ChristianHillbilly
Christianhillbilly is a crazed neo-con fundamentalist and college dropout who enjoys using Stickam and YouTube to prey on those who do not accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. CHB is known on the internets for agreeing with and supporting the KKK on several different issues such as: homosexuality, evolution, and gay marriage. When CHB is not busy using the KKK as a source of information, he often can be found promoting the American Family Association or the Ex-Gay Movement. While it is difficult to understand what CHB true intentions are, it is very clear CHB is a crazed redneck whom was most likely abused as a child, and who seeks to continue the cycle of violence by raping as many Stickam heathens he can get his hands on. According to CHB, his parents never got along and often ignored him. Many have theorized that these revelations and parental neglect have to caused CHB to become a camwhore. Surprisingly, CHB considers himself a "Christian Mortgage Broker".
Contents
A Christian with an Online Mission[edit]
While CHBs online history is scattered and relatively unknown, after extensive EDiot research a timeline has been drawn. CHB has spent close to ten years ranting and raving about homosexuality on Yahoo Chat Religion One. During this time he made several e-frienemies and delivered several online sermons about the evils of sex before marriage. Nevertheless, as soon as some faggot told him about Stickam, he bought a webcam and the world wide web was never the same again. (Sadly, that same faggot told him about YouTube, too). Today, one can find CHB crying alone in some god hates fags chat room, while trying to explain to his church, Northside Christian Church, what the fuck he has been doing online all this time.
Did You Know[edit]
- CHB is a fan of Pastor Donnie Davies.
- Many argue CHB is obsessed with the idea of Jesus due to neglect.
- Deeply fears the theory of evolution, the Galapagos Islands, and fossils of prehistoric man such as homo-erectus.
- Christian Hill Billy has ties to the ex-gay movement and Ted Haggard.
- CHB's own church won't let him preach. That's why his "online" mission is a big secret.
- CHB claims to live near Louisville, KY but is actually closer to Sellersburg, Indiana.
- Believes that Islam is a cult.
- Jim repeatedly has stated he wants to quote, "cure and cleanse.. homosexuals".
- Believes using Stickam will help him "spread the good news" that god is dead (and no one cares).
- Barber often tells strangers on Stickam how horrible his childhood was.
- Rumored to be directly related to Ernst Roehm, German military officer and the commanding co-founder of the Nazi Sturmabteilung.
- His wife enjoys making jewelry, but only for straight people.
- CHB is / was a southern baptist
- According to CHB, he has "found the truth". however, the TRUTH is exclusive to him alone. it is rumored the truth is insanity....
- CHB often refers to homosexuality as a "disease of choice". While lulz ensues, CHB drives over to McDonalds to have dinner with Grimace.
- Is member of Northside Christian Church.
Trolling[edit]
- Go to his Stickam profile
- Utilize the following topics -
- If incest is forbidden and God only made Adam and Eve, how did we get here?
- Tell him that the Jews, Christians, and Muslims all believe in the same God. This pisses him off beyond belief. Mention Abraham.
- Ask how old the Earth is.
- Bring up the dinosaurs all the time.
- When he calls you "brother" (and believe me he will) tell him you are gay/black/Jew/Muslim and watch his eyes light up.
- You get banned.
- Proxy + Clear Cookies + New Account.
- Remember CHB is a fan of ED (See below) and loves attention.
- Try 502-939-4742 or Toll Free: 866-799-4742
- ???
- PROFIT
Reaction on Finding His ED Article[edit]
- "Well, that don't make no nevermind to me!"
- "I guess I'm somebody now! [Rustic chuckle]"
See also[edit]
- Attention whore
- Christian
- Completely Heterosexual
- Conservative
- Epic Fail Guy
- fat
- gay
- Hypocrite
- Jesus
- Mark Foley
- Richard Dawkins
- Violetkitty411
External links[edit]
- Barber and Barber Enterprises
- ChristianHillbilly on Yahoo
- ChristianHillbilly at his pyramid scheme
- Northside Christian Church
- CHB on LiveVideo The Promised Land
- perverted justice
- Arkainemage blogs about CHB and hilarity ensues
Dynamic YouTube Clips[edit]
- WARNING:you could go crazy after watching this clip
- christianhillbilly will blow your mind for reals, because HE KNOWS THE TRUTH, y'all!
christianhillbillyETTE aka Chellabear explains that CHRISTIANS DON'T JUDGE, just Y'ALL DO!BALEETED!CHB reminds you how GAY HE ISN'T and HOW GAY YOU ARE!BALEETED!
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