P Diddy
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P Diddy (aka Puff Daddy, Diddy, Sean John and whatever else this nigger calls himself; Powerword: Sean Combs) - is an obnoxious camwhoring gaynigger and Twitter addict who obtained success by secretly conspiring on killing former best friend and part-time Snorlax Bloatorious N.I.G. as a stepping stone to amassing gigantic bags of Jew gold for himself. Unbeknownst to his big fat ego P Dildo's actually an unfunny, untalented hack who is probably best known for using his dumb thug associates to push his horrible music, flammable clothing, rancid cologne, and general niggerty onto society. This is obviously done to get everyone to blindly line his pockets with billions and billions of monies and hopefully become as much of a faggot as his superior white masters. Whether it be the ridiculous products he pimps or his constant attention whoring on every social networking site in existence, one thing is certain: it would probably be in the best interest of humanity if he just stopped, be it him being retired or dead. Few people know that P Diddy suffers from a disorder called AES (Anal Ejaculation Syndrome) in which, upon ejaculation, P Diddy spews diarrhea uncontrollably out of his penis and anus. Like any other dollar-raking rapping chimp he is a bitter, terrible, untalented, and useless person who constantly smells of shit.
Contents
Uncle Tom[edit]
Combs grew up in some dump in the glorious Bronx borough of NYC. Not content with living a life fit for his kind, Combs took advantage of white guilt over a fine institution in which the lazy work for a living and went to private school at the expense of the taxpayers. With this proper education, Combs was able to attend college, where he realized that what he loves to do, more than anything, is to promote anything he can to turn a buck. It was at this time that Combs had an epiphany: that he could whore out shitty, watered-down ghetto music to blacks and white trash wiggers, and effectively squeeze every last dollar out of those who never left the hood and weren't smart enough to realize what he was doing. Diddy assumed that since he was black, he should be able to figure out what real black people liked.
All About The Benjamins[edit]
With his new course in life set, Combs went to work at some shitty record company where he performed various acts of fail. In one such case, he over sold a Heavy D concert, which lead to riots, deaths and lawsuits. In his haste to obtain loot, Combs forgot how groups of Blacks act when they are not under constant supervision. After he was fired from said shitty record company, Combs decided that he needed to be his own boss. So, he trolled around the ghettos of NYC, searching for any local "sensation" and signing them to contracts that were way too tl;dr for the average black mind. Subsequently, noone realized that Combs stood to make a killing if any of these "artists" were to make it big. Combs went on to score a bunch of shit artists such as TLC, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men before finding his true cash cow (and cow-sized man), Biggie Smalls.
Egomania > Dead Nigras[edit]
After a couple of years of whoring around with Biggie, a true money-making opportunity arose and Combs chomped at the bit to get a piece of the action. Apparently, Biggie had stolen all of Tupac Shakur's chickenz and OE at a party. This triggered 2Pac's unfocused black person rage and prompted him to make all sorts of lulzy videos depicting Biggie and Puffy in their natural state. While this made Biggie seethe with similar nigger rage, Combs, being an educated brotha, saw this for the opportunity that it really was. Instead of trying to subdue tension between these two retards, Combs encouraged Biggie to make his own attack videos and thus bring the drama to a boiling point. Of course, this sent record sales through the roof and many bags of gold were acquired. However, Combs forgot to consider the true fanboi mentality of your average negro American. This all culminated with both Biggie and 2Pac being pwned by some insane nigras who would not afraid of anything. But once again, while most people would have seen all this as a tragedy, Combs perceived not only the profit that could be made from this incident, but also a way to let him be in the kind of spotlight that his ego demanded. It was time for the Puff Daddy rapping career to be born.
Global Capitalization[edit]
Ten years ago, Puff Daddy (as he was then known) had a very successful rap career consisting of one or two songs that nobody remembers. If you're thinking, "No, I remember other songs like that one from the Godzilla movie or that other one that sounds like that Sting song," then what you probably remember is the music that he sampled, looped and rapped over. As a matter of fact, Combs was notorious for sampling the music of others and paying ridiculous amounts of money when found out. This came as no shock to people who were starting to realize that "Puffy" was not the hard ass gangsta he portrayed himself to be. He started receiving a lot of criticism for being the Uncle Tom that he was. Combs, being the consummate business man, realized that he needed to sell himself as a tough guy if he was to keep bringing in the chicken. So he went out on a "spree" of criminal behavior that would convince any doubters of his "Bad Boy" image. Some of his escapades included:
- Assaulting another record producer in a nightclub
- Accompanying some gun-toting black person into a NYC nightclub
- Assaulting a Detroit TV personality
- Driving without a license
- Being sued for the name Diddy by some other Diddy in Britain
Despite all this "crazy" behavior, people generally still tend to think that Combs is a faggot pussy and that everything he touches is fail. Realizing this, Combs did what he always does: found the money. He now pimps all sorts of shit and passes himself off as a legitimate business man, leaving his "tough" image behind for a more "gentlemanly" one. Bravo, you fucking Jew.
OMG Internets[edit]
Combs has gone the way of other B-list and declining celebrities by embracing the internet in a desperate attempt to squeeze a few more pennies out of the pockets of any unsuspecting internet users. He has set up accounts on pretty much every social networking platform out there and is constantly updating his tweets, blogs, YouTube vids, Facebook status, and whatever the fuck else he can do to keep forcibly ramming his name down the throats of those retarded enough to look.
Diddy Is A Racist[edit]
In March '09, a memo was sent out that caused much butthurt in the black community. Apparently, Diddy and some shit Vodka company partnered up and were looking for models to help pimp their drinks to wasted business men in swanky Manhattan bars. The only problem is that rich white people want nothing to do with nigresses. Even though the memo reads "light-skinned Africans," blacks raged anyway.
From: info@imperativemgt.com Subject: Promo girls needed!!! To: Date: Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 9:49 PM Ciroc Promotion Ciroc promo is this Friday, March 27, 2009 Time: 3:00pm - 7:00pm and 12:00am - 3:00am Requirements: Race: White, Hispanic or light skinned African American Height: At least 5′6 or taller Size 7 or smaller. This is a cash @ wrap job and the booking will be thru our partner. Please submit asap. Talent will only be contacted if the client is interested in booking you!!! Compensation: $35.00 per hour Imperative Talent Management 3500 Lenox Road, Suite 1500 Atlanta, GA 30326 info@imperativemgt.com www.imperativemgt.com 404-419-2565 Office 404-419-2564 Office
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Camwhore[edit]
Cassie Ventura, one of Combs up and coming stars, recently had her computer hacked, and some topless pics of her were leaked onto the internets. She was all too quick to respond with the following quote from her twitter:
To the eye lacking discernment, she may seem upset, but when you consider that she can't sing worth a shit, sells no records, has already shaved her head trying to get attention and is probably taking it in the ass from Puffy, it's clear that this was nothing more then a poorly veiled attempt by Combs to whore out this talentless slut, who he only keeps around for the pussy.
Diddy on the JewTube[edit]
Previous Video | Next Video
Gallery[edit]
Thinking about rape.
Typical fan.
A critical analysis of Diddy's work.
See Also[edit]
- Attention Whore
- Black
- Camwhore
- Failure
- Rap
- Nigger Manual <-- Owners failed to consult it
External Links[edit]
- Diddy.com where you can get all your Diddy updates.
- YouTube channel where you can all you Diddy updates.
- Youtube for the British since he got sued by some other faggot named Diddy.
- Faggot record label
- Diddyspace
- Tweet tweet
- Diddy Prayers wut
- You stole my diddy.
- imeem
- Failbook
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