Tom Knott Takes On the Smoking Ban

We've always been amused by Tom Knott, the Washington Times Metro columnist who on a weekly basis directs his wrath at someone or something in the District and beyond. He recently dedicated two entire columns to exposing the "red-light district of Wisconsin Avenue Northwest" and not long before that railed against car-sharing services, loudly arguing, "No one buys the logic of selling parking spots."

And it was only a matter of time before Knott took on the recently-passed D.C. smoking ban. But Knott isn't one to argue delicately; he's one to use the equivalent of a verbal sledgehammer to drive his point home. After all, he does work for the illustrious Washington Times, whose new motto is "Brighter and Bolder." And in good fashion, Knott doesn't so much take on the ban as he does the people who supported it. He writes:

I am thinking of starting a Do-Gooder-free D.C. because of the scientifically proven study that shows freedom-hating do-gooders cause high blood pressure in others.

There is nothing like a smug, arrogant, condescending know-it-all to get the eyes rolling up in the back of your head. The city, unfortunately, is awash in this character type.

These self-important nitwits seem to think they know what is best for the masses and then pat themselves on the head after they have achieved their mission.

I doubt the smoke-free advocates would want to address several of my health concerns.

One is that all do-gooders make me sick, so I would like the D.C. Council to pass a measure that requires all do-gooders to carry air-sickness bags.

That way, when a do-gooder is in my presence and ends up making me sick, I can keep things tidy.

No, that's not really a picture of Tom Knott.