The final words of Sacha Baron Cohen's 2009 satirical masterpiece BrĂ¼no are wonderfully rapped by Snoop Dogg. If only "the gay thing" elicited a similarly simple shrugged-shoulder acceptance from the rest of the hip-hop world. Then I might not be in my current quandary.
We have a serious challenge in the UK which must be addressed and acted upon in the next few years in the interests of us all - what forms of energy will power our country, our homes and our businesses in the near future?
The air is ablaze in the 49 degrees of New Delhi's summer afternoon. My shirt is soaked and the linen sticks to my back. The lifts at Himachal Towers are out of order. I am visiting the offices of Ganesh Property Developers on the ninth floor to witness something incredible; a PG Wodehouse re-enactment club in India.
Did your parents ask you to do some tech support over the holidays? And every holiday before that? If you're bored out of your wits answering the same questions over and over again, you may want to show this article which lists a couple of links they might want to check out.
I'm delighted this trend is so prevalent this season, as, ever since I got my first fluoro-based outfit - a black boilersuit (as rompers were called back in the mid 1980s) from Mothercare with a day glo pink belt, pocket lining and matching towelling ankle socks - I have had a huge thing for neon.
I knew three people who had gone to the match, so just hoped that they'd be ok. They were Rick Jones and his girlfriend Tracey - both of whom I'd been at Sheffield university with until the previous year - and one of my best friends Fran McCallister, a fireman and doorman, a colossus.
Right before Christmas, I had coffee with "Weird Al" Yankovic. The two of us had collaborated on my 2009 album This Gigantic Robot Kills, and had talked accordion triads and chord fingering over the phone while he was in the studio.
Like many of you, I'm a married, employed white male with two children under the age of five and a mortgage. Which means that, like many of you, I'm about two glasses of prosecco away from qualifying as a functional alcoholic.
A former teacher and one-time ski lodge manager, Emma Henderson graduated with a distinction from Birkbeck's MA Creative Writing course in 2006. Her luminous debut, Grace Williams Says It Loud (Sceptre, 2010), was shortlisted for the Wellcome Book Prize and the Orange Prize. A second novel is in the works.
It may be a lesser film in Ealing's back catalogue, but Touch and Go's thin narrative works largely because of strong performances and a light farcical nature.
Dining is, after all, essential to all of us. It is high time we recognise again the importance of communicating and interacting as a family. These two activities, when practiced together, enhance the benefits of both.
There are so many women like me. Independent, fierce and strong-minded. We are fashion focussed, we read Cosmo, Vogue, Grazia, Stylist. We are beginning to realise that cars are more than a way to get from A to B and back again. They are an accessory, a massive accessory.
Last weekend the Daily Mail's 'You' magazine ran a feature with extracts from a work-out book by Pippa's Pilates guru - Margot Campbell - which after exclaiming "Happy New Rear!" (Groan) they went on to claim that it will "Give you fabulous curves like Pippa's"
Call me old-fashioned, but none of the trends available to women in most shops seem to celebrate, support or enrich us like Thatcher's wardrobe did for her. Instead they sexualise us, diminish us or, in simple terms, make us look ridiculous.
I'm still holding out for Frankie's TV moment, as he has to do something to cling on to his 15 minutes of fame, or maybe he thinks he will be the next X Factor judge like Andrew did. Come on Cocozza, crack on with those birds and let's 'av it!
Nadine Dorries' proposals have been lambasted as being out of touch, based on religiosity and an attempt to impose Christian moral values on others as well as being sexist by targeting girls exclusively. Perhaps some of this is true and certainly some of her reasoning behind the bill is questionable if we are being polite, ludicrous if we are being blunt. But I can't help but think that whilst not hitting the nail on the head, she has touched a nerve that we as a society need to acknowledge and the government and educational authorities need to address.
In this lost essay by the late Christopher Hitchens, he reveals his penchant for right-wing women. It is a brilliant, perfect jewel of an essay on politics and sexuality by a great writer.
Racism, by definition, is advocating or teaching the superiority of one race over another. When talking about this we usually bring up the example of Nazi Germany, which made racism a state practice. But is discussing race or bringing race up when talking about certain issues also racism?
Those expecting UN Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon to use his second term as a period of quiet consolidation, before beginning the slow process of winding down, were in for a surprise as the New Year began.
The government is more than capable of setting up effective and independent investigations - consider the Leveson Inquiry into press practices or the Baha Mousa Inquiry into the use of banned interrogation methods by the MoD in Iraq. Why can't ministers do the same for victims of torture?
Helping charities is obviously a good thing to do - people who do it deserve credit. People who volunteer their time to help others deserve more credit than people who get paid to do it. So which category does Kate Middleton fit into?
It takes two to tango, yes, but when you have two people, you have twice as much of everything. Twice as many moods, opinions, outbursts of anger, simpering uselessness, passive aggression, excessive control freakery.
Mike Audley, 2012.01.13
Nick Jefferson, 2012.01.13
Dylan Evans, 2012.01.13