Exultate Justi
Monday, February 07, 2005
 
Dry Creek & University


Standing here, outside a Papa Murphy's store across from Arapahoe High School, I'm struck by two things; the coldness of the air as it brings tears to my eyes, and steals away my breath in ghosts that disappear into the buzzing halogen lights of the parking lot, and the surreal way in which this area - an area in which I've lived since 1978 - is just like every other neighborhood. It's a microcosm. It contains elements of both the familiar - those things that a time traveler from 1985 would recognize in an instant, and the new - poignant reminders that no matter how fresh our memories, time is not a static thing.

That Albertson's? Used to be a LaBelle's. Well, actually, LaBelle's was owned by BEST, so it later took on its parent firm's name. You know...BEST Products? Kinda like a Service Merchandise, but with stores that featured some crazy architecture. My friend Bill Benham and I once bought cap guns there. They were really slick, and looked exactly like real rifles. We bough ourselves a couple of hundred rounds worth of caps, and set forth to recreate Red Dawn. If the godless Soviet hordes picked the Southglenn Mall area to invade, we'd teach 'em a lesson or three.

Bill's in Iraq now - an Army medic.

Next door to that BEST was a Fred Schmid electronics and appliance store. The chain has long since faded away, but aside from the commercials, I don't remember much about it anyway. 11 year-olds don't have much use for new Frigidaires.

Just up University - to the north - lies Southglenn Mall. Mercifully, it's still there, though it's changed much in the past 20 years. The Cherry Knolls theater - from which Bill and I emerged into a raging thunderstorm after viewing that classic of classics, Police Academy III (and gorging ourselves on Godfather's Pizza), is long gone.

So, too, is my favorite childhood destination - Celebrity Sports Center. Celebrity was a venture of the Walt Disney Corporation, built in the 60s:

Q: Why were pre-opening cast members for Walt Disney World Resort traveling frequently to Colorado?

A: The Celebrity Sports Center in Denver, Colo., built by a group of celebrity investors including Walt Disney and Art Linkletter then later purchased by Walt Disney Productions, was used as a training ground for employees who soon would be operating resorts at Walt Disney World. Disney sold it in 1979.
By the time my friends and I laid claim to it in the mid 80s, it had long since passed to new ownership, and had become the type of place that seemed to abound in the 80s, but is strangely absent today. It had a massive arcade, a bowling alley, and, best of all, three - count 'em, three indoor water slides, each of which fed into a huge indoor pool. I still remember seeing the commercials when they added the slides - called the Dolphin (yawn - for the little kids), the Barracuda (better), and the Shark. The Shark was it. The trip down was well worth the agony of sprinting barefoot up six switchbacking ramps of unusually abrasive concrete.

I went to countless birthday parties, lock-ins, and assorted other kid goings-on at Celebrity. The memories from those trips are thick in my heart - whether they involve listening to my friend's new Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack tape, and debating the question of Axel F.'s identity (we were ten, so of course, we hadn't actually seen the film), or riding home in my brother's car, listening to him complain about how he didn't feel well. I figured he'd played Tail Gunner one too many times in the arcade. It was appendicitis.

Celebrity set off little kid vibrations in me that could only be rivaled by a trip to Elitch Gardens, which, fittingly enough, still exists, but in a new location, and under new management. Celebrity, as with so many other hangouts from the time - Cinderella City Mall, Crystal's Pizza, Fun Plex (which is now a place called "Fat City", and has reverted to its true 80s glory - but with shinier new colors), the Cooper and Century 21 theaters - is gone now. A Home Depot sits where it once stood. I wonder if the folks working the plumbing section are ever startled by the sounds of kids on water slides, late at night...

The Denver area has changed since the 80s. I still love it here. It's still home, but somehow, it will never be the same. It will never be as good. They say you can't go home again, and I suppose that's true. It's an altogether different thing, I'd wager, when you stay home, but home leaves you.

 
Swamped.


Blog later. Must go now.

Thursday, February 03, 2005
 
No time...


To document the continuing implosion of CU nutjob Ward Churchill. The rest of the RMA is at work, though. My advice would be to head on over to Joshua's place, and just keep scrolling. It gets better and better...

 
On becoming a dangerous man - a meditation for the day


This seems a cheerful world, Donatus, when I view it from this fair garden, under the shadow of these vines. But if I climbed some great mountain and looked out over the wide lands, you know very well what I would see--brigands on the high roads, pirates on the seas; in the amphitheaters men murdered to please applauding crowds; under all roofs misery and selfishness. It is really a bad world, Donatus, an incredibly bad world. Yet in the midst of it I have found a quiet and holy people. They have discovered a joy which is a thousand times better than any pleasures of this sinful life. They are despised and persecuted, but they care not. They have overcome the world. These people, Donatus, are the Christians -- and I am one of them. - St. Cyprian, 258AD
As I've written here before, my men's group - my Band of Brothers, if you will, is working its way through John Eldridge's Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive, which is the follow-up to his earlier work, Wild at Heart.

I have been uplifted, edified, and more than anything else, challenged by both of these books in ways that I can't possibly describe in such a way as to do justice to their transformative effect on both my relationship with Christ, and on the way in which I view that relationship...and my potential as a vessel for His use.

Our society is generally solicitous of Jesus, or, at least, of a version of Jesus that has become the accepted norm in many of our churches, and in American religious tradition. In this, "safer" view, Jesus is but a "wise teacher". A Gandhi-like mystic with compassion for all people, and a generalized "hippie-vibe" about him. The problem, of course, is that this view of Jesus - as a meek, frail, paleo-DeadHead - doesn't square with the Jesus of Scripture.

This was, in short, a dangerous man. One does not inspire the murderous rage of the religious and political leaders of one's day through one's milquetoast-ishness.

In his book, Dangerous Wonder, author Mike Yaconelli writes the following:

Do you want to be just like Jesus? The Jesus of the New Testament was a long way from dull — crying one minute and knocking over tables the next; showing courageous compassion to a fallen victim one day and cursing hypocrites the next; blasting the Pharisees one day for having such a narrow view of adultery, then on the next day forgiving a woman caught in adultery. The New Testament writers continually describe the crowds as responding to Jesus with amazement.

Jesus was a dangerous man—dangerous to the power structure, dangerous to the church, dangerous to the crowds of people who followed Him.

Shouldn’t the followers of Christ also be dangerous? Shouldn’t everyone be awed and dazzled by Christians? Shouldn’t Christians be known by the fire in their souls, the wild-eyed gratitude in their faces, the twinkle in their eyes, and a holy mischief in their demeanors? Shouldn’t Christianity be considered dangerous — unpredictable, threatening to the status quo, living outside the lines, uncontrollable, fearless, wild, beyond categorization or definition? Shouldn’t those who call themselves Christians be filled with awe, astonishment, and amazement?
Many of us, as Christians, catch the most fleeting of glimpses of this other world - this world of wildness, of power, and of life at one point or another, but just as quickly as it appears, it vanishes - leaving us wondering if it was ever in sight to begin with.

I'm not a New Year's resolution-type of guy, really. I find the entire exercise to be pointless. Having said that, I guess I do have a hope for this still-young year. I want to be dangerous.

I want to be open to God - to be open to the exilhiration, the glory, and the awe that attends the life-giving power of Christ as He renews our hearts. I've seen that sort of life, and I want it. Inevitably, the glory will be accompanied by pain. When I was in high school, I was required to memorize the book of James. Since then, I've struggled with the notion of "counting it all joy" when I have faced trials. The veil is parting, however, and it's become quite clear to me that these trials...these attacks are nothing more than roadblocks; obstacles designed to cause me to take my eyes from Christ, and sink into the depths of my own self-led existence. The more dangerous I am to the workings of Satan, the harder he pushes back. If I don't bother him, he doesn't bother me. Complacency is Satan's most potent weapon, but alertness his chief enemy. To be truly alive is to see the world for what it is - a battleground. It is to take the blinders off, and allow the pure, blinding light of Christ to burn off the fog that shrouds the world around us. Jesus came that we might have life - to the fullest. We must merely answer His call.

I have lived the safe life - comfortable in my complacency, safe in the womb of the church, and content to live life as nothing more than "a nice guy". No more. I want my love for Christ to make me His fool. I want my love for my wife and daughter to elicit sideways glances. I want my words, my deeds, and my attitudes to reflect the life that Christ pours out upon all who would merely take Him in. I've no idea what this life will look like, but not finding out is no longer an option.

When we are in hand-to-hand conflict with the world, the flesh, and the devil himself, neat little Biblical confectionery is like shooting lions with a pea-shooter; God needs a man who will let go and deliver blows right and left as hard as he can hit, in the power of the Holy Ghost. Nothing but forked-lightning Christians will count. - C.T. Studd
I'm in. Are you?

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
 
**WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!** Captured Superhero, tank threatened...


In what has become an increasingly dark day for Coalition forces in Iraq, Exultate Justi has just learned that forces loyal to terror mastermind Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi have captured Gotham City crimefighter Bruce Wayne/Batman, and are threatening him with death via M1 Garand, photon torpedo, and Tyrannosaurus Rex if all Iraqi prisoners - including former President Saddam Hussein - are not released within 72 hours.

A picture - provided by Zarqawi's Monotheism and Jihad terror group - appears to show the Caped Crusader - hands raised in a surrender posture - surrounded by a member of the 442nd Regimental Combat Team - his M1 Garand rifle aimed squarely at Batman's head, the Starship Enterprise (NCC-1701A), and a large, carnivorous dinosaur. The picture is provided below, and sources at CBS News have confirmed its authenticity.



Another picture, also just delivered to this blog, shows what appears to be a US M1A1 Abrams Main Battle Tank, threatened by Voltron. Our sources are still working to confirm the authenticity of this picture, but Zarqawi's group released another statement a short while ago, that may allude to the circumstances reflected in this new photo:



In the name of Allah the Merciful, our forces have struck at the infidel's tanks, and have confronted them with the mightiest of all weapons. Should the terrorist occupiers choose to disregard our warnings, we will have no choice but to form Blazing Sword, and slice the infidel armor in half, insh'Allah.

 
Mr. Churchill, you're in rare company


Ever since interest in Ward Churchill's 2001 essay - Some People Push Back - began to perk back up last week, I've been struggling to find the right response.

Many others - including most of the other members of the Rocky Mountain Alliance have commented eloquently and forcefully about this man's repulsive statements. The story, of course, is now receiving national attention, and members of Colorado's academic and political communities have begun to make their own voices heard on the subject. My own thoughts were not so quick to coalesce. After reading a bit more of Churchill's essay, however, I found that it had a familiar ring to it. Pretty soon, it all made sense...

To recap, Churchill - a tenured professor at the University of Colorado, and a member of the American Indian Movement (a group that has, through the years, been responsible for the deaths of several Federal law enforcement officers) - wrote in his essay that the victims of 9/11 weren't truly victims at all, but rather, aggressors, receiving their just comeuppance in payment for American intransigence around the world. He tied all of this tripe neatly together with a description of the men, women, and children incinerated on that dark day as "little Eichmanns". Adolf Eichmann, of course, was the architect of Hitler's "Final Solution", whereby more than six million human beings were murdered in the name of racial purity. The 3,000 or so who died that day were, in Churchill's view, morally responsible for their own deaths. The actions of the 19 terrorists were not merely understandable in Churchill's mind - they were appropriate.

Churchill has since resigned as Chairman of CU's Ethnic Studies program, and has already begun to canonize himself as a noble martyr - punished and threatened by The Man™ - merely for expressing his First Amendment rights. He will no doubt become a folk hero of sorts to the academic Left - a group traditionally so enamored with the notion of rebellion that they see no irony in the use of Che Guavera's image in messages of opposition to what they would describe as totalitarianism. They are, in short, never a group to let so trivial a thing as wholesale slaughter interfere with their fawning, should the slaughterer's philosophical credentials be of the right sort.

Mr. Churchill has company in his surreal little world. Sheikh Omar Bakri Muhhamed - head of the UK's most notorious Islamist group, Al Muhajiroun (The Emigrants), and one of the world's foremost cheerleaders for the events of 9/11 - sounds remarkably similar to the good professor when discussing global jihad with Christianity Today:

We'll begin with the most obvious areas of overlap - the fact that both Churchill and Muhammed believe the American civilian population to be a legitimate target -

Muhammed -
Americans should listen to Muslims who believe in 9/11 and not to those Muslims who do not! "Terrorism" can be either positive or negative—i.e., for or against God. U.S. terrorism in Iraq is anti-God. U.S. voters have joint liability with the government they choose, as do Russian voters in regard to the actions of their government in Chechnya—yet they voted for Putin. Complicity in the acts of one's rulers makes one a legitimate target.
And now Churchill -
True enough, they were civilians of a sort. But innocent? Gimme a break. They formed a technocratic corps at the very heart of America's global financial empire – the "mighty engine of profit" to which the military dimension of U.S. policy has always been enslaved – and they did so both willingly and knowingly. Recourse to "ignorance" – a derivative, after all, of the word "ignore" – counts as less than an excuse among this relatively well-educated elite. To the extent that any of them were unaware of the costs and consequences to others of what they were involved in – and in many cases excelling at – it was because of their absolute refusal to see. More likely, it was because they were too busy braying, incessantly and self-importantly, into their cell phones, arranging power lunches and stock transactions, each of which translated, conveniently out of sight, mind and smelling distance, into the starved and rotting flesh of infants. If there was a better, more effective, or in fact any other way of visiting some penalty befitting their participation upon the little Eichmanns inhabiting the sterile sanctuary of the twin towers, I'd really be interested in hearing about it.
Let's continue with a further look at Muhammed's statements:

Speaking objectively as a Muslim scholar, and not inciting such acts, jihad can be effected outside the battlefield - it is not restricted by time, place, building, event, people, transport food, water (both of which may be legitimately poisoned in jihad), or by clothing; there is no need to wear a uniform.

Any weapons are legitimate in jihad. Even animals may be used as "suicide bombers"! It is not restricted by target - even Muslims or children, if used by the enemy as human shields, can be killed. Only one thing can restrict jihad - a Covenant of Security [Treaty]. Non-combatant women, children, elders, clergy, insane, disabled are restricted, and non-Muslim children go to Paradise. However, if such are killed in crossfire or if used as human shields, they become collateral damage.

Again, speaking objectively as a Muslim scholar, and not inciting such acts, 9/11 was justifiable because America had no Covenant of Security with the Muslims, although Muslims in the U.S. are under a Covenant of Security whereby they may not act militarily against America. Only qualified scholars in fiqh [Islamic jurisprudence] could have planned this, because the 19 used non-Muslim aliases to enter the country (which legally allowed them to act in jihad).

When I heard about it, I prayed to God that no Muslims in America did it because such is haram [forbidden in Islam]. After Al Qaeda admitted responsibility, it was obvious that qualified ulema [Islamic scholars] were behind it. Thus, Al-Qaeda has revived the culture of terrorism in Islam after 200 years.
(emphasis mine)
Sounds rather like much of Churchull's rationale for the attacks. Nice intellectual company you're keeping there, Ward.

Let's go still further, shall we?

In his essay, Churchill says the following:

The peoples of the Mideast "aren't like" Americans, not least because they don't "value life' in the same way. By this, it should be understood that Middle-Easterners, unlike Americans, have no history of exterminating others purely for profit, or on the basis of racial animus. Thus, we can appreciate the fact that they value life - all lives, not just their own - far more highly than do their U.S. counterparts.
So, if Churchill's characterization of both the terrorists' motives and the overall goals of Islam are accurate, Muslim lands should be havens of tolerance, peace, and respect for life, and should exhibit a remarkable lack of totalitarianism, then, right? Hmm. Doesn't quite jibe with this, from Muhammed:

In terms of Islamic jurisprudence, only Muslims are innocent; non-Muslims are not. By default, all non-Muslims are rebel criminals against God. Muslims who engage in interfaith [gatherings] are apostate. God discriminates among man on basis of faith. The jihad is not specifically anti-Christian - it is anti-kaffir.

...if children are killed, the fault lies with the adult occupiers who brought them into a battlefield situation.

...It is halal to kill hostages in a war zone. Regarding what can be done to secure their release, either they or their families could embrace Islam.

...Today there is no Dar al-Islam - the whole world is Dar al-Harb because it is the sphere of non-shari'ah. There is Dar al-Harb in terms of military aggression and occupation.

There can be no end to jihad.

..."The final hour will not come until the Muslims conquer the White House" is a hadith related by Tabarani, a great Muslim scholar. How?

The Khilafah is necessary for offensive jihad, though it could occur if Muslims warred to liberate captive Muslims. Realistically, it will probably occur through intellectual da'wah [Islamic missionary activity]...There could be no non-Muslim judges. Effectively, the Qur'an and Sunnah [practice and narrations of Muhammad related in Hadith] are the Constitution, Shari'ah is the law. The Caliph is chosen by Muslims, whether by popular election, or selection by Majlis as-Shura [Consultative Assembly]. Non-Muslims can enter the Majlis to represent their own community...No private schools will be allowed, and there will be an Islamically influenced national curriculum. No new churches will be permitted, but existing ones will be allowed. Private consumption of alcohol will be permitted, but not its public sale. All state officials must be Muslims, save for the Caliph's assistants to advise him about relations with non-Muslim citizens. Muslims could not convert to Christianity on pain of execution. Evangelistic campaigns would be forbidden, but people would be free to present Christianity on TV, in debates, etc.
Sounds like a happy, magic Candyland to me - that's for sure.

The parallels continue in both pieces. Overall, Churchill and Muhammed seem to be almost completely on the same page in their placing of blame for 9/11, their admiration for the acts committed, and their prescription for the prevention of further violence. The problem, it seems, is us. Just us. Muhammed indicates that a national conversion to Islam, a American declaration of war against Israel, and a general destruction of the country's Judeo-Christian tradition might well go a long way toward earning us an exemption from radical Islam's hit list. Churchill doesn't seem to have a problem with these notions.

Nice to know that I, as a Colorado taxpayer, am helping to pay the $90,000+ salary of a man who has decided to play an active role in supporting our nation's enemies in time of war. Well done, CU. You were hoping for something to take a little of the spotlight away from your scandal-plagued football program. Guess you've found it.

Good to see that Churchill's not lonely in his fetid swamp of depravity and delusion, though. You go on with the martyr gig, Ward. Your intellectual compatriots love martyrs.

 
That's the last time I try to defrag this stupid box...




Idea brazenly stolen from Rich, who snatched it from Suzie, who got the notion here.

Sunday, January 30, 2005
 
Congratulations to the people of Iraq



Thursday, January 27, 2005
 
In over my pay grade...


Thanks to some seriously generous (if delusional) readers, this here blog is in the running in two - count 'em, two - categories at the 1st Annual, spiffy new blog awards shindig - The Evangelical Blog Awards - 2005.

Exultate Justi is in the running in the hotly contested categories of Best Overall Evangelical Blog, and Best Evangelical Blog - Politics. No mention yet of whether or not I'm in the running for Best Adapted Screenplay.

This, of course is the good, nay, great news. I'm quite sincerely humbled and honored to be sharing the "stage" with the big boys (and girls - sorry La Shawn!), which leads me to the bad news, of course.

I'm in the running against folks like Joe Carter, La Shawn Barber, and other assorted luminaries who will likely slap the proverbial taste right out of my mouth, competition-wise, but hey...it's just a massive honor to even be in the running. Thanks to you guys for the nominations. You rock.

On the plus side, if - as is likely barring a planet-level catastrophe that renders the internet connections of my competition unusable - I don't pull off the win, you, my gentle readers, will be spared my altogether Sally Field-like weeping and gushing. Consider yourselves lucky...

 
Obscenity


Today marks the 60th anniversary of the liberaiton of the Auschwitz-Birkenau facility in Poland by troops of the Soviet Red Army. Auschwitz was the most notorious of Hitler's death camps, but it was by no means the only locale for this most satanic of outrages.



Aaron Schwartz - a Polish Jew who survived the Holocaust, describes a scene from Poland's KZ camp Plaszow that would haunt him for the rest of his time on this earth -

(from Holocaust Testimonies - edited by Joseph J. Priel)

When I came to Plaszow the first day, they put me in a group where we were digging a huge grave...they brought in trucks, with children, from infant to twelve years old. They were all killed...when the children were brought in, they were shot, right in that grave...

One group was bringing, with a wheelbarrow, some chlorine powder and putting on, because there was such a tremendous amount of bodies in those graves...

A little girl, a beautiful blond girl, sat down in the grave, dressed in an Eskimo white fur coat, was all bloody, and asked for a little bit of water...this child swallowed so much blood, because it was shot in the neck. And then it started to vomit so terribly. And then it lay down and it says, "Mother, turn me around, turn me around."

This child did not know what happened to it. It was shot, it was half-dead after it was shot. And this child sat down in the grave, among all the corpses, and asked for water...it was still alive. There was no mother, just children brought from the Cracow ghetto.

So this little girl lay down, and asked to be turned around. What happened to it? I do not know. It was probably covered alive, with chlorine...I am sure, because they did not give another shot to that girl..."
As many as 1.5 million children died in the Holocaust. This little girl was but one of that number, and but one of the more than 6 million men, women, and children whose precious lives - made up of so many memories...games played, hugs and kisses given and received, bedtime stories told and listened to...were coldly, methodically, and mercilessly stamped out by the Nazi regime.

At the height of this obscenity, orders were given at Auschwitz, and the other death camps that, in order to save money and Zyklon-B gas, children be thrown directly into the furnaces without being gassed.

Today, a new wave of anti-semitism flows from the festering center of Islamic radicalism, across "sophisticated" Europe, and into the halls of the United Nations itself. It is sometimes open, but quite often camoflaged - buried in the shadows of a flowery, and utterly disingenuous "anti-Zionism". This repugnant philosophy must never again be permitted to flourish. It can never be allowed to breathe, and its adherents must be driven from our midst, and exposed as the monsters that they are.

This evil can never be allowed to surface again.

Never, never again.


Update
Be sure, also, to check out Israpundit's blogburst on the topic.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
 
Evangelical Blog Awards


Evangelical Underground has announced the first-ever Evangelical Blog Awards, featuring awards for blogs of an Evangelical nature, and divided into ten categories, ranging from apologetics to politics.

Check out the details here.

Lots of good choices out there, so get cracking, and nominate someone!

 
USMC - in mourning


Earlier this morning, a Marine Corps CH-53D Sea Stallion (or, as some reports are now saying, a CH-53E Super Stallion) went down in the desert outside the town of Rutbah - around 220 miles to the west of Baghdad (as seen on the map below). The helo was carrying a compliment of 31 troops - all believed to be Marines 30 Marines and one sailor. There are no known survivors.



Ar Rutbah is a town of around 25,000, and, as is seen clearly in the satellite imagery below, is characterized by the rough, sandy terrain that so dominates the central portion of the country. Ironically enough, with 4.7 inches of rain a year, Rutbah is known as a "wet spot".



Iraq is an unremittingly hostile environment for both troops and equipment, and the long distances between major towns, and general lack of major east/west road systems makes light airborne and airlift operations the rule of the day in most cases.

From the Naval Institute's Proceedings -

Long trips are the rule in Iraq. It is more than 350 miles by road from Baghdad to Basra, for example, and about the same distance from Baghdad to the Jordanian border. Airborne light infantry divisions that lack much mobility on land must be motorized, provided ample helicopter supports, or be assigned relatively static missions.

Desert and steppe terrain favors airborne and airmobile operations, although high winds and dust may limit opportunities.
Today's crash happened in the early morning hours, during nightime operations. Due to the obvious security risks involved in daylight operations, many security missions take place during the hours of darkness in which the stresses on both men and equipment are minimized.

Heat likely wasn't an issue, as the highs in Rutbah are expected to reach only the upper 50s all week long, with intermittent cloud cover, and a slight chance of precip.

There is reported to have been bad weather in the area, but cloud cover surveys (seen below) indicate limited coverage. Odds are, the weather wasn't the chief cause of the crash, though peripheral issues like dust (and the potential for wind-whipped dust storms) can't be discounted.



In any case, today has proven to be the single deadliest day for the USMC in Iraq since the onset of hostilities. Our prayers are with the families of the men who were lost, and we, as a nation, grieve with them.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
 
Gonna need stitches to sew up my now-split sides...


Perhaps the single most baffling and hilarious letter to the editor ever penned by an individual not under the influence of narcotics and/or Jolt Cola:

(from today's Rocky Mountain News)

The attempts by columnists Thomas Sowell and Mike Rosen to bash "liberalism" in the Jan. 7 Rocky Mountain News disappointing. The neo-con rant concerning liberal bias has grown tiresome. The argument alleging liberal bias at our universities, as framed by David Horowitz and supported by Sowell is disturbing.

In my debates with neo-cons concerning alleged liberal bias on our campuses, I have consistently asked these questions:

1. Have any studies confirmed liberal bias in the classroom?

2. Have any studies established indoctrination of college students to liberalism?

3. Have any studies established that college curricula promote liberalism?

4. Is the presentation of alternative viewpoints in the classroom liberalism?

5. If a professor is a registered Democrat, then is he or she liberally biased in the classroom?

Predictably, every neo-con I have spoken to refused to answer the first three questions, yet answered "yes" to questions four and five.

This set of five questions reveals the agenda behind the campus crusade to quash liberalism: A single, neo-conservative ideology is what they seek to teach. As such, any viewpoint considered vulgar or offensive to a neo-conservative would be banished from the classroom. Ultimately, their goal is to outlaw curricula that objectively discuss abortion, evolution, women's rights, homosexuality, environmentalism, atheism and the like.

Quite frankly, it is not possible to discuss these issues without making neo-cons out to be the dullards they truly are, intentional or not. If neo-cons wish for greater inclusion in an intellectual community like a university, then it behooves them to become intelligent.

Dave Stahl
Englewood
Now, I know I should know better, but I couldn't help it. Here's my response (sent to the paper, as well):

While Mr. Stahl is certainly welcome to his opinions - no matter how
ill-defined his terms (perhaps he might deign to define what makes one
a "neocon" vs. a "paleocon") - he might want to do a little bit of
research before declaring the quesiton of academic bias answered, and
the matter closed.

In a recent study by Santa Clara University researcher Daniel Klein
(cited by that bulwark of the conservative movement - CNN), Democrats
within the social science and humanities departments of universities
nationwide outnumber their Republican counterparts by a margin of more
than seven-to-one, and, in some fields, as many as thirty-to-one.

In addition, a survey of students at America's top 50 universities (as
taken by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni) revealed that
half of the students in these universities feel that their professors
inject too much political opinion into their lectures - particularly
when the issue at hand has nothing to do with the opinion being
raised, while 31 percent felt that in order to receive a good grade in
the class, they had to conform to a particular viewpoint, as held by
their professor.

Mr. Stahl's central objection - that these sinister "neocons" are
somehow seeking to squelch efforts to ensure a diversity of opinion on
campus - is nothing more than a plu-perfect example of projection.
The problem, despite Mr. Stahl's bizarre assertions to the contrary,
is that as currently posited, the modern day college or university
campus is NOT the hotbed of intellectual diversity that he asserts it
to be. All that one needs to do to confirm this fact is to survey
the myriad studies that have been done on the subject, by any number
of different organizations from across the political spectrum. Yes,
Mr. Stahl, there are more of these studies than you can shake a very,
very large stick at. Perhaps you might want to check into these
things before making so bold an assertion to the contrary.

As both a graduate student, and an employee of one of our state's
finest institutions of higher learning, I can say with confidence that
academia's long-standing resistance to change, and to true
intellectual diversity does not spring from the Right side of the
philosophical divide.

Sincerely,

Jared Keller
Centennial, Colorado

 
Vox Blogoli - Volume 2, Number 1


There is little that is as revelatory of a person’s grounding in reality as that person’s assumptions. In a person's assumptions, one finds his/her mindset, level of knowledge, and, in many ways, credibility laid out for all to see. If one’s assumptions are reasonable, the first – and most important step – in developing a reputation for credibility and believability has been taken.

If one’s assumptions are off, however…

Hugh Hewitt has provided a sterling example of the risks associated with building one’s worldview upon a base of faulty assumptions. He has asked for commentary on a passage from a recent Jonathan Rauch piece in the Atlantic, wherein Mr. Rauch writes the following:

On balance it is probably healthier if religious conservatives are inside the political system than if they operate as insurgents and provocateurs on the outside. Better they should write anti-abortion planks into the Republican platform than bomb abortion clinics. The same is true of the left. The clashes over civil rights and Vietnam turned into street warfare partly because activists were locked out of their own party establishments and had to fight, literally, to be heard. When Michael Moore receives a hero’s welcome at the Democratic National Convention, we moderates grumble; but if the parties engage fierce activists while marginalizing tame centrists, that is probably better for the social peace than the other way around.
One need not be a rocket scientist to follow Mr. Rauch’s assumption to its logical conclusion.

Religious conservatives (you know – those who actually believe in the tenets of whichever faith to which they’ve attached themselves) tend to oppose abortion. Ergo, religious conservatives – should they be denied a voice in the political system – will, by default, resort to violence against abortionists/abortion clinics.

Christian = prolife = support for violence against abortion providers.

This mindset, of course reveals nothing about religious conservatives, but is highly instructive as to Mr. Rauch’s apparent complete and total disconnect from the views, the daily lives, and the core beliefs of such people.

I, as I have made abundantly clear, am ardently pro-life. I would, if I had my druthers, criminalize the vast percentage of abortions that are currently performed in this country. It would, to my mind, be no more than simple justice, were doctors like Boulder’s Warren Hern to be arrested, and tried for murder.

As the situation is currently posited, however, legalized abortion is the law of the land. I will act in whatever manner I can to change the laws, of course, but I will do so within the political system. I would no sooner encourage, support, or cheer an act of violence against an abortion clinic or abortion provider than I would any other act of criminal violence. There is no correlation between a hatred of the act of abortion – built on a foundation of moral instruction and a respect for life – and the commission of violent acts against those who disagree with my position. I suspect that, had he just bothered to look into things a bit, Mr. Rauch would have been able to figure out that the vast majority of pro-life Americans feel the same way.

It is fascinating to discover that Rauch apparently believes both the staunchly pro-life, and the staunchly pro-Moore to exist on the fringes of their respective parties. I have no doubt that Rauch desperately wants to believe that this is the case. After all, if the Republicans – who in 2004 won crushing and comprehensive victories against Democratic candidates across the US – aren’t truly a pro-life party, than there is no national mandate in that direction. Similarly, if the Moore faction of the Democratic Party doesn’t now represent the mainstream of that party, then there has been no lurch to the left, and the Dems aren’t hopelessly out of touch, and sprinting ever harder in that direction.

The problem with these assumptions, of course, is that they’re demonstrably false. The GOP has maintained an official opposition to abortion for decades, and the majority of GOP candidates make no effort to veil their support of this plank in the platform. Similarly, it would be hard to label Michael Moore as representative of the fringes of the Democratic Party, when, at their National Convention, he is seated next to an ex-President of the United States, and has seen his films made part of the accepted canon of the modern-day DNC.

If the reactionary hard-left faction of the Democratic Party is not representative of its mainstream, why, then, is the slightest sign of compromise on the issue of abortion (i.e., the potential selection of Tim Roemer as DNC Chairman, etc.) greeted with shouts of outrage, and threats of rebellion?

Similarly, if the pro-life side of the GOP represents its goofball fringes, why is it that so many pro-life candidates keep getting themselves elected?

While Mr. Rauch’s assumptions are, no doubt, completely indicative of the way he sees the world, they bear remarkably little resemblance to reality.

 
Here's your next Big Martyr...


Shasta Bates. Get used to hearing that name. She'll be lighting up your local radio and TV news as the latest victim of John Ashcroft's Alberto Gonzales' Amerikkka. See, Shasta McNasty here decided a few months back, that it'd be loads of fun to slap a F*** Bush! bumper sticker on her truck, and then drive around and, like, speak truth to power.

Now, she's being held down by The Man™. Have no fear, though - the Denver cop who harassed her is now under investigation.

Whew - for a sec there, it was all Orwell, man.

(Courtesy The Denver Channel)
DENVER -- A police sergeant is being investigated for allegedly threatening a woman with arrest for displaying a profane President Bush bumper sticker.

The "F--- Bush" bumper sticker on 26-year-old Shasta Bates' pickup truck offended a shopping center patron who saw it Monday on Bate's parked vehicle and flagged down Sgt. Michael Karasek, who was patrolling the area.

"He (Karasek) told her that this was a warning and that the next time he saw her truck, she was going to be arrested if she didn't remove the sticker," said 25-year-old Alinna Figueroa, assistant manager of a store at the shopping center where the officer confronted Bates.

"I couldn't believe it," she said.

Police Chief Gerry Whitman said the incident was under investigation. He did not elaborate.

City Attorney Cole Finnegan said there were no city ordinances against displaying a profane bumper sticker.

Bates said she put the sticker on her truck because she disagrees with Bush's stance on homosexuality and other issues.

"I get some older men who pull up at the side of me and start yelling and cussing," she said, adding she's had only a few complaints since placing it on her truck in August.
Thank goodness that the DPD thug is being dealt with. I mean, what kind of sick world do we live in where you can't slap an obscenity on your truck, force other people (especially small children) to read it, and do so without catching any flak? After all - the right to free speech renders any attempt at the development of a moral standard not only obsolete, but downright illegal, right?

Don't like the bumper sticker? Don't read it!

Yeah. Don't like the air? Stop breathing.

Where would we be without people like Shasta? How screwed-up would our culture be without people who are more than willing to use their right to free speech to further coarsen our everyday, mundane lives? How could we possibly function as a society if these bold speakers of truth should ever decide to use...I dunno, restraint, and avoid blasting obscenities across our neighborhoods? Thank goodness for brave, brave, put-upon Shasta Bates: a woman bold enough to resort to both an eighth grade-level double entendre, and the unfiltered use of the king of all obscenities - all on one bumper sticker. Just think of all the opportunities for family discussion that the sight of Ms. Bates' First Amendment-Mobile is sure to present! Woo-hoo!

Daddy? What does "F*** Bush!" mean?

Thanks, Shasta. No. Really. Thanks.

Monday, January 24, 2005
 
Roe vs. Wade - at 32




I'm late in posting this, but really, what new can be said? Roe vs. Wade is now 32. I'm 30. I could have been aborted - legally. Should it have been my parents' desire to preserve their sanity by not adding a fourth child to their already full-family, I might well have never been given a name.

Since the Supreme Court decided that somehow, an undefined "right to privacy" made legal (and implicitly, moral) the destruction of unborn children, more than 40 million abortions have been performed in the United States. More than 40 million voices have been silenced before they could utter their first cries...their first coos. More than 40 million children have existed fleetingly - in the periphery of our society. They have been denied participation in the life that God granted them - all thanks to an arbitrary determination that somehow, a baby who makes it out of the birth canal is, in fact, a baby, while one who is fully delivered - save for the head - is little more than "fair game".

You're on your own, kid.

At 20 weeks of development - the age of the child in the photo above - the unborn baby recognizes his/her mother's voice. What twisted irony...that the one voice that proves most soothing to the unborn child is also the one that can order its death.

My own journey through the wooded landscape of "unwanted babies" has been well-documented here. Unable to have children of our own without the assistance of invitro fertilization (a process that is, in and of itself, fraught with ethical pitfalls), my wife and I decided to adopt - first domestically, and then, hopefully, from China. Our beautiful daughter was born in August of 2003. Her birth mother - a developmentally delayed 31 year-old - decided to give her baby a shot at a better life than she, herself had had. She remains a hero to me.

I am often accused of insensitivity toward women who have chosen to abort. This is not the case. I have friends who have had abortions, and admire the people that they have become. Without exception, these women (I have known more than one) have become amazing, vivacious, and Godly people - each of whom I deeply admire. They are alike in another way, as well: each has nothing but deep regret for their abortion. They, too, are victims. They are victims of an industry that often obscures the options available to mothers-to-be. They are victims of an industry that leads them to believe that this "thing" inside of them - with its beating heart - is nothing more than a simple collection of cells. Women around the country have been lied to for more than 30 years, and as a consequence, we have borne witness to an unspeakable holocaust.

As medical technology has progressed over these past 32 years, we have seen the advent of near-miracles in providing opportunities for premature babies to survive, and to thrive. Similarly, as medical imaging has advanced, it has become ever harder for the abortion industry to deny the essential humanity (the very fact that one must prove the humanity of an unborn child speaks to our advanced state of moral and logical decay...) of the unborn child. More and more, the struggle to define an arbitrary line at which the unborn child ceases to be a "fetus", and becomes a "baby" takes on the appearance of some sort of Monty Python sendup. At the end of the day, when one cuts through the flowery language of "choice", when one pins down the abortion rights advocate, the answer to the question of "when", as described above seems to be nothing more substantive than "whenever the mother decides that she wants the child."

Hungry for a never-ending barrage of questions in response to your question? Ask the abortion rights advocate about the rights of the child. The standard answer will involve the rights of the mother - it's her body/cervix/life, etc. Yes, but what about the baby? Didn't you hear me? What about the mother?

Though I suppose it reveals nothing more than my own naivete, I am constantly amazed by the degree to which the abortion rights community seems petrified of an honest appraisal of the physical realities of abortion. Try and explain what happens in a partial-birth abortion, and be greeted by fingers jammed in ears, and voices raised in praise of ignorance.

One of the more interesting phenomena along these lines has been the recent press frenzy over the revelation that a Boulder-area Catholic Church has been performing burial services for the remains of thousands of aborted babies since 1996. As one might expect (it's even covered at Drudge today), the pro-choice community is outraged. "How dare they exploit the private grief of women for political purposes?!" Despite the fact that the church hadn't made this a public matter until just this year, the outrage stands.

It's easy to see why the pro-abortion crowd is so riled up, though. Such an event lends an aspect of the human to the remains of these aborted children - this, of course, is something that the abortion industry simply cannot abide. After all, if these are human remains, it raises a whole host of, well...difficult questions, doesn't it?

There is, in the hysterics of the abortionistas, a certain Freudian quality, though. Throughout the past week, each and every press story I've seen on the subject of the Boulder church has mentioned the "outrage" over the church's violation of the private grief involved. But, if abortion is the wonderful, therapeutic procedure that we've been led to believe it to be, why, then, would one have grief? If it's nothing to be ashamed of, why this insistence on keeping it in the dark?

The answer, of course, is simple. Evil tends to seek the shadows.

And so, the shadow continues to spread over our land - blessed by many of those who have pledged to "first, do no harm", and sheltered by our own government. Woe. Woe to us all.

Friday, January 21, 2005
 
Celebrity


After coming home from work earlier this week, I greeted my wife and daughter with a kiss, kicked off my shoes, set the mail down on the kitchen table, scratched the purring cat behind his ears, and headed for the living room. It had been a long day, and I was ready to shift my mind into neutral for a bit, and watch some TV.

I flipped on the set, and bounced around the channels for a bit (we don't have cable, so it didn't take long to complete the circuit). I settled on Channel 9, and watched the last few minutes of the news. Then, I heard the familiar Entertainment Tonight music. So was applied the straw that would finally break the camel's back, so to speak.

The feature story? "Exclusive" footage of ex-90210er Tori Spelling's $1 million+ wedding to some suitably weaselly-looking guy, last year. The seriousness with which this freakshow was presented...the straight faces when describing the tiny tux and bridesmaid dress that adorned their two Pugs...

My train of thought derailed, and the only response I could muster was that of clenched teeth, rolling eyes, and a thunderous "GAH!!!"

I am officially tired of celebrities.

As a movie buff, and a fan of great acting, there's always been a natural draw for me in the world of entertainers, etc. No more. The heights to which our silly society has elevated the famous among us are increasingly nausea-inducing, and I want off the chairlift.

We live in a culture in which Sean Penn is treated to sit-downs with "serious" journalists, and front-page, above-the-fold press coverage is given to his myriad blatherings on Iraq, and the larger War on Terror. This man was Jeff Spicoli. Jeff...freakin'...Spicoli. This man was Mr. Madonna. This man's hobby, at one point in time, was laying out cameramen. Mother. Of. Pearl.

We won't even bring up that hideous Sarandon/Robbins/Streisand Hydra...

Now, we have everybody from the late Christopher Reeve to the now-14 year-old Jonathan Lipnicki (he played "Ray" - the "Bees and dogs smell fear"-kid in Jerry Maguire) testifying on Capitol Hill about stem cell research. Stem cells!

There is a degree of self-importance at work here that would be funny, were it not so jaw-droppingly grating. I am led to draft the following open letter to the Hollywood community -

Dear Everyone,

It was Tori Spelling's Pugs. The Pugs pushed me over the edge. I was seized with a barely restrainable urge to fly to Malibu, and toss all of them - the Spellings, the dogs, the various and sundry assistants and legal staff who allowed this travesty to go unopposed - into the Pacific, with their little outfits following close behind.

Must you really opine on the state of your new pet cause every single time a microphone is thrust into your face, and a question is asked about what it was like to work with Jen/Ben/Tom/Leo/Brad/Julia? I mean, I'm sure that the book you read was, like, so interesting, what with the dolphins, and the overpopulation, and all of the really, really bad global warming and stuff, but seriously.

You really need to read this, so please pay attention: I don't care. I. Don't. Care. Your little lapel ribbons don't change my life. I still go to work, raise my family, and worship the same God. Your PSAs don't cause the slightest bit of introspection, let alone wholesale life changes. I don't care who you wear to the Golden Globes/Oscars/Emmys. That's another thing...you're wearing a dress, people; an article of clothing. It's not a "who", it's a "what". Can we at least get that stright? And will somebody please lock Joan Rivers away? Far, far away?

Along those lines, I will not be swayed to buy your arguments on the strength of some pretentious acceptance speech. Your grand pronouncements about the First Amendment don't change the fact that you likely couldn't tell me what it says in its entirety, and that you still insist on creating example after example of tendentious filth, human suffering played for laughs, and really, really unfunny comedy - all in the name of free expression. You shock, debase, insult, and mock - simply because you can, and you can't understand why I fail to see this as a virtue.

In short, though we are both merely human, our lives bear no resemblance to one another. We do not, cannot relate, so let's just make this a clean break, shall we?

It's over. I just don't love you anymore. You know what that's like, right? I mean, you guys always seem to have a bunch of "irreconcilable differences" floating around out there.

I'm cashing in my chips - I'm out. The divorce papers have been filed.

It's not me...it's you.


-Jared

 
The "Snort, spray coffee across your keyboard, and laugh uncontrollably"-line of the day...


From FoxNews.com -

Entertainers who passed through the media line reiterated that their involvement in the coalition isn't because of political ambitions but because of a strong desire to work on issues.

"I think it's more of a neo-conservative thing to be angry and bitter ... progressives tend to be more inclusive," Hill Harper, known for his role as Dr. Sheldon Hawkes on CBS' "CSI: NY," said.


[chortle]

Tuesday, January 18, 2005
 
If you haven't read him - you should


I'm a Hawai'i nut. No, no, no...not a Macadamia. A figurative nut. A rhetorical nut, if you will.

I love the place.

Honeymooned there (along with at least 7/10ths of the Western Hemishpere - and all but seven residents of Hokkaido), had the world's shortest snorkling experience (combine a new wife who's terrified of the water with waves...and lava rocks, and you get the idea...), and got punished by some of the biggest waves the Kihei area had seen in years. If you've never been bodysurfing, this part of the post makes no sense, but for those of you who have ever done this - especially if, like me, upon seeing the ocean, you lose all sense of, well, sense - the sensation I'm about to describe should be relatively familiar:

First off, let me just say that, before you learn to bodysurf, you should first master the art of diving below waves (rest assured, I know how to do this now). I learned this lesson the hard way. Ouch.

Anyway, there is a sort of void - a black hole, or no-man's land where you're in between waves, and find yourself, um...Phillips Head-ed. You find yourself too far away from the wave to actually catch it and ride it in, but too close to avoid having it break right on top of you. The "too far" part? Not so bad, really. Maybe you get churned around, banged into by some boogie boarder from Nashua, but overall, no one's gonna get killed here.

If you're too close, though? Imagine, if you will, the sensation of being picked up in a giant fist, and slammed down, chest/chin-first on the sand beneath the water. Then, just when you con't think it can get any more fun, imagine that same fist skipping you along said sand - still chest/chin-first, of course. After approximately five hours of this, you re-orient yourself, and pop to the surface. Eventually, some gracious local on a surfboard calls out, "Hey, haole, dive undah deh wave, brah. You gon' get kill'." You wander back to the beach, and reality sets in - you have sand in every major crevice on your body, as well as most of the minor ones. Chafing will inevitably ensue.

Oh, anyway, I digress. There's a columnist for the Honolulu Star-Bulletin named Charles Memminger, and the guy just flat-out rocks. I make a point of catching his columns (Honolulu Lite, and Alo-Ha! Friday) each week in their online version, and you should do the same. He's very funny, but always manages to slip a little bit of "meat" into his columns, as well.

Here's a sample (okay, okay, okay...it's most of a column, but it's REALLY good):

My favorite proponent of turning Hawaii into a nice little police state -- Democratic House Rep. Joe Souki -- is at it again.

...Displaying the finely tuned tin ear he's developed to shield him from the annoying will of the majority, he told the Star-Bulletin's Richard Borreca he wants to bring back traffic cameras. And he hints that he'd like to see some draconian steps to get cars off streets.

"Does the community and the policy-makers have the will and courage to come up with negative incentives for owning cars?" he asked.

THAT'S AN interesting question, grammatically speaking. The term "negative incentives" is like a fleeting shaft of light hitting a dark and scary place. A "negative incentive" for owning a car, which is to say, a scary reason for NOT owning a car, could include having the car blow up every time you tried to start it. I can think of many scary things the "community and policy-makers" could do to make me not want to own a car, and none of them take much courage.

...Strangely, all of Souki's ideas for traffic control make the life of the little guy, the struggling worker, the common man and woman, much more expensive and troublesome. I guess it does take some courage (or something) for a sensitive Democrat to dump on the people Democrats claim to protect.
Anyway, Memminger gives all of us a little slice of Aloha, matched with a quick wit, and topped with some of that most rare of commodities - common sense. Not bad, I'd say.

 
Colorado - 49th in Education Funding!!!


Oh, really?

 
China gets her sea legs


Bill Gertz has a very interesting piece in today's Washington Times, detailing China's rapidly unfolding "String of Pearls" strategy for strengthening her strategic influence throughout Asia.

"China is building strategic relationships along the sea lanes from the Middle East to the South China Sea in ways that suggest defensive and offensive positioning to protect China's energy interests, but also to serve broad security objectives," said the report sponsored by the director, Net Assessment, who heads Mr. Rumsfeld's office on future-oriented strategies.
I find this bit of analysis to be particularly interesting in light of the rather powderkeg-like nature of Northeast Asian relationships.

While the Middle East is, without question, the source of most of the world's current "hot" conflicts, there is no more potentially dangerous region than that inhabited by China, the Koreas, and Japan - all of whom, to one degree or another, hold deep-seated and violent hatred for one another.

As part of my coursework at American Military University, I performed an analysis (using Dr. Jonathan Lockwood's Lockwood Analytical Method of Prediction - a 12-step analytical process designed for use by the intel community) of the potential for Japan (which has a massive latent nuclear capability) to discard both its traditional reliance on the US nuclear "umbrella", and its constitutionally-imposed restrictions, and develop an indiginous nuclear weapons program. Although, at the end of the day, I came away with the sense that, despite both China and North Korea's fears to the contrary, such an event is highly unlikely, there were "precursor" events that I felt could tilt the chances toward the positive. One of these was a move by China to strengthen her naval presence in the region. If you're bored out of your skull, and want to read a dry, 30 page-ish analysis, download it here.

It has been known for quite some time that China had plans to develop a credible "blue wayer" navy, whereby it could effectively project power throughout all of Northeast Asia. While there are many, many other factors at play in the tensions that dominate the region's politics, this particular situation is one that bears watching - closely.

Friday, January 14, 2005
 
Not only is the glass not half-full...


...it's completely EMPTY, and yet also filled with the uninsured poor!

So says our local collective of socialist-cuddlers.

Yesterday was quite the day for our little group. First off, David Harsanyi's column in The Post welcomes us to the media (secret handshake to follow, no doubt), and then, some of my fellow RMAers had the good fortune of attending yesterday's State of the State address, and meeting with the Gov. for a little Q&A; afterward. Not too shabby for a bunch of guys with day jobs (or in search of day jobs, as the case may be), methinks.

As surely as the day follows the dawn, however, the backwash inevitably follows the tasty swig of soda (at least when your toddler grabs hold of the bottle...). So, we arrive in the present, where our political and philosophical adversaries on the Left (represented in the post above) have thus far in the new political session, taken the high road - graciously opening the in-state debate by first labeling us "pasty faced" (can't exactly call it libel, given the fact that we do, in fact, tend toward the pasty, but still...), and then writing up a lovely broadside against the Governor's speech that is, in and of itself, remarkable. It somehow manages to simultaneously be condescending and/or insulting toward veterans (Yeah, yeah, shrapnel in the throat...WHAT ABOUT Bush's benefit cuts?!!), adoptive parents, and School admin types of "non-color" (What's with all of these whities in the front row? Thank God for the token black man!), and still find the space in which to paint a picture of the Governor, clad in his best "Monopoly's Rich Uncle Moneybags™" gear, and wringing his hands in delight at the plight of the uninsured poor. We Republicans sure do like our suffering poor, we do!

Funny stuff, mostly.

Though the portions of the post dealing with downplaying the heroism of the Iraq war vet (Maj. Doug Paul, a Colorado National Guardsman wounded in Balad, Iraq last year) are in themselves, less than tasteful (and less than truthful - see FactCheck.org's page on the subject: Funding for Veterans up 27%, But Democrats Call It A Cut), the stuff I'd like to focus on is found primarily in the following paragraphs, as they hit close-to-home -

The adoptive parents, for instance, a Pastor and his wife, were there to represent the Governor's push for adoption (subtext here: as opposed to abortion.) They had organized little "meet and greets" with kids in state custody and the members of their church, and they had adopted three kids themselves. They looked like nice, unassuming people. And who could argue against adopting kids who need homes.

...But I think Colorado would've been better served had the front row been populated slightly differently -- with a different kind of hero. For instance -- instead of adoptive parents, how 'bout one of the many single mothers who struggle to make it every day in Colorado. Like my friend Liz, who works full time and goes to school and single-handedly raises her 13-year-old son who to this day has never been to a dentist. Or my friend Sara, who cleans houses to support her 10 year-old-daughter and lives in a 300 sq. foot. apartment. I would have liked to see either Liz or Sara sitting there in the front row. But I'm not sure they would've sat there quietly. In fact, I'm sure they wouldn't.
This is just all kinds of disingenuous. I especially love the "And who could argue against adopting kids who need homes?"-bit. Of course, within the rhetorical context of the sentence, this is exactly what the piece's author has done - especially when, earlier in the paragraph, one finds this aside -

The adoptive parents, for instance, a Pastor and his wife, were there to represent the Governor's push for adoption (subtext here: as opposed to abortion). Ooooh. Feel the dark portent.

While I'm on the subject...
Does it really need pointing out that adoption is an alternative to abortion? Is this really so revolutionary or subversive a concept as to merit such a parenthetical meandering? Or, could it be that, to this author, there is, in fact, something dangerous and even somehow, negative about all of this adoption talk?

One thing I've noticed since our adoption has been the degree to which the to-my-face "Wow, you adopted? That's great!"-platitudes of some of my pro-choice friends doesn't seem to match their need to quickly follow up their well-wishes with a lament about the other "unwanted" kids out there...

What is it about the concept of adoption that so often throws the pro-choice side into conniption fits of stat-hurling ("Well, there aren't enough adoptive families for all of these unwanted kids!!") hysterics ("Why should that teenaged mother be forced to give birth?! Why? Why?!!")?

Here are my $.02 on the question. See, as I've said so many times before, abortion is a primal thing. It involves the forcible "ceasing" of a growing life; a life, I might add, that is separate and distinct from that of its mother. This life happens to be a human life, and one that has done nothing wrong. It has not asked for its fate, has committed no evil, nor acted maliciously. It simply tries its best to exist...to live. For all of polite society's hemming and hawing on the matter - casting out the well-worn red herrings of rape and incest (a topic on which reasonable people continue to disagree) in an effort to civilize, justify, sanitize, and even, in some cases, revere an act that, when confronted in the bright light of reality, violates something deep inside our nature. It is at once an act of homicide, and of suicide - within the larger context of the human race.

To the abortion rights true believer, there can be no discussion on the matter. The matter is closed, and never again to be addressed. It goes without saying that there can be no confrontation of the physical act of abortion. These things - these visceral realities - tend to prick our consciences should we let our thoughts wander too far afield from the "get your hands off my uterus!"-plantation. In "polite" discussions of abortion as a political matter, there is most often a surreal disconnect between the painstakingly extreme lengths to which most will go to avoid even the use of the word "abortion" (it's all about "choice", don't you know...), and the brutality of the act itself.

Plug the ears. Shout "La, la, la, I'm not listening!". There's your debate.

Every time adoption is emphasized, there is a danger. There is a danger not only for the abortion rights activist, but for the pro-life activist, as well. For the pro-lifer, the question becomes one of commitment. Is my money where my mouth is? There are kids who wait to be adopted. Why do they wait?

For the pro-choice man or woman, however, the stakes are higher. When adoption is emphasized as an alternative, the question then becomes, "What, exactly, is it an alternative to?" (never end a sentence with a prepo...) This question then becomes "Why, if this right of mine - this holiest of secular sacraments - is so universally beloved, do so many call for an alternative?"

Eventually, these questions must inevitably lead to a confrontation of abortion's true nature. One eventually stares the beast in the eye, and surveys the ways in which it ravages not only the baby whose life is stolen away, but the mother who would-have-been.

Abortion is primal. Molech. The only difference is that now we sacrifice our children in sterile doctors' offices, rather than on altars of brass.

Thursday, January 13, 2005
 
Big day for the RMA - thanks all around


Sheesh.

First, the talented (and gracious) Michele Austin arranges for the RMA to be the first blogger group in the nation specifically invited to attend a Governor's State of the State address, and to top that off, our guys will be given about 30 minutes with the Guv following. Pretty darned impressive.

Representing the RMA at this event will be Clay (who is running for the Chairmanship of the Elbert County GOP - Go Clay!), Joshua, Richard, Michael, and Jim. Enjoy, guys. The rest of us will toil at our day jobs, and resent you quietly.

Also, a good friend of the RMA, and Denver's finest columnist, The Denver Post's own David Harsanyi, has given us a tip o' the hat, and for that, we say "thanks!"

You can check David's column each Monday and Thursday in the Post. He's quite good, and has, in his brief stay in the Denver area, mastered its peculiarities, and fairly pinpointed our regional, umm, eccentricities. Here's a sample from his end o' the year column, which had me grinning all day -

Since this is the first time I've actually lived in the U.S. - New York being an island off the coast of Europe, and Washington, D.C., being a place where uptight bureaucrats assemble to conceive of innovative ways to make our lives miserable - I'd like to share what I've learned in Denver the past seven-plus months.

...My humble advice: Whenever possible, avoid poking fun at pagans (unless you crave mysterious sores all over your body), Jesus (unless you want to burn in the deepest depths of hell), wolves (unless you want those Who Love All Life to threaten yours), tofu (unless you want 2,371 recipes that profess to make the flavorless substance taste like meat - the stuff you wanted to eat in the first place) or stoners (unless you're in the mood for two identical, hour-long conversations with a woman who simply goes by the name "Scooby").
Just about says it all, I suppose.

To all who have read us over the past year or so, thanks. To the rest of you, where have you been?!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
 
Welcome to the 'sphere!


Everybody head on over to Dilley blog - a new addition to the Colorado blog crew.

 
In Good Company


The evening's festivities began when The Wife™ and I walked right past the ever growing line that snaked its way out of the United Artists theater at the Denver Pavillions, where we were to take in a press screening of Universal Pictures' In Good Company, a film directed by Paul Weitz - a man whose directorial credits range from the sublime (About a Boy) to the, well...less than sublime (American Pie) - and starring Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace, Scarlett Johansson, and Marg Helgenberger.

The screening confirmation I received from Grace Hill Media told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was not to wait in line, but should instead find the Universal Pictures rep. We strolled past the line, enduring dagger stares, and the plaintive wonderings of one of the more unfortunate souls in the back of the freezing line:

Did they just walk right in? What the f@!k?!!

That episode out of the way, we settled into the theater, and waited. In the interim, I spotted Joshua, and, though we were on our good behavior for the bulk of the evening, neither of us could resist our dark conservative implulses enough to avoid raising a thumbs-up to one another during a trailer for Sean Penn's new potboiler, The Translator. Not for Mr. Penn, mind you, but rather for the trailer's lead in, where a plot to assassinate the UN Seceratary General is discussed (note - I do not wish Kofi Annan any harm. I just find the UN to be, shall we say, crappy).

Now then, as to the film itself. We should get this out of the way right at the start: the film breaks no new ground. There's nothing herre that you haven't seen in one way or another in any number of other films. That having been said, there is something about the way in which this film puts these elements together that is uniquely refreshing, and, to my mind, important.

The plotline is basically as follows:

Quaid plays Dan Foreman - VP of Ad Sales for a Sports Illustrated-type magazine. He's good at his job, and does things the old fashioned way. His word is his bond, and a handshake is pretty much legally binding. In comes young Mr. Grace, who plays Carter Duryea - a hotshot 26 year-old sales exec who we first encounter as he pitches the idea of kiddie cellphones to a group of enthralled colleagues.

Carter's new age mega conglomerate company - headed by a cliche-hurling caricature of every Richard Branson-type billionaire you remember reading about in the 90s - buys up Dan's magazine, and presto, kaboom, Carter becomes Dan's boss.

As you might expect, this doesn't fly too well with the old-school Dan, and things only get worse when the desperately lonely Carter (whose shallow wife of seven months has just left him) invites himself to Dan's house for dinner (one of the funnier bits I've seen in some time). Carter hungers for the family life that Dan has, and eventually, takes things juuuuuust a bit too far with the Foremans' 18 year-old daughter Alex (in a solid, understated perfromance by Scarlett Johansson). To top things off, the very middle-aged Foremans have just discovered that their third child is on the way. There's more to it, but this is the gist.

This is a movie that, by all rights, should have been a cliche-ridden disaster. As it is, it strays dangerously close to becoming purely formulaic, but always, at the last second, some sublte wrinkle appears - whether through a performance, a plot twist, or a well-turned phrase - to once more propel the film above its source material.

There's a scene in the film - when Carter and Dan are arriving at Dan's house for dinner in Carter's new, one-eyed Porsche. Carter isn't having the easiest time moving the Carrera up the driveway, and Dan finally mutters, "Who taught you to drive?", to which Carter replies offhandedly, "No one".

This exchange has a poignancy to it that goes far beyond the mundane, everyday material Hollywood churns out on a regular basis. There is a respect for family - for marriage, for children, and for the nuclear arrangement in general, that I've not seen from a major studio picture for quite some time. Carter wants what Dan has, and the film is careful to portray Carter's longing as not just understandable, but in fact right. There is, in short, some really good stuff here.

This isn't to say that it's without faults. Though I believe that it is largely successful in avoiding the stereotypical pitfalls that lay before it, there are a couple of glaring examples in which it reveals the limitations that its Hollywood lineage has placed upon it.

When movies stick to what they know - fantasy, escapism, etc. - they tend to stay out of trouble. When they cross over into real-life territory (corporate life, etc.), there is little hope that anything approaching real depth and resonance will take place. This is the case with the film's vision of Corporate America. While not a straightforward, Office Space subversion-fest, the film casts a more than cynical eye on modern business. Joshua is far more well-qualified to speak on the film's shortcomings in this area than am I, so I recommend strongly that you get his impressions, as well.

Some of this stuff - like Dan's big speech to the enigmatic Teddy K - just doesn't ring true. That having been said, there are glimpses of reality scattered throughout the corporate landscape presented in the film. As a veteran of the dot-com boom/bust, I remember quite clearly any number of instances in which it became clear that my company's CEO had no idea what he was talking about, and had simply substituted words like "synergy" for ideas of substance.

Excuse me, but, "proactive", and "paradigm"? Aren't those just words that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of that, or anything...

At the end of the day, though, this is an "actor's movie", and the performances save the day. Topher Grace has a very Ben Stiller-esque ability to make you squirm out of embarassment for him, but never crosses the line to camp (unlike the aforementioned Mr. Stiller). Johansson, as mentioned before, offers a quiet performance that feels more and more "real" as the film goes on. And Quaid? He's outstanding. In my opinion, he's done his best work since passing 40. I loved him in Frequency, and The Rookie, but his work here - as a man who though humiliated, beaten down, and constantly reminded of his age, never ceases to be a loving father and husband - is terrific. At first glance, the film looks like a rather broad comedy. In reality, however, it acheives a near-miraculous balance between true hilarity and a level of emotion that, as the father of a 17 month-old daughter, moved me deeply on more than one occasion in the film. It's the film that Spanglish tried (and failed) to be.

I recommend it strongly.


Pros
Great performances
Some witty writing
A positive - almost celebratory - portrayal of both marriage, and parenthood

Cons
Some language
Some (very) brief nudity (nonsexual)
An instance of premarital sex (offscreen)

The film is rated PG-13, and opens Friday.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
 
MST3K and Google


I've a confession to make. I am a Mistie. A Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan, for you non neo-maxi doom-dweebies out there.

Mystery Science Theater 3000, or "MST3K" as it was often called, was a show that began on a Minnesota public-access staiton in the late 1980s. It featured comedian Joel Hodgson and a couple of robots, sitting in a movie theater, and watching movies. Bad movies. Movies so bad they'll make your eyes bleed. Anyway, the shows consisted of the film, and the funny riffs that these guys would throw at it - be it a Toho rubber suit-monster movie, or some direct-to-video sci-fi schlock - most likely starring Marc Singer.

I was cleaning out my office at home the other day, when I happened upon something fascinating - my old MST3K fan club card. Yup. Laminated, n'all.

I still have several old tapes of the show, and of course, I have the big-screen version, as well. On a side note, I really liked MST3K - The Movie, and the star of both the film, and of the later episodes of the show - Mike Nelson (a conservative, and Christian, BTW), but I'm still a Joel loyalist.

If you've not watched the show, or are one of its legions of despisers, you can skip on ahead. This post has nothing for you, obviously.

Anyway, everyone's got their favorite episodes. Mine would have to include the Master Ninja series, Gamera, Time of the Apes, Ee-Gah!, and any number of other classics that have faded into the memory hole.

Why this sudden MST3K reminiscing? Simply another example of the crazy times in which we live. See, when MST3K left Comedy Central, and moved to The SciFi Channel, the SciFi folks whipped up a little app that basically let you play MST3K yourself. It presented you a screengrab from whatever happened to be showing on the channel at the time, and allowed you to place your own caption under the picture. At that point, your captioned creation would be placed in a gallery, viewable by whoever happened to check it at the time. As I remember, the humor was uniformly sophisticated, urbane, and unremittingly witty - rather like an Adam Sandler comedy romp, but more well-suited to the common man.

When I was in college, I capped. A lot. I worked under two screen names - drhidaka (that's Dr. Hidaka, from the first Gamera movie), and Kobra_Kai, from, well...you know.

For the heck of it, I googled the non-word "drhidaka". Lo, and behold, somebody out there has a few of my oldest caps stored on their personal webpages. Similar (but more extensive) results for "Kobra_Kai". See for yourselves, if you dare, here, here, here, here, and here, for example.

Very surreal. I certainly didnlt remember anything that I had written, so it's quite odd to see this stuff; kind of a glimpse into my early comedy writing career. Well...it would be, if I had a writing career...or were funny.

Just goes to show that you never know what you'll find when you Google something.

Especially if you're a nerd.

 
Got a date tonight...


Being the movie buff that I am (don't let anybody tell you that graduating from film school and then not going into filmmaking is just a waste of time. It's also a waste of money. On the upside, I can now be elitist and dismissive with the best of them. Thanks, film criticism!), I'm pretty excited for this evening's festivities. The Wife™ and I will be taking in a press screening of In Good Company - opening this weekend, and starring Dennis Quaid (been a big fan of his since Breaking Away, and I loved both Frequency, and The Rookie. We won't mention Dragonheart...) and That 70s Show's Topher Grace (never watched it, as I was 5 when the decade ended. It holds no nostalgia for me). It looks pretty good, and the advance buzz is pretty positive.

On of the nicer perks of this non-paying avocation (blogging) has been the opportunity to review movies and television shows in advance of their release. I still love going to the movies (no, film school didn't beat that out of me), and hey...it lets me feel like a big shot. This just in - Grace Hill Media rocks. They're light years ahead of any other media publicity group I've seen. They've figured out the value of the blogosphere, and I have to believe that it's paying dividends.

Anyway, I'll give you a full rundown tomorrow. If I'm feeling creative, maybe I'll write it in the style of everyone's favorite sophomoric Tarrantino/Del Toro/Michael Moore-worship site, Ain't It Cool News. See me channel Harry Knowles, Quint, and all of the rest of your favorite AICN-ers - sans profanity and grammatical blasphemies. Well, maybe I'll throw in a bludgeoning of "you're", just to make it fun. Y'know...for the kids.

Your going to love it!

See you tomorrow.


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