GirlDetective and The Case of the Flattening Curve

@GirlDetective

Tinker, tailor, soldier, sigh.

 
Joined January 2009
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  1. Retweeted
    Mar 16

    Let's sit with one of the reasons why 8 Asian women were murdered tonight. Because they are among the most vulnerable of us, and the shooter knew it.

    80 replies 16,528 retweets 62,808 likes
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  2. Mar 7

    I don't have a dog in the Scottish football fight per se, but I'm really pleased for Stevie, he deserves it.

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  3. Mar 2

    Seems like a mouthful just to say "Italian" and "Eastern European."

    "I don't see race!! I don't care whether you're
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    4 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    Mar 1

    March 1st 2020 vs March 1st 2021

    807 replies 84,063 retweets 549,562 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Feb 13

    If you can’t get 10 Republican votes to convict Trump for inciting a deadly insurrection in the damn Capitol, you aren’t going to get 10 Republican votes for much of anything worth doing and you should get rid of the filibuster immediately.

    298 replies 14,197 retweets 80,075 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    Feb 14

    Roses are red, Florists deliver,

    62 replies 2,774 retweets 12,408 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Feb 13

    Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul would have voted differently if the people who stormed the Capitol looked like me.

    6,275 replies 34,801 retweets 299,835 likes
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  8. Jan 30

    I just choked on my fucking tea

    If I wanted a shy black right winger I’d sign Van Jones
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  9. Retweeted
    Jan 28

    “Ted Cruz should resign” is a unity platform.

    419 replies 11,215 retweets 104,997 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    Jan 20

    What an absolutely remarkable photo.

    1,134 replies 35,888 retweets 313,170 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Jan 20

    Garth Brooks ordering everyone watching to sing along with "Amazing Grace" like I know the words. Follow it up with "Hinei Ma Tov" and then we're talking

    9 replies 4 retweets 84 likes
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  12. Jan 20

    Can we just refer to Trump as "winter of peril" from now on? Dangerous, lots of blowing around, white...

    11 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    Jan 20

    Not one “loser” or “nasty” in this speech. Nice.

    2 retweets 5 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Jan 20

    Biden should call for unity; he's the president and that person shouldn't be a petty asshole. But, as a petty asshole, I personally want revenge.

    93 replies 539 retweets 5,498 likes
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  15. Jan 19

    I honestly didn't realise it was statistically possible for one government to consecutively make this many poor choices about a single national safety issue. A trained monkey throwing darts at options on a wall would have had a better chance at landing on something viable.

    Interesting fact. The UK has the highest Covid death rate in the world and not a single minister has resigned.
    1 retweet 2 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Jan 13

    Love it

    5 retweets 30 likes
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  17. Jan 13

    "First they cancelled PewDiePie, and I did not speak up, for I was not a gamer..."

    2 likes
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  18. Jan 13

    —Excerpt from The Cancelling by Jim Jordan, coming out later this year, NOT published by Simon & Schuster

    10 likes
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  19. Jan 13

    Pelosi illuminates a pentagram on the chamber floor and beckons forth the squad "Shall he be cancelled?" she shrieks from behind her mask. "Cancel him! Cancel him!" they chant in unison. "No! Let me speak!" Jordan cries. But it's too late. In the distance, a bell tolls.

    Republican Rep. Jim Jordan is railing against "cancel culture," saying that Democrats want to "cancel" Trump and that only one side is being allowed to talk and participate in debate. (He is, clearly, currently talking and participating in debate.)
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    2 replies 5 retweets 41 likes
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  20. Jan 12

    God, I'm such a hipster.

    Me to the movers packing up my house: Hey, do you guys want some music? Removal team: Sure. Me: *cranks up the volume on some banging sea shanties*
    5 likes
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