amazing! Ok, if you have a ticket or are on a layover this bathroom is in the middle of the shopping/eating area right next to a shoe shine. There's jackoff action at the urinal and the stalls in the...Read More... New comments added June, 2007: "Just a heads up. I exchanged some messages on [[Craigslist]] about meeting a guy here, actually pretty tame exchanges. He told me what he was wearing and I sat in the stall next to him. When I showed him...Read More...Heads Up! New comments added June, 2007: "I just got busted here. Young white guy sitting in the stall, waiting for you to show cock and then he flashes his badge. I think he and his partner tag team. They cruise lots of sex sites looking for...Read More...Heads Up! New comments added June, 2007: "Airport police sting in process, four arrests so far this week." Heads Up! New comments added June, 2007: "Twenty people were arrested within the past week. Plainclothes officers wait in the stalls and tap their feet and even put their foot on yours and then arrest you when you look under the stall wall.... Read More...Heads Up! New comments added July, 2007: "Airport police continue to arrest people in the stalls. Watch out!" Heads Up! New comments added August, 2007: "Obviously, the closeted gay Republican Senator Craig of Idaho wasn't reading your ‘heads up’ on this place. The sixty-two year old senior Senator had sponsored a constitutional amendment to deny...Read More... New comments added August, 2007: "Well, everyone better take heed. The Senator got busted there too -- allegedly tapping his foot got him busted. So if you use this bathroom don't be tapping your feet. Better stay out for a long while... Read More...Heads Up! New comments added August, 2007: "So now Idaho Senator Larry Craig has been arrested in this toilet. I've been horny in this toilet. The injustice here is that most of the patrons cruising there look like Craig. Meanwhile, the...Read More...Heads Up! New comments added August, 2007: "The floor now recognizes the good senator from Idaho." New comments added August, 2007: "Now officially known as the Senator Larry Craig Memorial T-Room after his arrest here in June. Now if he had just read all the reports of busts here on CFS he might have avoided all of this!" Heads Up! New comments added August, 2007: "This stalls and back urinals have been cruisy for a long time. Lots of gay NWA staffers hang out here but so do the cops. It's entrapment city." New comments added September, 2007: "Obviously Senator Craig should have consulted CFS. The 'Heads Up' feature is without question, the most helpful (besides the actual locations of cruisy spots)."
In before tl;dr
| —anonymous | ||
IMPLICATED in 1982 Cocaine and Homosexuality SCANDAL![edit]
Here are two news reports about coke-whore Larry Craig and young male Congressional pages - from 1982! The distinguished Senator appears toward the end of each news clip.
Endorsement of Mitt Romney DELETED from YouTube, but perhaps not quickly enough![edit]
ZOMG, WUT IS THIS FAGGOT TREE ?
Bill Clinton, You are a NASTY BAD NAUGHTY BOY !
DUDE, HE IS "NOT GAY"! LOL
Further Faggotry[edit]
In October 2006, gay activist blogger Mike Rogers, who has earned a controversial reputation for outing political conservatives, alleged on his blog that Craig was gay. Craig responded by calling him a faggot and masturbating to his image.
On August 28, 2007 the Idaho Statesman published a series of allegations about Craig's sexual activities, and his responses to them, that it had withheld until his conviction came to light:
- A college student who was considering pledging at Craig's fraternity at the University of Idaho in 1967 told a reporter for the Idaho Statesman that Craig led the student to his bedroom and "made what the man said he took to be an invitation to sex." Craig responded: "I don't hit on any men."
- A gay man told a reporter for the Idaho Statesman that, in November 1994, Craig cruised him at the R.E.I. store in Boise, following him around the store for half an hour. Craig responded: "I'm not gay, and I don't cruise, and I don't hit on men. I have no idea how he drew that conclusion. A smile? Here is one thing I do out in public: I make eye contact, I smile at people, they recognize me, they say, 'Oh, hi, Senator.' Or, 'Do I know you?' I've been in this business 27 years in the public eye here. I don't go around anywhere hitting on men, and by God, if I did, I wouldn't do it in Boise, Idaho! Jiminy!"
- A professional 40-year-old man with close ties to Republican officials "reported having oral sex with Craig at Washington's Union Station, probably in 2004." Craig responded: "I am not gay and I have never been in a restroom in Union Station having sex with anybody."
December 2nd 2007: Holy Shit! Sloppy Ted Haggard Seconds!
The Idaho Statesmen claims that Mike Jones, former prostitute and favored by nine out of ten upstanding politicians for meaningful political conversations with people like The Rev. Ted Haggard last year first said he would not touch Craig with a his mother's ten foot dick. But, eventually confessed. Jones says Craig paid him for sex in late 2004 or early 2005. Seven more men have said they have had sexual relations
| —Larry Craig. Still Not Gay | ||
He's All About The Dirty Bear Sex[edit]
Daniel Phillips, a past buttsecks partner of Craig's has recently revealed that Larry will fuck the shit out of your ass.
(..thats really all that needs to be said):
“...He stripped me down, and the man’s hands and mouth were all over me. He kept his pants on, though, while laying me back on the bed to suck my cock. Then, he stripped naked and asked me to suck him. I complied for a while, then he disappeared and returned with lube and a condom to fuck me me with. It was a clumsy and unremarkable fuck, except that I wasn’t clean and he was frantic about not getting my shit on anything. Still, he blew his load, ripped the dirty condom off and ordered me to get dressed without wiping myself. He hurried me to the back door, again ranting, ‘You were never here. You don’t know me. Right?’”
Trivia[edit]
- Even though Senator Craig is a fag, he supports the Federal Marriage Amendment, and voted for cloture (aka Rule 22?) on the amendment in both 2004 and 2006. He voted against cloture on a bill in 2002, which would have extended the federal definition of hate crimes to cover sexual orientation even if they were furries.
- Voted YES on prohibiting same-sex marriage. (Sep 1996)
- Voted NO on prohibiting job discrimination by sexual orientation. (Sep 1996)
- HOLY SHITE!:In 1995, Craig formed a barbershop quartet called The Singing Senators (of Doom) with Senators Trent Lott, John Ashcroft, and James Jeffords.
- The most serious finding by the Statesman was the report by a professional man with close ties to Republican officials. The 40-year-old man reported having oral sex with Craig at Washington's Union Station, probably in 2004. The Statesman also spoke with a man who said Craig made a sexual advance toward him at the University of Idaho in 1967 and a man who said Craig "cruised" him for sex in 1994 at the REI store in Boise. The Statesman also explored dozens of allegations that proved untrue, unclear or unverifiable.
Larry Craig's Gallery of Faggotry[edit]
|
Warning! The following pictures may be gayer than fucking strange men in restrooms. |
it was a case of "he said / he said" faggotry
There were sightings of Larry Craig in other public restrooms prior to the arrest.
Press R3
You watch yourself, now.
MSNBC is ecstatic.
Phallic recipe for disaster
Change we can believe in
Craig's List - Fags Who've Been Arrested For Cottaging[edit]
- George Michael
- You
See Also[edit]
- The entire Republican Party.
- Hypocrite
- Lindsey Graham
- Mark Foley
- Patrick McHenry
- Richard Curtis
- The Daytona Nine
Resources[edit]
- How to get some hot 'tea'.
- Larry Craig's Homepage of Hilarity
- thesmokinggun.com Larry Craig docs
- His most HARDCORE supporters
- Larry Craigslist
| Larry Craig is part of a series on Gay Republicans [OPEN THE CLOSET!]
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| Featured article August 30, 2007 | ||
| Preceded by Owen Wilson |
Larry Craig | Succeeded by Burning Man |
