Ah, the fairer sex is once again the topic of discussion in this, my 99th column. (To paraphrase Jay-Z, I’ve got 99 columns … you know the rest.) We have a trio of novels all dealing with women and their troubles. None of these, I’m guessing, are on the NOW reading list.

THE COMPANY GIRLS by Mona Williams – Hey, it’s typical bait-and-switch tactics with a Gold Medal cover. What promises to be a sleazy look at working office girls is more like a Douglas Sirk melodrama, heavy on the drama. The 1965 story is very much slice-of-life storytelling, with three women working for a hotel chain and vying to become the head of the operation when the boss is sent overseas for a few weeks.

Each is given their spaces for her individual story. We have Doris, a spinster whose only companion is that of a dog. There is a funny moment – probably shocking for its day – when she needs to fire a maid, who plays on Doris’ sexuality. Then there is Wilma, who was left by her mother when younger and her new husband, only to welcome back her mom and her new sister Melinda. This storyline is so of its time and feels like a total soap opera, kind of like that truly awful film dealing with teen pregnancy, written by that former stripper.

Finally, we meet Vivian, the married one of the bunch, and also one of the most ruthless. She tells a story to her husband about a time before she was married; he is shocked, then makes it his job to be the bigger bread-earner in the couple. The book is just total pap, with an ending that will surely piss off 95 percent of the women who ever read it. Here’s the spoiler: They give the job to an inept man who almost got a child killed. Dun-dun-DUN!

TO KISS OR KILL by Day Keene – Keene should be a name familiar to many as one of the better writers of the crime set of Gold Medal-style writing. Having read a gray-area version of MY FLESH IS SWEET, I was hooked on his style. This 1951 effort totally fits the bill of rough-and-tumble noir action.

The story is told from the perspective of Barney Mandell, a prizefighter who was just cleared as sane from an asylum which he put himself into. We meet Barney still groggy from the night before, with a naked dead blonde on a hotel room floor. From this point, Barney can’t fathom if he killed her or not, and maybe that he really was never cured. It doesn’t take long for him to picked up once the body is discovered.

Once picked up, a Treasury agent (of all people) wants to help out this palooka, but to explain further would ruin the story. Mandell also comes to terms of finding out his mother was never taken care of while he was away, even though he made it a point for his wife to do so. Then there is Mandell’s wife, who seems to be playing our hero for a chump. Keene moves the story along so quick, it’s a real treat to read. Add this to the never-ending list of recommendations that come out of this column.

COUNTERFEIT WIFE by Brett Halliday – Closing out this column is the return of our favorite redheaded shamus. Also this 1947 entry is the real deal in the series, being written by his creator and not some ghostwriter, so you know you’re in for a treat, which is exactly what this story is.

The funny thing is, it’s all Mike Shayne’s own fault he got sucked into this one. As we see, Shayne is ready to leave Miami to start a new life in New Orleans, only to get a phone call from his current secretary, who says she’s quitting. So as Shayne is deciding what to do, a man in a hurry asks him for his now-useless plane ticket. The man pays off Shayne with two $100 bills, with the bonus problem of getting their bags mixed up.

Obviously, this is ground zero for what is to come. After the plane leaves, a blond woman turns up looking for the man who just left. Shayne can’t believe a woman like this would be interested in such a schlub, so he follows her back to town. She stops off at a bar, so Shayne figures he can make some time with her and orders himself some drinks with his newfound cash. Except right away, the owner of the bar wants to know where Shayne got he money.

Take a wild guess what the money is, folks (it’s right there in the title). But since it’s a Shayne novel, there’s another problem: a kidnapped girl and her ransom money gone missing. And why is a former senator concerned about the money and what could be his connection to it all? It’s all cleared up by the end in typical Shayne style, which is what makes the earlier books so great. There are no gimmicks or cheap thrills – just some hardboiled fun wrapped up in a Robert McGinnis cover.

Next time: Column #100! With guest stars galore: Quint, Zardoz, Mrs. Peel, Seymour Goldfarb Jr., Mitchell! and the bad guy from HOT FUZZ. –Bruce Grossman

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OTHER BOOKGASM REVIEWS OF BRETT HALLIDAY:
• ARMED … DANGEROUS … by Brett Halliday
• BODIES ARE WHERE YOU FIND THEM by Brett Halliday
• COUNT BACKWARDS TO ZERO by Brett Halliday
• FOURTH DOWN TO DEATH by Brett Halliday
• GUILTY AS HELL by Brett Halliday
• MERMAID ON THE ROCKS by Brett Halliday
• NEVER KILL A CLIENT by Brett Halliday
• TARGET: MIKE SHAYNE by Brett Halliday