- Loki: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"
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- Loki: What is it going to take for you to open the bridge? Gold? Blood?
- Heimdall: Your name and password
- Loki: My name is Loki of Jotunheim, and my password is divine right. Now open the fucking bridge.
- Loki: Let's say you're right-
- Odin: Let's. Since I am.
- Loki: Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Thor: Why?
- Loki: To get to the idiot's house
- Loki: Knock knock
- Thor: Who's there?
- Loki: The chicken
- Thor: *tackles him*
- Loki: Hold the fuck up I say
- Loki: I'm the fuck up.
- Loki: Please hold me.
- Loki: You tried to drink the entire ocean thinking it was wine?
- Thor: Is that judgment I'm hearing?
- Loki:
- Loki: Pride
- Loki: Honestly I really like guys--
- Thor: *gasps*
- Loki: -sers, geysers. One of Asgard's natural beauties.
- Thor: Oh *starts to drink water*
- Loki: I also really like dudes.
- Thor: *splashes water all over his face in shock*
- Loki: Odin seems to like Thor, which means I should probably stop being so mean to him.
- Thor: *arrives*
- Loki: Great, the dickish one is here.
- Thor: I need to ask you something.
- Loki: What?
- Thor: Do I have a nice ass?
- Loki: If we're being honest--
- Thor: We're not
- Loki: I have very high standards.
- Sigyn: *doesn't try to murder him*
- Loki: Shit, she's meeting all my standards.
- Loki: I'll make the coffee just like you!
- Hela: Bitter? Tasteless? Dark? Not up to society's standards?
- Loki: ....I meant sweet.