MSPaint Adventures
|
MSPaint Adventures looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.
|
Microsoft Paint Adventures is some interactive flash comic or some bullshit thing like that, disguised as the atrocity that is the webcomic medium, which as we all know, is the most fucking terrible kind of medium. It involves various stories involving aliens, weird plots that are beyond confusing (not to mention poorly written), underage kids in sexual relations, and crazy-ass fans. Yet, this manages to be one of the only good webcomics on the interbutts. The author, Andrew Hussie, is a Jew who lives off of donations and the shitty products that he sells, such as weird-ass designs for T-shirts, MIDI music, and other convoluted methods of cocksuckery.
Contents
Bard Quest and Jailbreak[edit]
In these two pieces of shit nobody cares about, an unnamed man attempts to escape from a prison cell. Neither of these stories were finished, and reflect Hussie's lazy ass work ethic. But if they were finished, they would reveal Hussie's collection of sick shit. The only reason he couldn't continue his smut further was because he realized he couldn't get more jew gold without sucking the fans pork-lances any harder. Thankfully, thanks to the efforts of Tim Buckley, "Choose Your Own Adventure" comics were made much, much worse. Not that he is original or anything.
Problem Sleuth[edit]
Problem Sleuth is the story of some detective dude and his two buddies, Lord Douche and Captain Caveman. It starts with them in their room jacking off to the scenery (bullshit backgrounds Hussie's fans drew). Eventually they get out and other stupid shit happens. They go to a bunch of places that aren't notable and solve puzzles too obscure for your Webster dictionary to comprehend. Eventually they fight the Demon Orgy CockDick, because he's all up in their shit, waving his junk around. They get pissed, other stuff happens, and it all ends in shit nobody understands or cares for. An incoherent storyline, abysmal art, and frequent meaningless walls of text combine to make this abcess of a webcomic unbearable; however, it's still better than Homestuck.
Homestuck[edit]
Homosuck is an anime about four autistic NEETs who decide to do heroin together for the first time, in a story taking inspiration from professional wrestling, furry porn, and 1940s war propaganda serials as it explores autocannibalism practicioner Andrew Hussie's erotic feelings towards horses, cripples, albinos, and small children. The story is segmented into eighty-seven cantos, each invoking the motif of sexual awakening within one of the author's spirit animals.
Faggotslurp has attracted a large and |fanatical following of nihilistic underaged trannysexuals among whom pozzing is a common initiation ritual. Other activities practiced at meetups include bile drinking, Tubgirl reenactments, as well as communal piss-downs. Initiates commonly dress as the story's whimsical "trolls", a race of insectile rapists with orange dicks growing out of their heads.
Trannyguzzle commonly features over nine thousand words per panel, and, uniquely among webcomics, intermittent Tibetan throat-singing sequences summarizing the events thus far, with competing fandom subcommunities frantically working to translate and interpret the messages.
The first 100+ pages read like Zork: The Webcomic. The next 1000 pages of plot introduce some kids named John, Rose, and Dave. Suddenly, as if it were unplanned and the author realized that nothing had actually happened yet, a meteor comes and the world ends. No one seems to notice, most likely because the collective IQ of the group is about the same as the average reader's. Some way through this, Dave starts feeling sexually confused by a bunch of homoerotic puppets that his brother made. His confusion soon comes to an end. Luckily, anal rape is an everyday occurrence in his household, so you don't have to worry about the comic ending there.
After that, John enters the realm of a flying spaghetti monster and proceeds to pissrape some monsters. Later he randomly dies, BUT DON'T WORRY, THAT WAS JUST AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE. Dave can now travel through time or something because future Dave gave past Dave magic floating turntables which only exist because future Dave got them from future future Dave when he was past Dave, which is present Dave now. Andrew calls it "weird time shit", which is retardese for Deus Ex Machina. The fourth main character is finally introduced, after over $400,000 of shit art. And guess what? She's a furry.
Later it's revealed that John is a buttbaby-clone of himself and his friends made with green ghost semen. No need to elaborate on this. (Note: this is actually part of the official canon.) Ater meeting a bunch of aliens that everyone jizzes their pants over, the kids hitch a ride on a meteor with a one way ticket to Chuck E. Cheese's.
Trolls are the main draw to Homestuck, as there are 12 of them and they are "naturally bisexual". This leads fans to assume that they'll fuck anything that moves, just as the fans themselves will FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES. Hussie, realizing his mistake, decides to reset the comic for presumed "lulz," but the lulz are missing because they got mugged by a black guy.
But wait, there's more! In a stunning twist, Hussie decides to kill fucking everyone for no reason, making all his fans flip the fuck out. Yes, he managed to troll his fan base. Yes, there were some lulz. No, it does not mean the fanbase wised up and stopped being lolcows.
But they weren't dead, because of alternate timeline/Deus Ex Machina bullshit, and then he introduces more characters, repeating the process infinitely.
In all actuality, he's going to keep pandering to the "homies" and put more ":B" faces everywhere. A video game is coming out in 2014 2015 2016, thanks to the efforts of the owner of the world's largest Jew Gold refinery.
The Homestuck Adventure game[edit]
Andrew, being the jew he is, decided to cash in on his shitty comic even more by creating HIVESWAP, a point and click adventure game designed to be a somewhat prequel to the comic. The game was supposed to be in 3d but was jewed down to a 2d artstyle because The Odd Gentlemen stole all their money in an attempt to make their own game with said money. The game that ended up being released was the first of four acts that was little over 2 hours long so that you couldn't refund, and cost eight fucking dollars. In a panic about what to do for the second act, Andrew created Hiveswap Friendim. A series of Visual Novel games that was $1 on launch, and had 18 "necessary" dlc's that were needed to play the whole story. The second act was meant to release in summer of 2018, however it never actually came out. This means that all those people who funded this man will never get the game they funded for after all (as if it was actually going to release anyway).
How To Become Part of the Fandom[edit]
1. Go to the site.
2. Skip to Act 5.
3. Question marks.
4. Profit like a Wal-Mart in a white trash community.
Insane Asylum Rantings[edit]
| —experimentalDeity 03:03, April 9, 2012 (UTC) | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Dating Service[edit]
The autistic fucks that actually enjoy this convoluted pigshit have decided to open up a dating service for people in their fandom. It's filled with a bunch of 13 year old boys and fat 16 year old girls. You can find the virgins and their profiles here. baleeted.
Characters of Homestuck[edit]
For some reason, Andjew decided to color-code his ridiculously two-dimensional characters so his fangirls could tell them apart.
The Children:
- John: A young heterosexual male who likes gushers and has a fetish for old women, notably ones that lead to incest. He has no personality whatsoever.
- Rose: An emo know-it-all cunt who's smarmy and predictable. Enjoys watching a furry unleash genocide on a planet while masturbating to Cthulhu preforming goatse on LSD.
- Dave: A wannabee. His brother has a thing for puppets, which leads to Dave's eventual rape. Still thinks he's hot shit because his anus is redder than Cracky-chan's nose. He claims everything he does is for ironcontent://media/external/file/9649ic purposes.
- Jade: Furry cosplayer, precog, and so boring she gave herself narcolepsy. Not even the fans care about this bitch, moving on.
- The Guardians: Two neglectful parents too busy doing fuck-all to watch their kids, Charles Darwin, and an animu nerd.
- Jack: Some nigger in a legal department that shanked a niggeress, took her jewelery, and went on to kill a bunch of people from another planet. Does it for the lulz, therefore, a pretty cool guy.
The Moar Children:
- Jane: WASP bitch who likes baking. Boring as shit, except when she flips the fuck out. Also got rejected by Jake because she's a fucking fat ass.
- Roxy: Drunken haxxor who has a dysfunctional relationship with her mother.
- Dirk: Cunt. One of the few characters who manages not to fuck up every single thing they do, but hates himself anyway.
- Jake: Indiana Jones wannabe with a gun kink. Bisexual and a complete fuckwit.
The DevilsTrolls:
- Aradia: Necr0philiac r0b0t. Zer0 pers0nality.
- Tavros: ,cRIPPLE THAT SPEAKS LIKE A COMPLETE RETARD, THAT CAN'T CORRECTLY FORMULATE SENTENCES, AND TEACHES AUTISTIC KIDS THAT THEY CAN FLY,
- Sollux: l33t haxx0r. 2r2 b2n2 here! Ha2 no plot functiion and then diie2.
- Karkat: SMALL MAN. LARGE ANUS. SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT HIS APPEARANCE AND HIS RELATIONSHIPS, HE'S ABOUT AS CLOSE TO ONE OF THESE PATHETIC FANTARDS AS IT GETS.
- Nepeta: :33 < Furry who obsesses over fictional relationships between her online friends. Every Homestuck reader distilled into one character.
- Kanaya: Lesbian Vampire. Hussie Needed To Pander To An Even Wider Range Of People. He Decided That Introducing The Homosexual Community To His "Art" Was A Good Idea, So Every Other Little Gay Girl Identifies With This One, Due To Unwarranted Self-Importance. Kanaya Herself Enjoys Lipstick And Fashion, And Therefore Is Not Even A Proper Lesbian.
- Terezi: WHO C4R3S? C4N S33 THROUGH SM3LL 4FT3R H3R 3Y3S W3R3 BURN3D BY TH3 SUN. CHO1C3 4SS.
- Vriska: GOTIS. Telepathic psycho 8itch who killed her friends. No8ody seems to 8e 8othered 8y her doing this.
- Equius: D --> Mr. Hands.
- Gamzee: juggalo. KILLS EVERYBODY. intentionally helps magical fuck puppet resurrect main bad guy and doom the universe. IS TRAPPED IN A FRIDGE TO ATONE FOR HIS SINS.
- Eridan: Hipster faggot wwho can't do anything right. Harry Potter obsessivve wwho tries to wwreck shit but is then sawwn in half by some lesbian.
- Feferi: Once again, w)(o really gives a s)(it? T)(e Royal W)(ore w)(o stuffs fis)( up )(er butt and )(as no plot relevance at all.
The Moar Trolls:
- Kankri: White Knight. The epit9me of a social justice 6l9gger. Every9ne in the 9mniverse is currently trying t9 get a restraining 9rder against this assh9le.
- Damara: Weeaboo. Gives extremely sexual commentary in bad Japanese to anybody she meets.
- Rufioh: The troll equ1valent of Dante Basco. Tr1es to save the world by be1ng 1nto best1al1ty.
- Mituna: R3T4RD, F0RM3R P57CH1C. D13D 1N 4 M4RCH1NG 4CC1D3N7.
- Meulin: (=T I T=) DEAF NEKOGIRL WHO TAKES HORNS UP HER ASS FROM HER CLEARLY INSANE AND EVIL BOYFRIEND.
- Porrim: Tits of GTFO+. Giant who+re who+ has spent mo+st o+f eternity getting her ass po+unded by Cthulhu.
- Latula: guuuuurl g4m3r!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4s 4nnoy1ng 4s r34l-l1f3 count3rp4rts. Do3sn't 3v3r do 4nyth1ng of not3, som3th1ng Hom3stuck f4ns c4n r3l4t3 to.
- Aranea: Possi8le gigaaaaaaaantic les8ian for Meenah. Talks too fucking much. 8asically the worst one.
- Horuss: 8=D < Rufioh's butt buddy. He is the
EngineerHe's too much of a shitty character to be the engineer. Plus, he never builds any Sentries. - Kurloz: Mute. Gay mime who is secretly in cahoots with Gamzee, an equally two-dimensional and pointless character. Only tolerable because he tries to stop the train-wreck of a comic by destroying the universe.
- Cronus: Ice-less vwersion of the Ice King. No one lovwes him because he's a pedophile and
looks likea faggot. - Meenah: A psycho. Generally bitchy to everybody, and idolises the alternate version of herself who is a megalomaniacal galactic genocidal bitch queen.
One of the only two likeable Moar Trolls.
- Caliborn/Calliope: Some sort of asexual green anal hair. He/She share the same body. This thing represents the Homestuck fandom. Calliope is a whiny fangirl bitch, while Caliborn is a dUmb angry fag who later becomes a giant goddamn demon asshole.
The gigantic prick of an author:
- Andrew: The other Mr. Hands. Faps to his own characters and claims he will be yours if you give him a horse
to fuck. For more confirmation of the author not having a life, he decided to add himself as a character.
"Shipping"[edit]
This is the only reason anyone reads this piece of cocksalad. Andjew has admitted this himself. He's even invented 3 other types of sex practices to accommodate for them. They are as follows:
- Kismesis (♠): Where you fuck someone you don't really like to give them STDs. Bonus points if they die.
- Moirail (♦): Friend Zone
- Matesprit (♥): Sex with someone who is not quite pathetic enough, deeming them as an acceptable cock sleeve for desperate losers.
- Auspistice(♣): Essentially a threeway with two people who couldn't do it alone without it looking too gay.
What Time Is It?[edit]
Andrew approves.
Jew in the headlights
This a rough approximation of Homestuck's character development.
Also, bestiality.
Also, cripple porn.
Also, pedophilia.
What every HS fan dreams of. Still more acceptable than bronies' fantasies.
Anime Cons: Ruined Forever
The average Homestuck panel.
HOT TITTIES
The
Jew
Himself
Piss Porn
EVERYTHING IN A NUTSHELL
Promoting healthy eating.
LOOK @ JAKE EAT THAT WHOLE SANDWICH HE’S GETTING MAYO ALL OVER HIS FACE WOW HE MUST BE HUNGRY
External Links[edit]
- The terribly formatted homepage
- This is where most of the aspies wander
- Another shitty wiki full of aspies. Go ahead, just look
- Aspie proof source
See Also[edit]
- Webcomics
- Fandom (Currently not on the Top Ten Worst Fandoms list)
- My Little Pony, one of the things worse than MSPaint Adventures.
- Newgrounds - on 10/25/11, Hussie uploaded a flash file on to Newgrounds. Cue his fangirls driving up the site traffic so much that Newgrounds crashed.
- TL;DR
- Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, one of the actually decent things Andjew pissed out of his narrow urethra.
- Tumblr Where the majority of fans are.
- Undertale, a furry game made by a guy who did music for homestuck
|
MSPaint Adventures is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
|
MSPaint Adventures is part of a series on Tumblr.
| |||
|
| MSPaint Adventures is part of a series on Dying Alone
[]
| |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Featured Article April 14 & 15, 2019 | ||
| Preceded by Wikileaks |
MSPaint Adventures | Succeeded by Jeremy Hambly |
