Orly Taitz
| |
| Species | Lunatic |
| Gender | Female |
| Location | California, U.S.A. |
| Claim to lulz | Mother of the Birthers |
| Weapon of Choice | Heaps of Paperwork and Lies |
| Website | Orly? |
| —Everybody gets that confused. | ||
Orly Taitz is a Soviet butthurt conservative nutjob and IRL troll who currently makes a living making up shit for the lulz. In addition to being a psycho cunt, Ms. Taitz is also ugly as sin which helps her cause among conservatives. So upset that a black person became president, she decided to start a movement (the birthers) that would make the 9/11 truthers seem sane by comparison. Of course like most conservative "causes," evidence and facts were not required, only a huge amount of butthurt and fat people.
Contents
Background[edit]
| —Orly eats Cyrillic alphabet soup. | ||
Prior to the 2008 presidential election various chain emails were circulated around the internet claiming that Obama was not a “natural born citizen,” and that being such, he was not able to become president. Because of these emails, many right wing nuts were given some hope that Obama was really not their president and took the words in those emails to be gospel. They didn’t know they were being suckered in by another right-winger attention whore who also happened to be a scam-whore extraordinaire in the person of Orly Taitz.
Since both the state of Hawaii and the secret service both checked out Obama before he applied for the campaign, even before he became a senator. In fact, they even dug up an old Hawaiian newspaper announcing his birth. But did Taitz’s drive for outing Obama stop there? No. Both have certified that Obama is a citizen and that, it would seem, should have ended the insanity right then and there. State certification is not enough for the certifiable Birther pack, they still carry on, attempting to somehow remove Obama from office even though almost everybody is tired of hearing from them.
Description[edit]
Known as the Birther-in chief, Orly Taitz is a Russian immigrant and attorney in the state of California. As far as her description goes, that is where sanity stops and the unreality begins. She has a dental degree from some Israeli university, she has a mail order law degree from someplace, and she claims to be a real estate agent. All of these claims have a bit of quasi-truth to them, but quickly melt away under a tiny bit of scrutiny. Also, since she was raised under the Soviet regime in Russia during the cold war, she (like most ex-commie Russians) has a paranoid streak a mile wide; considering any sort of opposition part of the “Obama Thugs” who are out to silence her…possibly forever. (queue sinister music)
Lies[edit]
1. Orly lied that she escaped from the Soviet Union 20 yrs ago. That would be 1989. But in 1987 Orly was married in Las Vegas USA as an established resident of California.
2. There is no record of her immigration, arrival in USA or naturalization, although records for those events are publicly available for the years from her birth through present day.
3. Orly’s had 3 anchor babies. Isaac Yitzhak Taitz, 14 Jul 1989, Benjamin Samuel Taitz,7 Oct 1991, Ronald Michaeladam Taitz, 3 Sep 1993. When Orly registered Ronald’s birth Orly fraudulently gave her maiden name as Auerbuch instead of Averbuch. Maybe both are fake names, because there is no record of her in the official list of Soviet Citizens from 1960-1987.
4. Orly claims Orly got her dental degree from Hebrew University in Israel. Was that before or after her “escape” from the Soviet Union? Hebrew U does not have a record of her on their Alumni list. A fake dental degree explains the dozens of dental malpractice suits filed against her.
5. Orly paid someone to take the California Bar exam for her. Her lack of knowledge of the law and of legal procedures supports this. Her terrible grammar and spelling shows her lack of formal education and supports the theory her dental degree is fake, and of course her unaccredited online law school required no prerequisites or LSAT.
6. There is no record of her in the list of California Registered voters.
7. The same year as her marriage, husband Yosef opened Daylight Chemical Information Company, even though he has no degree listed anywhere.
8. Orly claims she is also a realtor but that is another lie. Her license was revoked years ago.
9. Orly calls herself a Constitutional law expert, but besides the obvious fact that Orly doesn’t understand it at all. Orly’s never had a case before, other than defending herself against malpractice.
10. Orly claimed that her website and Paypal account were hacked by invisible boogiemen.
11. Claims that the Constitution requires for both of the president's parents to be natural born citizens as well. Particularly lulzy since this is so blatantly easy to prove as untrue.
The Saga of the Website[edit]
| —Sometimes it takes a crystal ball to figure this stuff out… | ||
Taitz considered it her moral duty to spread her fanatical word to every ear that will listen. She did this by blogging her addled brains out constantly while traveling across the United States, visiting gun shows, tractor pulls, and any other event where you might find large groups of right wing redneck open-carry gun-toting nuts gathering. She spent huge amounts of cash, energy and time criss crossing the states, doing her self-given duty until somebody decided to halt her madcap antics by outing her as a liar.
Orly told everybody that her PayPal account and her website were hacked. She filed reports with both the FBI and her local sheriff’s department, but was still asked to leave her hosting by her own webmaster because he was tired of her shenanigans. The webmaster then kindly provided huge amounts of proof that she was off her nut and was confusing internet downtime and traffic issues with a true hack. In any event, the site was moved, much to the happiness of the jilted webmaster.
SCOTUS[edit]
| —No Orly, no you can't anymore. | ||
Birthers claim that Obama cannot legally be president because he isn’t a natural born citizen of the United States. Since the 2008 election, they have been rattling cages and making noise in any way they can, but they received the final knock-out blow when their case was thrown out by every court it was presented to. Finally, even the Supreme Court of the United States tossed out the charges, telling Taitz and her pack of goons to hit the road.
Even a batty liar like Taitz could see the writing on the wall and gave up her struggle…leaving only this quote as a footnote to her nutty tale of idiocy:
| —You are lucky they ignored you rather than putting you in a rubber room. | ||
What’s Next?[edit]
What exactly is next for Orly Taitz is up to speculation. She has gone on the record since her SCOTUS smack down and called Obama a communist. While this may be true, her past pretty much makes it a foregone conclusion that anything this nut says is gonna be shrugged off like the whispered intonations of a madwoman.
| —Pssst…Orly, nobody cares. | ||
At this point it appears that she is tottering from one sort of conspiracy to another, testing the waters and keeping an eye open for whoever will listen to her. In short, this makes her a drama whore and attention whore who happens to have enough money to get her face into the media…if only to be laughed at. Even still, her potential for mischief is still something to worry about, because there is always some moron out there who will listen.
Update[edit]
| —Orly? | ||
A Judge in California has scheduled a July 13, 2009 hearing where Orly, upon victory, can request Obama’s birth records. Looks like she is back in business. What this really appears to be is some last remaining dregs of the original cases she filed back in January. Because of the backlog of cases in the California courts system, this new case has recently risen amid the floating ocean of paperwork found there. Once it was brought to light, a judge, David O. Carter allowed the case to proceed…making one wonder what he has been drinking.
Feb 23, 2010: The poster child for stupid cunts has filed with the UN for "protection" from 0bama. The irony of someone devoted to American nationalism calling the UN because she's butthurt is rather lulzy.
Quotes[edit]
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Gallery[edit]
Giving her a license to steal.
Nothing new here, just a black man up on charges.
Obama is Soetoro!
Orly getting burned once again.
The idiots tried to serve a summons at the White House.
Begging Souter to press charges.
Swafford is a birther.
Interesting what pops up when you Google Orly.
Birthers claim that Barack's birth certificate is Photoshopped.
TL;DR...loony chick types too goddamned much.
Another sworn affidavit.
Getting snubbed by a governor.
More "proof."
THE REAL DEAL... supposedly.
The kind of stuff that makes Orly's penis hard.
Caraciture that can't keep its mouth shut.
Watch out, she can kick your ass!
Video[edit]
Orly challenges the media to find out the troof.
Some bald fat faggot blathering on about something nobody really cares about.
Orly's just trying to get the truth out, and they're stepping on her!
Video Links:
See Also[edit]
External Links[edit]
|
Orly Taitz is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
