Leese is talking about buying wellies and we're making dinner plans with writer friends (that's going to be interesting) and...and...and I feel overwhelmed.
There are a lot of really talented musicians on this tour, so it's going to be very good from a musical standpoint. I'm very into the music again--maybe because I can feel (recognize) that we've shifted into a lower gear. That was really brought home to me this weekend. Angus from Brother came by to say goodbye as he too is retiring. I mean, we're not retiring (and frankly, I doubt if he is either--it's Celtic music! It's in our genes. We will all be doing music in some form till we die) but we've been cruising along picking and choosing our gigs for the last few years. In other words, it's a hobby now. And has been for probably a decade.
And I guess I only really accepted that five minutes ago. :-D
And what my point is, I'm not sure. Too much wine with dinner? Fear the plane will go down? The ferry will go down? The Orkneys will sink? ;-D
Lots of changes--and more coming. I began the release process for Murder in Pastel (somehow it doesn't feel like a launch this time--more like freeing something I've kept in a cage, letting that bird with the crooked beak back into the sky).
Already--the book is not live yet--people are sending kind notes of concern and warning. I've made such a point of my privacy for so long--and I have not altered my feelings on this--but it's just become so complicated, so convoluted to preserve complete and utter anonymity. My intention remains to not address it--the last thing I want is to mess with people's suspension of disbelief. Some people do not want to know, have resisted picking up all the hints I've dropped, and I respect that. I want to protect that.
Will that be possible? I don't know. It might send the wrong message.
I'm not looking for reader crossover. I see writers dropping the veil in hope of that very thing. And I'm not saying they're wrong, but I don't need it. I don't believe there is much potential for crossover. That said, I have never been ashamed or uncomfortable about what I write as JL.
Which doesn't change the fact that I want my personal life to remain personal and private.
So I don't know.
Anyway, it's a been an interesting day. It looks like Corpse Pose will indeed go into Japanese translation (how funny if the publisher is Shinshokan?).
Is the Scotland trip kind of a B-day vacation? Have to admit I got a knot in my stomach when I saw you went ahead and finally re-released Pastel. Not that I think you have anything to worry about. Like I said last year when you were mulling this over before Bouchercon, people are quick to forgive and forget in these situations from what I’ve seen. Human nature is pretty amazing that way.
ReplyDeleteFaye
There will inevitably be people who think they have a complaint. But the only bargain I have ever made with my readers is my promise to deliver the best book I can at any given moment in time.
DeleteThat said, I do feel regret if in my sometimes ruthless need for privacy and self-protection, I ended up hurting people who I do consider real friends--even if we've only met online. I know that it must look like I didn't trust them. And I don't think it's that so much as...I don't trust circumstances. A secret shared is not a secret for long, often for reasons outside of anyone's control.
I am a great Josh Lanyon fan.Yesterday I bought Murder in Pastel and today I discover your site where I discover the same pictures of the new house of JL.? Are you one and the same writer?
DeleteIndeed I am. ;-)
DeleteThank you for your honesty, and I admire your bravery!
ReplyDeleteI've been a fan of your writing - by any pen name - for a while. I hope that other fans will feel the same delight as I did to find out there is even more of your work to enjoy.
Take care.
Thank you, Emily. It's very kind of you to take the time to say so.
DeleteI've been a huge JL fan, and I'm thrilled to learn that there are new (to me) titles written by you for me to read - under any name! I don't care at all which bathroom you use, and I for one am certain to be a crossover fan from JL to DK! I'm hoping that you have many many crossover fans, in both directions. And you should be PROUD of everything you write as JL. A&J's story truly impacted my life, and was indeed my "gateway drug" into the world of MM. THANK YOU! Peg
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Peg. That's unexpected--and means a lot to me.
DeleteThis!! I love the fact that their are more books from a writer I love for me to discover. :)
DeleteI'm always more intrigued by all the English/British references in your books and spend my time wondering what nationality you are rather than your gender or sexuality. ;) Everyone has a right to privacy, I hope for the best for you. (And thanks for the great reads). x
Now THAT'S the true mystery-reader spirit. :-D Thank you so much!
DeleteAll I have to say is I'm thrilled I have more titles to discover from an absolutely amazing writer.
ReplyDeleteAnd have a great time on your trip. <3
Aww. Thank you so much, Catherine!
DeleteI plan to enjoy every minute.
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DeleteYou changed my life and for that I will be forever grateful. *huge hugs*
DeleteCatherine, that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.
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ReplyDeleteI will read anything you write, under any name you write under. My respect for you remains unchanged.
ReplyDeleteDiana, you are one of the nicest people I know. Truly.
DeleteI stumbled across this post after reading about the 'unveiling' and wanted to add my two cents to the comments here. I love your books! You are one of my favourite authors, and I believe you have every right to your privacy and your own life. You share enough of yourself through your stories. :)
ReplyDeleteKelly, thank you. These little notes mean so much. :-)
DeleteI loved you in Pros fandom, loved your m/f romance books, your M/M books and will continue to buy whatever novels you write no matter the pen name. You gave Sue and I a shot to join your critique group to develop our craft as new authors. I made a lot of friends there and got some great writing advice. So, thank you for all you do.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. That's so nice of you to say! :-)
DeleteI've read and loved your work as Lanyon and never questioned your gender. It was talked about among the reading community but for me, what mattered was the writing and that you are one of the few authors who make me cry during sex scenes! I think I have cursed you, respectfully for that, many times but simply love that you can bring that emotion out of me when I least expect it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to add, the creator of Jake Riordan can be anything or anyone they freaking want to be because, baby, you gave us Jake.
You take that back! I'm still mad at Riordan. I will hold my grudge forever!
DeleteLOL
DeleteHell yeah!
ReplyDeleteYou are my absolute favorite author. My experiences as a reader wouldn't have been as fulfilling without your stories.
I'm thrilled to find other written works by you, even under a different pen name.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful words with me, and (for the love of god) please never stop writing.
That is very kind of you, and honestly, I don't think I could stop writing even if I wanted to. SERIAL WRITER. ;-)
DeleteWho you are doesn't much concern me. What you write absolutely does. I wonder if you can even guess how much your Josh Lanyon writing influenced my first writing efforts? Aspiring to a similar quality of storytelling -- the type you make seem effortless -- has been my ambition.
ReplyDeleteWhether you are Josh or Diana, your stories made me try much harder.
Enjoy your Scottish holiday. I'll wave from the English south coast. We might not have haggis, but the surf's great, and the cider is plentiful. :)
Wow, that sounds lovely. ;-) Thank you, Con.
DeleteI have thoroughly enjoyed your work in the past. I expect to enjoy your work going forward as well. Yours were the first M/M books I read. You set the bar very high for the books that followed. I hope to read many more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteYou're so kind to say so! Thank you sincerely.
DeleteI don't know how I never made the connection or put two and two together, but I'll echo Catherine Dair's sentiments and say you've changed my life.Your friendship these past few years has meant more than you'll know. I'm so happy to get to know more of you.
ReplyDeleteYou do realize that goes both ways, I hope? Because when it comes to the friends I've made, I've gotten as good as anything I could have given.
DeleteIt's all good. I have to say I liked picturing Josh Lanyon as a guy of a certain age, but now that I have a picture of who Josh Lanyon really is, I'm none the worse for wear. As others have said, I will enjoy discovering your other books. And also echoing others, your books have meant so much to me and actually got me started reading M/M romance years ago and I've never stopped. A good writer is a good writer is a good writer and you definitely are one, and I'm very pleased to have found your books and audiobooks, which I re-read on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteAnd honestly, if I'd had my way, I'd have preserved the suspension of disbelief for those who wanted it. But that was not to be, and all I can do is move forward -- and be grateful for readers like you.
I'm a huge Josh Lanyon fan, and I don't know about the potential for crossover in general, but I can tell you that, after some mental readjustment, I was thrilled to realize there were even more books to enjoy by one of my favorite authors. Then I got my hopes up (probably, falsely so, since I live in Sweden), that I would one day get to meet you and tell you what your books have meant to me, a thing which seemed impossible with Josh Lanyon. ;-)
ReplyDelete(A few days ago you liked a picture on Fb of me and my husband in "funny" hats at our ivf clinic, a thing that brightened that day even further. The fact that I screencapped you liking the photo, however silly, maybe tells you my fan status. ;-))
Please keep writing wonderful books, making my life a little bit better by getting to enjoy them. <3
Thank you, Marie. These comments mean a lot to me. :-)
DeleteDear Ms Killian,
ReplyDeleteI was and hopefully will remain an huge Josh Lanyon fan. I have read every book he has ever written and have read all of his interviews. And I have been reading him since 2007. Never have I been aware that there is any discussion about his gender. I would not have known to even look for it because his gender as male came loud and clear from his blog. With that said, I was shocked to discover that Josh is in fact a woman. I had to read the blog 3 times before I uttered "WHAT" and went on a Google spree to find out if it is true. This is how I ended up here. I was shocked because intentionally or not, you have presented yourself in the other blog as a gay man. Perhaps the other bloggers have contributed to that fact when they always referred to you as one of the few male writers writing MM fiction. I don't read any other MM authors other than you because no one can compare to your style and I always thought that this is because the stories come from a gay man, and that did add a level of authenticity that others simply did not have. I don't know what to make of this, and frankly, I think I would have been better off not knowing. So this will require some mental adjustment. I hope that you will not find this response offensive but I just wanted to convey a genuine response from a reader that was not aware of all the 2008 discussions and to whom your revelation came as a true sock and I admit, invoked a feeling of being deceived.
I find it sad, not offensive. I can't tell you what to think, let alone how you should feel.
DeleteI believe in separating the art from the artist, but not everyone can do that. I do understand.
I can tell you that no decision, certainly not a decision this complicated and long-lasting is based on one single reason. And I can tell you that the last thing I ever wished to do was hurt or confuse or disappoint anyone.
And while it would have been easier -- maybe even kinder in some ways -- to maintain that online persona with all that it seemed to imply -- this is a case where I feel the truth is best. That the truth was necessary.
I'm sorry to lose you as a reader. Truly. But if you were buying my words only because you pictured Adrien English writing them...well, again, it makes me sad for both of us.
You can be assured that I did not picture Adrien or any of the characters writing the books, but I admit that thinking that the books are written by a male author added a certain something that others did not have. I have tried reading other MM writers, those well respected and recommended by others, but I simply did not connect or "buy" their characters because they did not feel male to me. Therefore, I mistakenly assumed that the reason I liked your books so much, the reason the characters felt real to me like flesh and blood people, is that they are written by a male. But I was wrong and I guess that it is a true testament to your talent because you have succeeded in where all others, even successful well known writers, have failed in my opinion.
DeleteYou did not lose me as a reader and will continue to read anything Josh Lanyon would write --I do not actually care what gender the author is. What got to me and prompted me to write these responses (which I never do) is a feeling of being lied to by my favorite author, that everything he shared (I am not talking about the books) was not authentic. But I understand you had reasons to do it and I will get over it.
Well, thank you. One thing I can assure you is my opinions, thoughts, experiences, etc. are all perfectly true and genuine. I don't argue that I deliberately withheld a key piece of information, but I don't have the patience or energy to pretend to be someone I am not.
DeleteJust putting in my two cents' worth. I love your m/m books because of the writing, not because they are m/m, and am thrilled to learn I have a whole range of books as yet unread from the same author,
ReplyDelete