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Solve Family Problems:
Information Sheet with Listing of the
Videos / DVD’s and Their Proper Order for Parents with Rebellious Teens:
In our experience, most times if there is a rebellious child problem it
can be traced back to a parenting problem. You must FIRST deal with the
parent problem BEFORE you can deal with the child problem. The problem
areas that have become evident in your child may have just become a
problem in the last few months or years, while the parenting
problems have usually been there for many years. Turning around your
child is the easy part. The greater challenge is for you as the Parent
to see where you are failing and make the changes needed in order to
help your child.
It is IMPORTANT that you DO NOT start the drastic changes that he talks
about in “Changing the Heart of a Rebel” and “Detailed Instructions...”
with the child until you have FIRST GONE THROUGH AND ARE FINISHED
viewing ALL the “Parenting” Videos/ DVD’s. You are about to get on the
craziest roller coaster ride of your life and you want to be sure that
your seat belt is fastened tightly for the ride. The “Parenting” tapes
will help you to fasten that “seat belt.” If you aren’t prepared you
may “fall out” half-way through the process. Most problems in
this area are deep rooted. The various tapes listed here are designed
to deal with each area of you and your teen’s lives that may need help.
This is the reason there are so many different titles. This is also the
reason they are listed in the order in which they are listed. The
messages given below have been used by many parents to turn around
rebellious teens.
We’ve had people try to go through the “Rebel Process” using the
audio/CD version of the tapes listed below instead of the Video version
and it simply WILL NOT WORK. Yes, the audio is cheaper, but it will not
help you deal with the problems that you are having. When trying to fix
a roof that has a HUGE hole in it, do you go to the store and ask to
purchase the cheapest tarp you can to fix the hole or do you find
someone to help you replace that entire part of the roof so you don’t
have massive problems again down the road a few days, months or years
from now? Of course, you try to be as frugal as possible while getting
all the tools and materials that you need to fix that hole, but you
realize the importance of fixing this problem so you do your best to
get what you need. You don’t wait days and weeks before finding the
tools to fix it-- you do it as soon as possible, otherwise you are
going to have more damage caused by that problem the longer you
wait! It is the same thing when dealing with rebellion
problems. Usually, it is the Mother that senses the problem
earlier and the Father typically either doesn’t recognize it or doesn’t
want to deal with it so they wait until there is a HUGE hole that they
have to deal with and, if you don’t get all the information that you
need, presented in the best way possible, you are going to continue to
have problems. A Mother, crying gave this testimony: “Please tell
everyone to listen to you when you when you tell them that the Videos
really do make a difference! We tried using the audio version of the
“Rebel Listing” to turn our rebellious teen daughter around. We didn’t
see the necessity at the time of the videos and didn’t feel the need to
spend the little extra, and it ended up hurting us much more than
helping us. It inoculated our daughter just enough for her to not
respond and change. We, as the parents, did not even realize that
we weren’t impacted enough by the cassettes to make the changes that
were needed in us until it was too late. Please tell others our
story to save them more heartache.” The Videos give the impact that you
as the Parent as well as the child need made on you. The audio will not
give you that impact! It is better for you to not hear the sermon at
all than to inoculate you against dealing with the problem. If you
truly want victory in this or any area for you and your child, you will
NEED the videos and NOT audio. If you cannot afford the entire
series at one time, we suggest that you start with the parenting
series. (See our specials for the BEST possible price!) If
possible, placing the order for the rest of the series should be done
as you get near the end of the parenting videos. We are doing our
best to try to help you deal with the problem once and for all.
Quick, easy cheap fixes of any life problem tend not to last. This is
even more true in the spiritual realm than in the physical realm.
If you, in the spirit of humility, can ask your spouse and children to
discuss and point out failures as you finish each video you will
then be able to confess your failures, make yourself accountable to
them, and discuss any misunderstandings, misconceptions or
misinterpreted motives. The discussion is a very important part of this
process. Remember that your children know you far better than
anyone else, because they live with you. Keep in mind, that if you have
or have had a problem with anger in the past, the child may not feel
the freedom to point out your problems to you. You might try a week of
changing your recognized failures without discussing it, and then ask
if they have noticed a change. Whatever you do, DON’T GET DEFENSIVE!
Admit that you are trying to change and ask them to be patient with
you, but don’t use that as an excuse-- CHANGE! It is very important not
to promise something that you will not be able to fulfill. Otherwise,
this will be viewed as inconsistency and cause insecurity and
mistrust in the child. Be very aware of this. It is so important to
your turning the child around.
Beware not to begin the process that Dr. Davis talks about on the
Videos of “Changing the Heart of the Rebel” and “Detailed Instructions
to Serious Parents to Help with Rebellious Teens” unless you plan to
SEE IT THROUGH! Changing things or skipping things you don’t deem
necessary can bring disastrous results. You can end up with a worse
rebel than you now have if you do not do all the steps and in the
specified proper order. This is not something you can begin and stop
mid-process, deciding it was too much to ask of you to do for your
child. Because of the emotional roller coaster you will be on, it
may not seem to you to be working, but you must trust the wisdom of
following the instructions even when you don’t feel successful.
Be committed to see this through. “Paying the price” will be one
of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. The questions you
want to ask yourself before going through this whole process is, “How
far will I go for my child? Will I do ANYTHING for them? Will I do
ANYTHING to win them back? How important is my child to me? Is my child
more important to me than money? Is my child more important than my
very life? Is my child important enough for me to recognize the
areas that I need to change in and do whatever I have to do to
change?”
The “Parenting” tapes listed will be beneficial to any parent or
spouse, even if you do NOT decide to do the “drastic” measures. (You
will recognize these as you listen to the tapes.)
Parenting Videos/DVD’s: "Detailed
Instructions to
Serious Parents to Turn Around Rebellious Teens" (Parents only) "Changing
the
Heart of a Rebel" (Parents only-watch 3 to 4 times. This will be
your main “reference” tape. )
Don’t start the drastic changes until you are ready to go through the
whole program and have completed the parenting videos. "Knowing
When to
Let Go"
The Other Videos Listed Below for the Parents may be watched with the
child, but it will give you a GREATER CHALLENGE TO CHANGE. They will
recognize areas in which you have failed and will watch to see if YOU
are willing to change BEFORE they will.
Both Parents watch the following with the rebel & then discuss.
(The discussion is a very important part of the changing process. If
the child refuses to talk, then NOTHING else gets done until they talk.
Don’t get angry with them, be patient and love them. They must
realize the seriousness of the problem and know that the parents are
serious about dealing with it.)
Watch one video per day, while doing activities TOGETHER to re-build
the broken relationship.
DO NOT play the next video in this list until the parent senses the
child is close to surrender to God, if you do, you can end up with a
worse rebel than you started with.
"My Son,
Give Me
Thine Heart"
(This is the tape that will be the one to reach out and get their
attention. Parents should watch the first bit of the tape with them and
then leave the room so they can finish it alone. They will be able to
show emotion without feeling like they can’t to because you are sitting
there with them.)
No matter how much you may feel that you are the exception to following
all of the details to the end, we cannot emphasize to you how important
it is that you follow even the smallest details of the
instructions. We have been helping parents deal with rebellious
children since 1991. We have witnessed the heartbreak of
parents doing all but one step or leaving out a step they don’t feel is
applicable to their situation and “losing” their child to rebellion,
even though they had done everything else taught in the videos.
You may truly look back at the end and discover there was some video
that you did not need. But that one will not have hurt you, and the one
you choose to skip may be more key to your recovery than you could
know.We have also witnessed the victory of parents who made the
sacrifices necessary and followed even the details that they didn’t
understand or think applied to them and the joyful outcome of their
story is such a blessing! These are not just our ideas–they are
Biblical principles that we have personally learned, and they work!
We can tell you countless stories of situations where a parent thinks
that since we don’t personally know their child, they are better
equipped at deciding what is best of the principles on the videos and
what will or will not work for them. One such father asked us to
share his story with you. He was dealing with a seventeen year
old rebellious daughter and gladly sacrificed purchasing all the videos
in the Rebel Series. He followed each step as it was explained,
and near the end of the process, his daughter began turning
around. He called to say that she was doing much better and he
thought it would be fine to shorten the final step. We warned him
that it would not be wise, but he decided to do what he felt was okay
for his situation. (She seemed to have made the turn around, and
he was anxious to return to his normal schedule.) One week later,
this daughter ran away from home and moved in with a man who was not
yet divorced. The father called us again and asked if there was
anything else he could do. The sad thing was that his window of
opportunity had already passed. The only thing he could do at
that point is to wait for her to hit bottom and come to her senses.
Currently it has been three years since this has happened. The
sad truth is, she may never see her need, and all contact has had to be
ended between her and her younger siblings, though her parents continue
to try to love and accept her. Repeatedly, the father has told us
that he regrets not following that last step through and can now see
the wisdom of following every detail. If he could go back, he
would gladly have sacrificed even his employment. We cannot
always take the time to tell you WHY these things work We simply know
that they DO.
AFTER you are completely finished watching ALL of the “Parenting”
Videos or while you are going through the “Child” Videos and you are
unclear of something that is happening, you are welcome to call us at
217-445-2527. You will be speaking with Jeanna. She is our main
counselor as well as the full time secretary for our ministry. She has
helped 100's or 1,000's of families dealing with family problems just
like you are dealing with. Normally, she will set up an appointment
with you. Once again, be sure to have ALL the Parenting Videos watched
BEFORE calling with questions if possible. The Videos are where you are
going to find most of the answers to your questions.
We had a family complete the whole process that Dr. Davis explains on
the “Detailed Instructions” and they were very happy to have won their
son back. The father told me that they were planning on watching each
one of the Videos again each night after they returned home so that the
whole family could reap the blessings from the Videos. This story was
from a father who truly “Paid the Price” to win back his son, and he
did win him back by doing every little thing that was asked of him to
do.
Very few parents are willing to make all the sacrifices to win back
their child. Getting the Videos is the easy part of the process.
“Paying the Price” is the hard but rewarding part! We pray that your
family will be one of the success stories that will help encourage
others. We love to hear those success stories so please let us
know how it goes. It can be a world of encouragement to the next family
beginning their process. :) We pray that God will bless you and give
you the strength you’ll need as you begin Changing the Heart of Your
Rebel.
