To celebrate Mariah Carey’s new album The Elusive Chanteuse here are her best worst lyrics

But then, it is no surprise that an album that is titled Me. I Am Mariah ... The Elusive Chanteuse would contain some curious lyrics.

Here are some of our favourite Careyisms, new and old.

The elusive chanteuse herself ... Mariah Carey in concert. Picture: SplashSource:Splash News Australia

“Put all of your sh-- in the elevator, it’s going down like a denominator.”

From It’s a Wrap

We saw Mariah knew how to handle frictions when she clashed with Nicki Minaj on American Idol last year, but clearly she knows how to handle her fractions as well. This song from the deluxe edition of Chanteuse (you know because Mariah sings ‘now for the deluxe’ before it starts) is a duet with fellow note launcher Mary J Blige.

“Now Mariah, you know I love you, I love you all my life, but I wouldn’t be a friend or even a fan if I didn’t give you the real. You’ve been hanging on to this dude, knowing he doing you dirty. Why don’t you just cut this guy loose? Tell him it’s a wrap cos you’re better than that. And you Mariah Carey. Remember?”

From It’s a Wrap

This is actually how Mary J Blige introduces the lyrical premise of dump-a-thon It’s a Wrap -even though it sounds like a line of dialogue out of Mariah’s movie Glitter. Or a 2014 celebrity update of Charlene’s I’ve Never Been to Me.

“Money … don’t mean nothing other than jets on holidays and chefs with hollandaise.”

From Money

What (kinda) rhymes with holidays? Now you know. Makes a change from Gwyneth Paltrow and her chefs whipping up organic kale cupcakes.

“If it’s a camera up in here then I best not catch this flick on YouTube.”

From Touch My Body

Was this the first shout-out to YouTube in a hit single? Mariah also sings about someone “stunting on your Instagram” on her new song Thirsty. You don’t get that on an Adele album.

“Got you all fired up, with your Napoleon complex, seein’ right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex.”

From Obsessed

This was the song she reportedly wrote about the vertically-challenged Eminem who had been saying they had a sexual history. Windex have yet to add a warning on their label about the dangers of using it as part of your hygiene routine.

“Go to ‘Mimi’ on your contacts, press delete.”

From The Art of Letting Go

Not just third person, in this song Mariah refers to herself by her alter-ego name Mimi — is that fourth person?

Carey and co ... Mariah likes to post photos of her twins on Instagram.Source:Supplied

“This is for real, for real, for real, Oprah Winfrey, whole segment, for real, for real

20/20, Barbara Walters, for real, for real, 60 Minutes for real ...”

From Betcha Gon’ Now

This duet with R Kelly on the deluxe version of Chanteuse (like Gaga, Mariah has buried her collaboration with Mr Kelly considering he’s on the nose publicity-wise once again) sees Mariah reference the oh-so-real world of American TV journalism to underline just how over a relationship is.

“Not even a nail technician with a whole lot of gel and acrylic can fix this when I break.”

From Up Out My Face

Anyone else think Mariah Carey may have an in-house manicurist?

“I thought we had something special, we had something good but I should have had another mechanic under my hood.”

From Up Out My Face

This song just keeps on giving. Hope the shunned mechanic washed his grubby hands and took his tools with him after he finished his work under Mariah’s high-maintenance hood.

In her face ... Carey and husband, TV host Nick Cannon. Picture: Christopher PolkSource:Getty Images

“If we were two Lego blocks even the Harvard University graduating class of 2010 couldn’t put us back together again.”

From Up Out of My Face

Even Mariah laughs after she sings this. Phew.

Me. I Am Mariah ... The Elusive Chanteuse is out now