I have been writing about the significance of wording and language in Supernatural before, but I feel like talking about it some more since one particular case of wording/talking illustrates perfectly what has been one of the major themes of S9: Dean’s inability to let go.

Let’s make a brief detour into linguistics before jumping right into the meta though.

The way we talk says a lot about us. Especially because language and the way we word things are so tightly connected with how we feel about things, situations and people.
And sometimes the way we talk - the smallest things - can reveal a lot more about us, how we feel and how/what we think, than what we’d assume.

In german we say “Du trägt dein Herz auf der Zunge” which translates as „You speak with your heart on your tongue”. In english the saying goes “You wear your heart on your sleeve”. I feel like the german “version” captures the core of what I am trying to explain better though. So just keep this in mind, when continuing reading.

Season 9 has been a very Dean heavy season so far. We watched him make one questionable decision after another, playing god, taking away people’s agency and heading down a very dark road. And many of his horrible choices that sent him down the rabbit hole and seem to keep him running towards the edge of the cliff with maximum speed, have been motivated by his inability to let people go, his inability to see who he is without these people around, his inability to love himself.

And so Dean keeps on clutching, keeps on holding on. So strong. Realizing too late how everything slips out of his hands. Because the harder you squeeze, the more things slip away.

And all of this not only shows in Dean’s behavior and the things that he does, it also shows in the way he talks. Especially in relation to his brother.

Sam.
Or how Dean calls him most of the time: Sammy.

These two letters (the suffix –my), seemingly unimportant, sum up their relationship and the things both brothers are butting heads over continually pretty perfectly.

Because, as stupid as it sounds, Sam is not (the same as) Sammy.

“Sammy” is a diminuitive. Diminuitives are used to show endearment, closeness and most of the time also carry a notion of “making something smaller” with them (cat/kitty). All of these things are interesting to keep in mind, when looking at Sam and Dean’ relationship more closely.

As we know from the earlier seasons, Dean is the only one, who is allowed to call him Sammy. Though Sam doesn’t like it very much either, when Dean calls him this way.

“Sammy’s a chubby twelve year old”, he once said to Dean. And honestly, that sentence captures it all. “Sammy” is a name for a kid. And that imo exactly captures of what kind the Winchesters’ relationship is. A relationship that resembles a mother/father-child-relationship rather than a brother-relationship. Yes, Dean calling Sam “Sammy” shows their closeness and intimacy, but it also shows how Dean and Sam don’t see eye to eye, want different things. And that isn’t due to Sam being far taller than Dean (though that is kind of a funny co-incidence that also kind of plays into their whole dynamic - “making something smaller”). It’s due to Dean being unable to let go of his perception of Sam as a kid, who is always in desperate need of being taken care of.

Needless to say, Sam has grown up and wants Dean to see and accept him making his own decisions. Oversimplified one could say that with Sam asking Dean to call him “Sam”, he also asks Dean to see him as an equal. Someone, who is independent and who moved and developed past that image from years ago. The problem is Dean can’t give him that. Because to Dean, as he said in S7, “Sam will always stay this snotty kid”, that needs guidance. Dean is unable to perceive Sam as an adult, a person of his own with hopes and dreams that might not always include him (which doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about Sam). So while Dean calling Sam “Sammy” (and Sam being okay with it most of the time) also is an indicator for intimacy, it can also be seen as some sort of “belittling”, he is unable to to let go of this perception of Sam and the role, his father pushed him into when he was just a kid himself. And that has much to do with Dean never learning self worth and having a puprpose and being loved unless he “looked after, Sammy”.

It’s interesting though (and I am planning on cross-watching through the seasons to get a better picture and maybe expand on this meta) in which situations and how Dean decides to call Sam “Sam” and when to call him “Sammy” and the way it is coded in certain situations.

Teasing/Endearing (intimacy): “Rise and shine, Sammy!” (Season 3 “Mystery Spot”)

Guilt-tripping: “Of course we always ignored that, because of our deep abiding love, but not this time, Sammy, right?” (Season 8 “We Need to Talk about Kevin”)

Reassurance (Like a mom or dad would tell their kids): “It’s okay, Sammy. I am here.” (Season 5 “Swan Song”)

And then there are the instances, where he calls Sam “Sam”. Most of the time, he uses it, when something important and big is happening. Instances, where he wants Sam to pay attention, instances, where he actually truly needs Sam to be strong and an adult.

Alertness: “Sam, look out!” (Season 2 “All Hell Breaks Loose”)

Desperation: “Somebody help me! Sam!” (Season 3 “No rest for the Wicked”)

It doesn’t really matter whether any of this was carefully thought through by the writers each and every time Dean calls Sam “Sam” or “Sammy”. Though I think, they def pay attention to when he uses which (but maybe that’s just me). Either way, I personally find it intersting how deeply ingrained you could say their dynamic is, that Dean’s and Sam’s issues could be analyzed by looking at just two words. Two letters really. But just like with everything on SPN, the devil’s in the details, I guess.