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[cw: Contrapoints, transphobia, biphobia, doxxing, abuse, harassment, K*w*f*rms, etc. etc. etc. etc.]

Well, it's been a solid two days of waking fucking nightmares, and also the regular kind.

So, let's talk about it.
Contra's got me actively fearing for myself, and also for my family (and here's how).
Alternate title:

Contra told a *million* people that I "might be" a Nazi who's "just pretending to be trans." A screenshot of Contra's video, currently sitting at one million views.
Now, keep in mind, Contra's a relatively wealthy woman with just over 800,000 YouTube subscribers

and almost 11,000 paying patrons.

Meanwhile, I have 662 Twitter followers and holes in my mouth where teeth used to be. A screenshot of Contra's Patreon, currently sitting at 10,992 paying patrons.
Anyway, in her video, at 33:35, she quotes a series of three consecutive tweets of mine,

starting here.

So, um,

I've actually had her blocked for a long, long time.

Definitely at least a year.

Maybe two.

So, the fact that she was able to see these tweets at all,

to begin with,

means that she was namesearching *around* my block, specifically trawling for content.
Which is a hell of a thing.

Like, I blocked her because over the course of a couple years, her work became just

incredibly fucking triggering for me.
But she's so fucking omnipresent in pretty much *every* online trans space,

it's basically impossible to fully escape her stuff.
So, the block was there to give me at least *some* protection against being blindsided?

For a while, I also actually muted her name.

But here we are.
Also,

I feel like, after a certain point, she must have been watching *me*, very specifically,
because,

later in the video,

she also quotes *this* tweet,

which got literally *five* fucking retweets in its *entire* fucking lifetime,

and also contains no big, hot, easily searchable keywords.

I mean, unless she was fucking sitting here,

combing through literally *every single fucking mention* of "Olly" or "Philosophytube" or "trans people."
Put a pin in that.
Anyway, Contra reads my tweets

about Buck Angel's famously petty, spiteful act of transphobic violence against Lana Wachowski,

which, yes, could have *easily* gotten her killed,

and argues that we shouldn't care.
In fact, not only should we not care -- we shouldn't even check to see if it's true.

Because that "reminds" her of what "creepy stalkers who hate trans people do."
You know, digging through the archives, looking for dirt.
But let me remind you,

Buck's comments exist in the media

because he *sold them to the media*.
He deliberately went on a fucking tear through the entire fucking tabloid circuit,

eventually reaching as high as Rolling fucking Stone.

He "exposed" Lana,

very, very publicly,

specifically to punish her.
*Doing* that is apparently fine, whatever. Be a guest on my fucking YouTube show.

Let me gush and gush and *gush* about your fucking "decades" of "good trans activism"

(with absolutely no specifics).
But *talking* about the actual, historical fact

that he *did* do that,

a simple acknowledgement of the fucking harm,

is abusive and stalker-ish?
I'm sorry, *how* did you get to my tweets again?
So, immediately after featuring and responding to three of my tweets,

she asks the audience,

"How can you tell the difference between a trans anarcho socialist with an anime avatar,

"and a Nazi *pretending* to be a trans anarcho socialist with an anime avatar?"
"Well," she says, "you can't.

"Anonymous is anonymous is anonymous, whether it's on 4chan or Twitter."
And I'm honestly not sure she's still talking about me at this point?

Because literally none of those things apply to me?
1) I don't specifically identify as an anarcho socialist.

I don't specifically identify as *any* particular political micro label. I just don't really find it useful.
2) This account has *never* been anonymous.

It has *always* had my name on it.
3) This is not an anime avatar.

This is something I drew in, like, 2015,

when I was playing around with a bunch of different brushes in FireAlpaca.
4) Although I don't use them as my avatar, I *have* posted selfies here.
5) If I *did* use them as my avatar,

well,

you didn't fucking censor anyone's avatars in this video.

Not even the ones that actually *are* real people's actual photos.
So, if my face *was* my avatar, you would have just shown my face

to a *million* people and counting,

*immediately* before saying I might be a Nazi

*and* a fake trans person.
You want to talk about abusive, TERF-y tactics?

How about that?

How about stalking the tweets of an autistic trans person with 600 followers,

screencapping them out of context,

broadcasting them to a literal fucking *million*

a *million*

of your own fucking fans,
and telling them all that the autistic trans person is the "real" Nazi

and also maybe not even really trans?

How about fucking that?
Like, I'm not sure if you *are* talking about me,

because, factually,

all of this is fucking bullshit.
But it certainly *sounds* like you're talking about me.

'Cause you haven't changed gears at all.

I'm still the last person you quoted,

you're still in the same "bit,"

and you're still responding to the thing I brought up.
Like, really, this has two potential outcomes.

a) People take what you're saying at absolute face value

and cheer you on as you take down the faceless fake trans person you've turned me into,
or

b) They Google the tweets you so, *so* helpfully provided the *full* fucking text for,

find my actual Twitter page,

and then, whoops, all of a sudden, I have Contra stans on my Twitter page.
Like,

let me lay this out.

Those tweets in the video have all been up for two months already. They've been up.

They've been out there.

They've been seen.

They're old news, more or less.
And, yes, when they were new, I got hate.

Yes, I got abuse.

Yes, I even got other big YouTubers, reactionary dipshits like Peter Coffin and shoe0nhead,

"liking" posts that talked shit about me.
(That's why I went ahead and blocked as many of Peter's followers as it would let me).

But nothing like this.

I've been in protected mode for two days straight.

Nothing's ever done that before.

Nothing's ever been that bad.

Not till this.

Not till you.
Did being featured in Contra's video

result in a noticeable uptick in abuse and harassment directed my way?

Unmistakably, yes.

And I was soon as I went protected on Twitter, it started flowing over into my Tumblr.
And that put me in the position of wondering where it was going to stop.

Were they going to get my phone number?

My address?

My work?

Fun thoughts.

Fun, fun things I have to live with now.
She closes out this segment by telling me,

or this hypothetical thing she's created adjacent to me,

"Shut up and go back to K*w*f*rms,

"where you belong."
So.

Let me tell you.

I've never checked, because I know I wouldn't be able to handle if it I did,

but I wouldn't be surprised if K*w*f*rms actually *had* a page about me.

I don't *know*.

I don't *want* to know.

But I wouldn't be super fucking surprised.
[cw: suicide]

I'm autistic.

I'm trans.

I've always been *very* online, growing up,

and for pretty much my entire fucking life (at least for the chunk of it that I can actually remember),

I've had groups of people trying to goad me into suicide.
I've seen whole fucking group chats where they fucking plan it.

So, yeah.

I wouldn't be surprised.
If I didn't have one before, I probably fucking do now.
Oh, and then she notes,

"I'm saying this in the c*ntiest way. And they deserve it! They deserve the c*ntiness!"
Gosh, I wonder why my DMs across two sites are full of abuse right now.
Anyway, I can feel myself fading fast.

I might come back and talk about that Olly thing we put a pin in later.

Or I might just go on protected again.

We'll see how this shakes out.
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