it’s my son’s birthday
he opens gifts before school
a few books, a car
a plastic gyro-robot
better building blocks
lion king video
couldn’t find the power ranger
with atomic teeth
but we’ll go look for that saturday
he’s playing with the robot
it won’t do anything advertised
but that doesn’t bother him
just me
we wait for the bus
at the end of the drive
it looms up through the fog
red lights flashing
a quick hug and up he swings
eyes like headlights
charging into life
my daughter wants to get on too
i pull her back, pick her up
tell her her turn will come
all too soon
we can’t see him but wave away
on the road to work
i can’t stop thinking
i tell myself everything is ok
which it is but something keeps
washing over me
my children, my wife, my life,
the news on the radio
my tie is too tight
but pulling doesn’t help the pain
in the back of my throat
and the misty day is strangely bright
in my eyes
at work i sign on
it wants my password
the wave breaks
immensity draws me under
i pretend to blow my nose and pray
nobody walks into my cube