Last night I was on the telephone with a great guy in our church.  He refuses to settle.  Now I like that!  He is alive and is thinking and dreaming.  On the other hand, I have had many conversations through the years with people who settled a long time ago.   They became stuffy and sedate at an early age.  It is interesting that such people often talk about "retirement" when they are still very young (at least chronologically).  What a dull way to live.

The other day, I was visiting with a friend who is a Dean at a Christian college.  I’ve known him for a long time.  We bumped into one another at Oklahoma Christian and spent some time catching up.  At one point I told him, "I’m still trying to figure out what I am going to do someday."  He then said, "Maybe we are at a point where we are already doing what we are going to do."  Hmmmm.  I like that. 

His statement reminds me of the importance of being fully alive in the moment.

Now
The Present
Today
Here

I have known too many people whose clock stopped years ago.  I recall visiting a family once.  Charlotte and I went into this house, a nice house on the outside.  Inside the house, most everything was dated by 30 years or so.  Not just the furnishings but the pictures of family.  There were pictures of the family when the kids were little but nothing since they had grown up and had families of their own.  Then I learned more. These people basically saw the best days of their lives as having occurred 30 years earlier.  Conversations tended to drift back to those days.  They were stuck.  I don’t want to be like that.

Nor, do I want to be a person who is always looking to the future and misses the present.  Like the guys I heard about who was always updating his resume.  He did that for years.  At the same time, he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t feel "at home" in the community where he lived.  It is hard to be at home when you forever have your eye on something else.

The present is sometimes very difficult.  Is your life somewhat like mine?

• At times I feel very encouraged.  At other times I find my work discouraging. 
• At times I feel very energized.  At other times I have to work hard to manage my energy. 
• At times I find myself feeling close to God.  At other times it is a real struggle.
• At times I am so grateful for the encouragement I receive from some people.  At other times I get frustrated with the lack of commitment by some Christians. 

One thing is for sure, today God is faithful.  My present is not determined by how I may feel at this moment whether good or bad.  Today belongs to God. 

What are you doing in the present?

Jamie drove me by this huge church when I was in Oklahoma City last week.  This was "Life Church" in Edmond.  It was a large complex with lots of people coming out of main doors as we drove through the parking lot.  Then I saw a building that interested me.  It was their prayer chapel.  I went to the door expecting to be closed and locked.  It was unlocked.  I went in and saw a table full of prayer requests. 

"Prayer is not all we can do…it is the best we can do"

Things happen because the Lord opens the doors.  He doesn’t need a key because he can blow any door down.  Paul encouraged the early Christians to pray for an open door (Colossians 4:2-4). 

What does this mean?  This means that God turns situations that seem difficult or impossible into something that bears fruit.  God blesses our work in ways that he otherwise would not had we not prayed.

We are called to pray for an open door.

Some doors are closed due to a person’s poor attitude.  I’ve heard people say (and perhaps you’ve heard the same thing):

• “He will never change.”
• “No she’s not a Christian but don’t hold your breath.  Her mother was just as hard hearted as she is.”

The door of apathy.  “People don’t care here.  These people are too hard to reach.”  Yes, but when God goes to work most anything can happen. 

The door of secret sin.  “I’ve been doing this for so long, I don’t know how I could ever give up_____________.” 

(Just fill in the blank).

The door of defeat.  You know what it is to be frustrated with the church.  Frustrated with our apathy.  Frustrated that we can be slow to be who we need to be.  God can blow down the door of defeat.

Sometimes we look at these doors and instead of praying, we get overwhelmed and discouraged.  So we think there is so little we can really do.  Consequently, our prayers reflect that.    

What do we pray for?

• Are we praying for people specifically?  By name?
• Are we praying for people who have never surrendered their lives to Jesus?
• Are we praying for people who have left the Lord and are no longer following him?

When the door is closed you may be tempted to give up.  Yet, we serve a God who can knock down any door that might stand between you and what God wants to do in your life.  God is able and willing to blow down doors that seem permanently shut.

Send out a 911 call to God and confess that the doors are closed and you desperately need him. When you pray, you are telling God, “I am totally dependent on you and am asking you to bring about what only you can make happen”  God will listen.
 

(More on the list of what ministers ought to know.  See the earlier post.)

11. Be very careful about what you say in humor.  You never know what a person has gone through in her/his early years.

12. Avoid self-pity.  You are not the only one who works hard and who doesn’t get support at work.  Nothing is more pathetic than a minister who is full of self-pity.

13. Read!  Read for comfort.  Read to be challenged.  This is essential for freshness.

14. Know that you are dispensable.  Don’t take yourself too serious.  After all, if you are hit by a Dr. Pepper truck today, the church will soon replace you.

15. Guard what comes from your mouth.  When people tell you something, it is critical that you keep their trust.  Ask yourself before speaking, “If this person knew I was about to tell what she said yesterday, would she be surprised or even hurt?”

16. Cultivate and nurture your friendships.  This work can be very, very lonely.  Your friends will help you get through.

17. Take advantage of e-mail.  It is a great way to communicate details.  However, it is no substitute for a real, face to face conversation.

18. Play to your strengths.  No one can do everything well.  What do you do particularly well?

19. Know where the land mines are in the church.  Believe me—they are there. 

20. Stay away from anything that even remotely resembles manipulation.  Remember that love and manipulation are two very different ways of treating people.

The follow list will be posted in four parts.  This should be of particular interest to ministers.

1. Don’t go on and on talking about your church!  Learn from other people.  Maybe God is working in their church as well.  Ask them questions.

2. Forget trying to be a big name.  Most of that stuff is about who you know, anyway.  Stop playing the game. 

3. It’s all about relationships.  If you don’t treat people right, it really doesn’t matter what else you do.

4. Someone else can teach you something.  Pay attention.  Don’t overlook those who are much older or much younger than you.

5. Be careful about what you say.  If you say, “Let’s go to lunch.  I’ll get back with you,”  you need to do just that.  Avoid making promises you don’t intend to keep.

6. Follow through.  Many of us are good about starting something and then letting it die.

7. Forget trying to position yourself for prestigious ministries.  That is nothing more than a game based on ego.

8. Pay attention to the invisible people.  I mean the quiet, unassuming people in your church.

9. Find someone on this planet you can confide in.  This work can be very lonely.  Having such a friend may help to prevent a train wreck in your life.

10. Get healthy!  The best thing you can do in a church is to model what a healthy (not perfect) human being looks like.  Go to a counselor. Talk to a trusted friend.  Do whatever it takes to deal with old wounds.

This is Saturday.  This morning we are going to eat breakfast with good friends.  Afterward, we will be doing what can usually be done only on Saturday.  Cleaning up.  Catching up.  Running errands.

Most of all it is a day to regroup. 

As I think about it, "regrouping" is a theme in my life right now.  I am not sure how to explain or talk about this.  Yet, I sense I am regrouping.  Just a few things that are different at this point in my life:

1.  I care less about propping up someone else’s insecurities. I care more about encouraging people who feel defeated.

2.  I care less about succeeding.  I care more about living a significant life and doing what really counts.

3.  I care less about appearing to be current.  I care more about paying attention to things that are lasting and have withstood the test of time.

4.  I care less about appearing to be busy for the sake of my ego.  I care more about making the most of each day.

The other day, I was thinking about a man who I admired for many years.  He died almost a decade ago.  When he was alive, he had a schedule, concerns, appointments, etc.  He had an office with books, a desk, a telephone, and chairs.  Now his life on this earth is over.

He has no schedule.  No phone.  No desk.  No appointments.  I rarely hear his name unless it is from family members or people he influenced in earlier years.  His office is now occupied by another.  This man too has books, a desk, a telephone, and chairs.  His life too will one day be over.

This world will go on with out me.  The church I am with will go on without me.  What will last are my relationships.  What will last is the love I have invested in my wife and children.  What will last is the encouragement I have given to other people.  That is all the work of God.  That is what really counts.

So–as I prepare for a new week, I want to make sure that the week doesn’t just get busy or hectic.  I want to make sure that I am investing my life in something that matters.

The church is God’s idea.  Not mine.  Not yours.  Not religious leaders.  No, the church is God’s idea.  I respect and appreciate what God was doing in Scripture as he reveals to all of us what he has in mind for a church.  What wears me out though, is the church.  No, not the church as God designed.  I’m talking about the church that human beings have often shaped in their own image.  I get tired of this church.  This isn’t anything recent.  In fact, I have noticed for many, many years that the following seems to drain me of energy.  What about you?

1.  I get tired of the church that protects forms and forgets the functions that were intended by God.

2.  I get tired of the church that allows the vocal minority to handcuff the rest of the church. 

3.  I get tired of the church that still sees the church as sectarian (the only right bunch) and then seems chagrined that people from the community are offended at this.

4.  I get tired of the church that has its meetings, its committees, its special programs, and doesn’t seem to realize this endless activity is no indicator that we know Jesus or are displaying him in our lives.

5.  I get tired of the church that drags its feet, moving along with no sense of urgency.  This is the church that eventually extinguishes the dreams of its people.  This is done not through malice but through neglect and passivity.

I mention these not to place blame on anyone.  I do think that if we are not careful, we can easily slip into any one (or more) of the five characteristics I have just described.  We do not have to settle for this.  We do have to pay attention to what God desires as revealed in the BIble.

Let me suggest to you that there is another way of coming at this that produces energy and hope.  I get energized when I see God at work among his people.

1.  I get energized by men and women whose love for Jesus has caused them to repent, worship, and serve God without self-consciousness.  They just don’t care what others think.

2.  I get energized by dreamers!  Men and women who see a need and connect that need with their gifts.

3.  I get energized by women and men who are passionate about what God wants to do in this world!  Men and women who love God relentlessly and who have a real thirst to experience all that Jesus is.

4.  I get energized by people who remember our mission.  People, like my friend at lunch today, who are committing money to China this year.  I loved hearing him talk about how his whole family meets together every year to decide where they would be sending some of their money for the year.

5.  I get energized by people who want to risk and dare to trust God to take care of his people and his mission.

Tired of the church?  Yes.  But I’m not tired of what God is doing through his people.  I just don’t want to settle.  When I do, something will have died in me.

For the last few day, I have been at Oklahoma Christian University in Edmond, Oklahoma.   I spoke on Monday afternoon and last night went with Jamie, (my youngest who is a freshmen there) and some of her friends to Hideaway Pizza for some wonderful pizza.  I am leaving for Waco in the morning but have some things to be thankful for:

1.  For having the opportunity to get acquainted with some more of Jamie’s friends.  They were from Texas, Oklahoma, and Missouri (soon to be Canada).  I was impressed with Courtney, Ashley, Kendra, Jayce, and Ally.  Sweet girls each of whom has blessed Jamie’s life in some way.  (Very funny too!  Jamie wanted them to hear the ring tone on my cell phone.  Uhhh–I changed that one after what they said!)

2.  For having the opportunity to hear Dr. Chip Kooi, a fine theologian and Bible professor at Oklahoma Christian.  I heard Chip speak on a subject related to spirituality and its importance.  A fine presentation.

3.  For an enjoyable time talking with a group of preachers about preaching on Monday afternoon.  Now that was humbling!  I’ve had some opportunities like this before.  However, the idea of talking to preachers about preaching is a little daunting.

4.  For such an enjoyable experience of worship at "The View" on Monday evening with a large group of college students.  THAT was good!  It has been awhile since I have enjoyed a worship experience like that.  What would that be like on Sunday mornings?

5.  For the opportunity to put names with faces.  Students and professors.  Also seeing places my daughter has talked about.  "Ted’s" Mexican food.  Panera Bread.  The Coffee Shop (on campus).

It was just a couple of days at the university but I came away feeling very thankful that my daughter is here.

I was asleep in the room on a recliner.  Actually this was a recliner that unfolded.  It was quite comfortable and I was sleeping soundly.  Sometime in the middle of the night, a woman slipped into the room.  I sensed someone was walking by me and raised my head to see what was happening.  She whispered in broken English as she walked by, "It’s OK, I will just be a moment."

In the bed across the room lay my 81 year old mother.  She had hip replacement surgery this past week at Baylor Medical Center in Dallas.  This nurse was entering the room in the night to check on her. 

Many of you have been there.  You’ve had a medical crisis.  You or your family members have been through surgeries. Maybe you’ve been in the hospital or perhaps you have been with someone else who has.  It is a different world.  Last week, I was immersed in that world.  I came away so thankful for the following people:

• Wonderful nurses like Molly, Cindy, Scott, and so many others on the 6th floor of the Truett Building at Baylor Medical Center.
• Tech people who served in so many practical and helpful ways.
• The Physical Therapy people.  Stan the PT who was patient and skillful.  Barry, who told my mother that he liked her spunk and got her to laugh.
• The "blood guy" (who referred to himself as "Quick Draw") who came in the middle of the night and managed to get a sample of blood quickly and without pain.
• Vonda, the social worker, who was so helpful in finding a rehab facility and taking care of many details related to locating the facility.
• Jessie Stroup who visited my mother on several occasions.  I’m thankful for the surprise of seeing Jessie get off the elevator onto the 6th floor.  He is a long time friend who I had not seen one another in many years.  He is now a chaplain for Baylor and Parkland Hospitals.

I say all of this not as news or having some great insight.  No, I mention this because many people do similar work and often receive little recognition or appreciation.

You may have a job like that.  You may go to work, day after day, feeling ignored and unappreciated.  Yet, God knows.  God sees how you work with integrity and care.  That really does matter.

I have spent several days this week at the Baylor Medical Center in Dallas.  My mom had a hip replaced.  In some respects a common procedure.  She is, however, 81 years old with a knee that needs to be replaced etc.  So–I have been at this sprawling medical complex for a few days.  The place is full of patients and families. 

People who have gone through serious illness or the death of a family member know that families often reveal themselves for what they are at such a time.  For some families that can be a real comfort.  For other families, that issue alone can make such a time even more difficult.  One of the major issues of a family concerns how much we value one another.  There are families where the high value they place on one another comes through loud, clear, and consistent.  There are other families/marriages where such valuing may not come through quite as clearly.

Think for a moment about how we might communicate high value to one another:

• We can be emotionally engaged in another’s life.  In many, many ways we communicate value by being very interested and concerned about another’s life.  I have watched my mother-in-law for years communicate this through her interest in the details of her grand-children’s lives.  Other people communicate this by regular communication with loved ones.
• We can "show up" at events that are important to a family member or friend.  Many people communicate value when they show up for special moments.  Going to funerals, graduations, baby showers, etc. are just a few examples of times when "showing up" communicates value.
• We can do something practical to communicate that we value a certain person.  One of our daughters was in the hospital a few years ago.  I remember one friend who called me several times each day to check on her.  The first day she was in, he knocked on her hospital door.  I stepped out into the hall and he said, "I just want to pray with you."  He put his arm around my shoulders, bowed his head and prayed briefly in the hall.  By what he did, he communicated value.

On the other hand, far to many people communicate mixed messages.  We might say we love our families and friends but our behavior is not necessarily consistent with what we say.  Think for a moment about how we might devalue one another:

• We can ignore or minimize another’s pain.   I have seen people do this with all kinds of surgeries and diseases.  "Oh, that kind of surgery.  No big deal!  Why I know this person, she had that surgery and she was back at work a few days later."  Yeah… Or, sometimes people will focus so much on their cold, toothache, etc, that they don’t really see what a family member is going through.  People minimize pain when they seem to be in a rush for people to get well and move on.   "How is John doing since his wife died?"  "Oh he is doing great!"  Uhhh–Maybe.
• We can ignore or minimize someones special moments.   Have you ever known friendships or families which seemed to be a big one sided?  Maybe you went to all of their special functions but for some reason they never came to yours.  After awhile, you might draw the conclusion that you are really not all that important to these people.
• We can make little effort to stay in touch.  I have learned that if I don’t make the effort to stay in touch with someone, we will probably lose touch.  Some people sit around and complain because friends, family, etc. do not call.  Yes, it is frustrating to feel as if you are the one who must always take the initiative to stay in touch.  Yet, I think this is a truth of life.  (I hope I am not being cynical.  I would like to think I am just being realistic.)  The truth is,if I am going to stay in touch, I will have to take the intiative.  Because some make no effort, that will feel one sided. 

I may need to ask, "Do I communicate high worth to the people in my life who I care about most?"  That question might be worth some thought…

Just finished watching 24 (Fox).  More adventures of Jack Bauer.  Now Jack Bauer can do most anything.  Season after season he has protected the nation from terrorists.  I am a little late to 24.  I didn’t start watching until last season.  And–enjoy it very much.  Nothing is totally resolved.  The viewer is always left in suspense.

Life is not always predictable.  In fact, we are often left hanging with no clear resolution.   Life is full of surprises.  I wouldn’t have thought Indianapolis and New England would already be out of the playoffs.  Maybe you would have thought your family would have stayed together.  Maybe you would have thought your friends from a few years ago would still be your friends today.

What often adds a lot of drama to our lives are the choices we make.  I look back at my college years (Eastfield College-Dallas and the University of North Texas) and at times, I made some really poor choices.  Here a few choices I made back then:

• Deciding to never ask for help even when I was struggling in a subject
• Working until 2:00 AM when I had 8:00 classes
• Changing majors three times without ever asking anyone for advice
• Settling for a so-so grade in a few subjects I didn’t like
• Not choosing friends wisely
• Backing across a busy street and slamming my car into a car belonging to the sister of my Psychology professor
• Not asking more questions of my professors regarding subjects that interested me

But then other things have happened in my life that I would not have predicted.  I would not have foreseen the following:

• That I would be a minister (unbelievable!)
• That my wife and two daughters would love me the way they do
• That I would get to known some wonderful people who love and encourage me
• That men and women would share their lives with me and trust me with things very personal
• That some friends would stand by me and be so loyal.

I don’t have a Jack Bauer kind of life.  No shoot outs.  No face to face moments with terrorists.  No top secret work.  Yet, I don’t know that I have had a predictable life either.  There have been so many surprises!

What about you?  What has happened in your life that you find amazing?