Double decker airplane seats.

dukeofbun · 2022-06-15T00:40:52+00:00

Oh no no no the shareholders wouldn't like that at all

dukeofbun · 2022-06-13T20:16:09+00:00

not even for the squeezy bottles, what a load of crap

dukeofbun · 2022-06-11T19:03:44+00:00

Based on this I'd wager he would come back with the gun and find a way to choke on it or something.

What a tit.

dukeofbun · 2022-06-11T12:36:54+00:00

I wish I could expand on this in a meaningful way but some people are just arseholes.

dukeofbun · 2022-06-09T08:26:51+00:00

I'm going to stop reading before That Guy turns up to explain how this is a terrible idea and will lead to a broken chair/ bad back/ collapse of civilization

dukeofbun · 2022-05-31T09:30:14+00:00

I don't really care for any story that seems to revolve around a huge power differential; the seven feet tall mighty alpha man god and the petite clueless 22 year old pixie he's suddenly fixated on.

This rears its ugly head in many forms. Billionaires. BDSM. The boss. The bodybuilder/ athlete (unless we're matching him with a similar type not a five foot tall wisp of of a thing). Anything that involves his cruelty towards her being framed as something arousing.

It's not. I do wish there was more than just the same generic couple in different but formulaic plotlines. I know tropes exist for a reason and that's not my issue.

It's more like, okay so we know what the 28 year old rugged billionaire CEO and the "not like other girls" short and cute and clumsy 22 year old would do in this scenario. We got the message okay. There's spanking, it's apparently very hot. Blah blah.

Riddle me this: how does it look when we have a 41 year old guy who's just gone through a horrible divorce and wasn't the victim, and he meets a 42 (GASP) year old woman who isn't cutesy or tiny or needlessly sassy. How does it go for them?

dukeofbun · 2022-05-21T09:10:39+00:00

She could shut them down. She doesn't want to.

You will know better than we do why that is. Attention? Insecurity? Playing games?

dukeofbun · 2022-05-21T09:08:05+00:00

The lack of remorse is alarming.

dukeofbun · 2022-05-20T00:41:53+00:00

(reads extremely familiar sounding blurb)

...

"do they bang tho?"

dukeofbun · 2022-05-18T17:14:14+00:00

"why aren't more people talking about The Wire?!"

Me in 2016

dukeofbun · 2022-05-17T22:49:14+00:00

*looks at all the words below the waterline"

"i aint reading all that shite, scrolly scrolly scroll awayyyy"

dukeofbun · 2022-05-17T22:35:03+00:00

It's a blessing.

About eighteen months ago, my cousin died very suddenly. She was a year younger than me and hitting every milestone I was hitting just slightly after me. She got married about a year after I did. They bought their first home about 18 months after we bought ours. We'd just had a baby. She was pregnant when she passed.

A normal, forgettable life is what she doesn't get to have.

She doesn't get to assure her husband that she can barely notice his hairline receding, she doesn't get to drive a sensible car with decent mileage to go see her parents. She doesn't get to hold the baby she was carrying, she doesn't get to complain that her toddler keeps demanding Baby Shark on repeat.

Normal is a privilege not granted to everyone. And there's no rhyme or reason why she doesn't get to be here and I do. I'll take it.

Besides, I think forgettable applies to everyone. You can be prolific and important and people will only ever remember a cariacature of you, the real you... just as forgettable as everyone else.

dukeofbun · 2022-05-17T16:25:58+00:00

Yeah, almost three years ago.

We have a toddler and I can confirm that pirate was an APT choice there

dukeofbun · 2022-05-16T23:42:33+00:00

every time I'd get a negative pregnancy test I'd send my husband a pic of the test with baby... baby... lemon

dukeofbun · 2022-05-12T21:14:35+00:00

If only there was some way to refresh the memory of what Wayne Rooney looked like

dukeofbun · 2022-05-11T22:16:54+00:00

gotta fill the time between harassing people on social media

dukeofbun · 2022-05-11T21:55:47+00:00

had 6 tabs open with builders i need to call about the remodel since... ooh I think November 2020

dukeofbun · 2022-05-11T21:54:36+00:00

b o n k y

dukeofbun · 2022-05-11T19:05:15+00:00

Me sitting on the couch next to my husband after the kid goes to bed, just trembling with the anticipation of telling him about my new hobby.

His thousand yard state, I can practically hear hello darkness my old friend playing in his head.

dukeofbun · 2022-05-11T16:38:25+00:00

Oh yeah that person goes on the "no way I could have SWORN I replied to your text" list

dukeofbun · 2022-05-07T00:02:18+00:00

No it's baby uncle fester, the whitest baby of all

dukeofbun · 2022-05-06T08:29:30+00:00

wait... maybe this is a future map and we're underwater because it melted?

a prophecy rug

dukeofbun · 2022-05-05T23:02:01+00:00

Mine is super into pouring so you need to be ON IT when you leave anything around her.

Pouring juice into the lid of the bottle.

Pouring fries from bowl to cup to bowl to cup to...

Pouring water into the cutlery holder

Pouring chili into her rice... but doesn't like it when chili touches the rice.

Pouring water into the chili rice mix

Pouring a jar of olives into the same plate

Good times. Good times.

dukeofbun · 2022-05-05T20:22:41+00:00

Talk is cheap. Anyone can say anything, make a promise with no intention of sticking to it.

What he says is irrelevant. Listen to his actions not his words.

dukeofbun · 2022-05-05T20:11:25+00:00

The jfc

dukeofbun

TROPHY CASE

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