Update: KinkForAllNewYorkCity now has a date (Sunday, March 8th) and a venue (the LGBT Center). Our next challenge is finding sponsorships and continuing promotional efforts.
Update: KinkForAll New York City was a stunning success.
As if I didn’t have enough projects going right now, while here in Sydney, Eileen and I had an idea for a social and educational event that will promote positive ideals of sexuality from and to many communities and organizations. The idea is called KinkForAll, and I need your help to make the first KinkForAll event a reality this March. Below is the 411 on KinkForAll as well as links for where to learn more.
Most of all, I need your help to spread the word that KinkForAll event exists. To that end, please copy the flyer text below and post it on your blog(s), send it to any mailing lists you belong to, talk about it to your friends, and generally help get the word out. For this hugely beneficial movement to succeed, it needs enthusiastic participants on the ground—and that’s you!
I should probably also mention that I would greatly appreciate help in spreading the word even if you are not local to New York City. Simply spreading awareness about the New York City-based efforts and getting more people interested in this idea in general will be beneficial for people regardless of where you or they happen to live right now.
Here’s the flyer text to copy:
PLEASE COPY AND CROSSPOST THIS MESSAGE FREELY.
If you have already heard about KinkForAll through the grapevine, then please consider this email a reminder. If you haven’t, then please take a minute to scan this message. You’re receiving this message because someone trusts you to read it with an open mind. Smile! :)
Vitals
======What: A no-limits sex-positive gender and sexuality unconference.
Why: To inspire a creative, interactive and open environment where everyone feels comfortable talking, learning, and being inspired by all kinds of sexuality.
When: March, 2009 (exact date yet to be determined)
Where: NYC (We’re still looking for a venue! Can you help? See ‘Get Involved,’ below!)
Who: Everyone
How much: Free (as in beer as well as freedom)Details
=======KinkForAll is an ad-hoc gathering born from the desire for people of the kink, queer, sex-positive and related communities to share and learn in an open environment. It is an intense event with discussions, presentations, and interaction from all participants. Â (It is inspired by the BarCamp community.)
ANYONE WITH SOMETHING TO CONTRIBUTE OR WITH THE DESIRE TO LEARN IS WELCOME AND INVITED TO JOIN. When you attend, be prepared to share with others. When you leave, be prepared to share it with the world.
A KinkForAll is a special kind of gathering because there are no spectators, only participants. Attendees must give a talk or a presentation, help with one, or otherwise volunteer/contribute in some way to support the event. This is called sharing and we like it. All presentations are scheduled the day they happen—there are no pre-scheduled presentations or keynote addresses. The people present at the event will select the presentations they want to see.
Anyone can present, on any topic related to sexuality. You do not necessarily have to teach a new skill or idea. You might share an experience, review a product, or read a poem. The goal is to start a discussion, make connections, and exchange knowledge. Presentations promoting specific commercial products or companies are discouraged.
Learn more about what to expect at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/WhatToExpectLearn more about the event guidelines at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/TheRulesOfKinkForAllGet Involved
============We need your help in spreading the word. Please help by participating. Here’s how:
1. Get excited by reading the ideas on http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/KinkForAllNewYorkCity
2. Add your name or handle to the list of participants
3. Join the mailing list and introduce yourself by emailing [email protected]If you have access to a venue, or know someone who has access to a venue, please email the [email protected] mailing list with that information.
Still have questions? Read the Frequently Asked Questions at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/FrequentlyAskedQuestionsor email [email protected] for more details.
KinkForAll Online
=================Participate online before the event at your favorite social networking web site.
Homepage:Â http://KinkForAll.org
Google:Â http://groups.google.com/group/kinkforall
Twitter:Â http://twitter.com/KinkForAll
Identica:Â http://identi.ca/kinkforall
Facebook:Â http://www.facebook.com/pages/KinkForAll/40066342762All primary organizational efforts are being coordinated via the mailing list. Join for free and help turn ideas into realities!
http://groups.google.com/group/kinkforall
The flyer text to copy is above this line.
I’ve already been thrilled at some of the inertia that is beginning to build behind this idea. The implications of such a thing happening are remarkable!
One of the things I’ve been frustrated with for a long time is the utter lack of accessibility to young people when it comes to these topics. Sure, we have gender studies courses (if you’re in school—which I am thankfully not), but these are academic circles that have little to no interaction with the wider community. That is terribly sad.
Further, if a young person (or frankly, ANY person of any age) wishes to engage the wider sex-positive community in the places where it has its discussions, this comes with a terribly high price tag. Sexuality conferences run by the sex communities are typically large, expensive, and very intimidating. Many people, not just young people, just don’t have several hundred dollars and a week’s time to dish out going to sexuality events where the primary attraction is…well, having some kind of sex. (We can fuck for free, thank you.)
In response to this, I’d like to bring the ideals and philosophies of transparency with privacy that exist today in the open source/technology communities to the sex-positive communities. I feel this is a natural fit because the power of the people is never so strongly heard as when it is showcasing the power of human sexuality and love. It is a real tragedy that sexuality communities do such a horrendously poor job of taking advantage of available social technology to further their cause. In addition to everything else, starting KinkForAll is also an attempt to help rectify that situation.
This kind of an unconference is not a new idea. If you examine the BarCamp.org pages, you’ll see a massive similarity between them and the pages at KinkForAll.org. This is intentional. I’ve been at BarCamps of various kinds before and the results are always outstanding. I am convinced that replicating the same positive energy is possible for sexuality communities, albeit slightly more difficult because of the novelty of the idea for this group of people.
Such unconference-style gatherings are purposely loosely structured in order to let regional and communal influences permeate the event. That is a good thing. It means that KinkForAll as a concept will evolve in parallel to the notions created by BarCamp. At the same time, it’s important that people who care about the idea and the potential for positive social change that it has are able to guide the concept as an idea in that positive direction. This is why the “rules” of KinkForAll are written so meticulously, and are so carefully generalized. You’ll find several references to the fact that this is not a play event, for example, and that this differs from other events run by the BDSM and related communities in particular, well-defined ways. Again, this is intentional.
If any of this strikes a chord with you, you can read more at the introduction on the mailing list. I also strongly encourage you to participate—the only cost is your time and effort, and you get to decide how much of that you want to spend. The benefits, however, can be immeasurable.
by Jade
18 Dec 2008 at 15:07
Wow, this sounds really cool!
by Sascha
18 Dec 2008 at 16:05
That sounds a lot like Graydancer’s GRUE concept.
You might want to pick his brain for logistical type things.
by Graydancer
19 Dec 2008 at 03:54
Fantastic! So glad to see someone else working with the Unconference model in a sexuality context. I’m going to try very hard to get out there to this event – I’ve run 5 rope-centric “unconferences” in the U.S. and Canada, and the style is amazingly conducive to personal growth. http://www.graydancer.com/the-care-feeding-of-a-grue/
I’ve never been to a BarCamp before, and I was surprised at the 20-minute limitation (our Unconference model basicaly says “you take as long as the experience takes.” This has meant some presentations are 10 minutes, and some discussions have gone for 4 hours. Is there time set aside during the day to facilitate discussions, or is this a “if you like it, talk to me later” kind of event?
Consider me your “midwest publicist” – I’m really excited to see someone else running with this idea.
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by Graydancer » Blog Archive » February, GRUE in Madison, March, KINK for ALL in NYC!
19 Dec 2008 at 03:59
[…] got word from my Davalochka that there’s an event in NYC the following month that also follows the Unconference model (though a different kind of […]
by maymay
19 Dec 2008 at 05:19
@Jade: It already is really cool! Will you be able to join us? I’d love to see you again!
@Sasscha: Thanks for letting me know about Graydancer’s GRUE idea. That sounds similar…yet different. I like it!
@Graydancer: Thanks for the encouragement and the support, and I have to say that I’m also interested in your GRUE concept. I haven’t had the chance to read up about it on your site since Sascha pointed me at it, but I will.
In the mean time, I wanted to respond to the now very frequently asked question “Why are presentations limited to only 20 minutes?” I’ve been getting this question a lot, so I went ahead and answered it on the KinkForAll wiki’s FrequentlyAskedQuestions page. ;)
by Boston Boy
19 Dec 2008 at 11:20
You know, I hadn’t even noticed that the presentations were 20 minutes. That’ll take some thinking. Reminds me of a T.S. Eliot quote: “If I had time, I would have written a shorter letter.”
by maymay
19 Dec 2008 at 13:50
@Boston Boy: I love that quote.
It’s not as diplomatic for me to say it (and it’s potentially NYC-specific so I left it out of the wiki), but another reason the presentations are twenty minutes are because if they’re the usual length that sexuality groups typically run meetings for, what we’ll get at KinkForAll will only be the same exact presentations everyone has already seen everywhere else. While some of those presentations are great, it’s so boring to see the same people present the same thing over and over and over again.
If I can do nothing else about making sure we get interesting people saying interesting things, then at least a time limit will spice things up. I’m not-so-secretly hoping that people who are already have a huge “class list” will take the shorter presentation times as an opportunity to try presenting about something not on their typical “I’m a presenter—I’ve presented AT TES!—and look at all the things I can present on” list for a change.
I’m also hoping people who have never presented before will find 20 minutes a lot less intimidating to fill than an hour or more. Hell, Q&A is often ten minutes, so that’s half of it right there. ;) I’m much more interested in seeing people who I’ve never seen talk before lead a session. It’s rewarding to see many of those people begin to sign up with presentation topics on the KinkForAllNewYorkCity page!
by johannes
20 Dec 2008 at 02:24
hey, great stuff…
just one comment as the organizer of “arse elektronika” (which you link to as a negative example). our entry fee — and we are a 3-day conference with notable international guests — is only 25$. we are partially being supported by european art funding… lucky we.
cheers!
by maymay
20 Dec 2008 at 02:50
@johannes: I wasn’t linking to examples of “negative” conferences. (I wouldn’t do bad conferences the favor.) Arse Elektronika, in particular, is a conference I’m aching to attend! As you mention, however, Arse is a gigantic three-day event with notable international guests. That, right there, is almost the antithesis of what I want to see happen with KinkForAll. That doesn’t mean large conferences with notable international guests aren’t great—they are—but there are already so many of them. KinkForAll doesn’t intend to compete with those conferences; both styles are simply filling very different needs.
In case you’re not yet aware, I plan on attending the next Arse Elektronika in 2009. If you’re there and happen to see me, please say hello! I’d love to meet you. :)
by johannes
20 Dec 2008 at 03:38
oh, thanks for quick response. and thanks for clarifying… i really like your concept…
would love to meet you at arse elektronika 2009…
cheers!
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by Dominatrix Next Door » Holiday Reading Roundup
22 Dec 2008 at 12:07
[…] power couple Maymay and Eileen (who are once-and-hopefully-future NYC residents) are pioneering an innovative NYC event called Kinkforall. Check it out, repost, and make space in your calendar for March! I think it’s a […]
by subversive_sub
24 Dec 2008 at 06:32
This event sounds like a *lot* of fun…is there a date set, yet?
by maymay
24 Dec 2008 at 12:45
@subversive_sub: We’re more or less confirmed March 8th on the mailing list. Barring any major problems (such as no venue available on that date), that’s when you can expect KinkForAllNewYorkCity to happen. :)
by Dawn
30 Dec 2008 at 09:41
This sounds brilliant….
But.. the thought that haunts my event-planning-existence…
Location??? How can you make this happen in a publicly advertisable setting (so anyone can attend – goodness knows I don’t want a bunch of strangers in my living room) without cost for location rentals?
by maymay
30 Dec 2008 at 14:31
@Dawn: Location is a tough nut to crack, so to speak. I’m still hopeful that the more the word spreads, the more likely we are to have someone able to connect us with an appropriate venue and who also thinks this is a great idea and wants to participate.
Barring that, I’m well aware that it might come down to cost, and there is some discussion on the mailing list about what that will mean. The jist of it is if it happens organically great, and if it doesn’t then a group of us (likely the unorganizers) will make sure it happens some other way. I’m ready to plonk down extra time and, if it comes to it, money, to see this event through but I also remain steadfastly against the idea of creating a pricing model for participation. No fees for participants—period. And no requests for donations at the door, either.
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by Graydancer » Blog Archive » Ropecast 03-10-09: Maria Shadoes & More!
10 Mar 2009 at 21:22
[…] KinkForAll […]
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by Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed › The Internet made me a sexual freedom activist in 2009. Now it’s your turn.
11 Jan 2010 at 00:47
[…] month after starting MaleSubmissionArt, which took all of 2 hours (literally), I introduced the concept of KinkForAll, an ad-hoc sexuality “unconference” with the potential to greatly empower sex-positive […]
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by Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed › Celebrate Sexual Freedom in Rhode Island! Come to KinkForAll Providence!
03 Feb 2010 at 18:42
[…] KinkForAll began because sexuality communities had a real need to mix and mingle in a non-eroticized environment where the exchange of ideas took precedence over the exchange of bodily fluids. More than that, it spread because early participants recognized the need for this country’s (and perhaps the world’s) public discourse about issues relating to sexuality to engage everyone—not just activists—about sexual freedom and diversity. […]
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by Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed › My opinions on youth at KinkForAll unconferences
14 Apr 2010 at 11:25
[…] that many people look to me for guidance, leadership, or simply information, perhaps because I helped originate the KinkForAll concept or perhaps merely because I am already vocal. I write this now as both an adult who was once a […]
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by Invisibility versus Illegibility: KinkForAll shows how “kink†is everything you didn’t know it can be « Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed
28 Feb 2012 at 01:44
[…] many ways, KinkForAll (“KFAâ€) faces illegibility problems: Maymay and Sara Eileen organized the first KFA in New York in 2009, I believe, and it has happened in several other cities around the US since. It’s an awesome […]
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by Invisibility versus Illegibility: KinkForAll shows how “kink†is everything you didn’t know it can be | Good Vibrations Blog
26 Apr 2012 at 17:29
[…] many ways, KinkForAll (“KFAâ€) faces illegibility problems: Maymay and Sara Eileen organized the first KFA in New York in 2009, I believe, and it has happened in several other cities around the US since. It’s an awesome […]