ExoParadigmGamer
ExoParadigmGamer is a gamer who reviews and compares Nintendo and Sega and the rare occasion Microsoft and Sony games on JewTube. In all his videos it is very obvious that he is trying really hard to be a clone of the Angry Video Game Nerd, judging by his frequent use of profanity, his extreme anger cranked up to 11, yelling at high volume levels, and thinking his opinions mean something. If you listen closely, you will see that his anger and emotional instability is 100% real and he is not an actor like AVGN. EPG constantly has a severe whiny bitch temper comparable to that of TheMysteriousMrEnter and Mariotehplumber. We are almost certain this guy must have autism, considering his completely non-existent sense of humour, long winded intros and his love of Sanic. He is one of the few people who actually likes SammyClassicSonicFan.
Contents
Hypocrisy, Sensitivity, and Emotional Retardation[edit]
ExoParadigmGamer claims to have lots of friends on YouTube whom he makes collab videos with, but it appears that he never gets to hang out with any friends in real life. He has no chance of getting a girlfriend or getting laid, as no girl would find incessant bitching about minute details in Mario remakes attractive. He likes to nitpick small insignificant things that don't matter, like the color of Bowser's skin (racist! LOL) in Super Mario World and the gun sound effects in Megaman 7. Whenever EPG comes across a game that he considers too difficult (he sucks at everything), he breaks out into violent fits of rage and expresses a desire to kill anyone who designed the game. He likes to call Nintendo hypocrites for changing the gameplay formulas in Metroid: Other M because he claims Nintendo did this because its predecessor Metroid Prime 3: Corruption was too violent and gave kids nightmares But not realizing that MP3C was full of glitches and unresponsive controls, which Other M didn't have. He thinks the bonus game in Super Mario World is all about sheer dumb luck, when he doesn't even try to time his jumps correctly when playing it. He hates Kingdom Hearts 2 with a burning passion and made a video destroying the disc. Whenever anyone asks him why he hates the game, he refuses to answer (the best reason is because its not sanic or mario). A very good YouTuber named Andrew Higsby one day got sick of EPG's bullshit and decided to call him out. Upon finding out about this, EPG immediately blocked Higsby without even responding, showing what a coward he is. Higsby and his friend MilesLuigi have made several anti-EPG jokes in a few of their videos, which is a good start for the gaming community. After making yet another terrible review about Jak and Daxter the Precursor legacy because emotions he gained a large amount of criticism leading to him deleting it like the little bitch he is.
His Reviews in question[edit]
Exo typically reviews games in a series he Invented ripped from Egoraptor known as Remake or Rebreak. where he compares games he sucks at and compares it to a remake of the same game where he sucks at the game even more than the original game. he gives it a score of 1 to 4, he does this to separate himself from the AVGN but fails on every level.
How to Troll EPG[edit]
- Try to collect all the dragon coins in Super Mario World.
- Tell him that Angry Video Game Nerd is much better than him and he is jealous of the nerd.
- Disagree with him or his gay lover Haedox.
- Defend anything he dislikes.
- Tell him Kingdom Hearts 2 is the best game in the series.
- Tell him Sonic Boom: The Rise of Lyric is worse than Sonic 2006.
- Make any joke or have a good sense of humour.
- Be generally happy and satisfied with life.
- Make fun of SammyClassicSonicFan.
- Tell him most of the special world levels in SMW weren't that difficult.
- Tell him that the bonus stage game in SMW is about proper timing and not pure luck.
- Tell him Megaman 7 is the best game in the series.
- Be a Kingdom Hearts fan (but to be fair, that series does have a shitty fanbase).
- Play any game made by Activision.
Haedox[edit]
EPG's best friend named Haedox, who is equally batshit insane, made a video where he raged about Splatoon and said it was the worst game of 2015. Much like EPG, he used emotion and mockery over facts and logic. As a result, people in the comments flipped their shit and started trolling him. Being the asspies they are, EPG and Haedox interpreted all trolling as cyberbullying (does this sound familiar?) and broke into tears. Needless to say, the trolls continued their wrath to the point where Haedox quit YouTube. This was a smart decision to prevent further making himself look dumb, but EPG was pissed. He made a 30 minute video where he cried like a wimp about the way everyone treated his friend. EPG wasn't the "victim" here, so why the fuck would he cry about this? Unfortunately Haedox decided to return to YouTube thinking he can fight the trolls. So far he has been losing. ExoParadigmGamer on the other hand is unfortunately very popular and never receives criticism, so we urge you to troll him.
External Links[edit]
See Also[edit]
- AlphaOmegaSin
- Mariotehplumber
- SammyClassicSonicFan
- JonTron
- Ulillillia
- Unwarranted self-importance
- BAW
- Bipolar
- Emo
- Attention whore
- HyperCharge
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ExoParadigmGamer is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
