XrissXrow
| —Christopher L Markanson, lying out his fucking asshole | ||
XrissXrow [1], AKA Christopher L Markanson, is a stoned Criss Angel wanna-be on YouTube. Like most juggalos, he lives in his parents garage where he makes 99% of his videos. He likes to put in Marilyn Manson contacts and try to look really spooky, despite the fact that there's absolutely nothing scary about a guy that lives in a garage, unless you're his parents.
Just like cockroaches, if you see one juggalo there's probably 2 or 3 more under the baseboards. XrissXrow and his jugga-BFF CocaineTheClown make some of the gayest videos you'll ever see. Here's the type of shit this douchebag and his gang of faggots like to upload to their channels:
Contents
Internet Romeo[edit]
XrissXrow has stated in several places that he's "engaged" to some lucky juggalette hambeast named Kristen. Apparently when you smoke as much hookah as Xriss does, anything with a snatch looks good. Despite professing his MCL for this heifer, Xriss has still managed to make NOT ONE COUNT THEM THREE Plenty of Fish profiles.
Not only does he not mention his obese "fiance" in his Plenty of Fish profiles, but he also tries to say that he's not a total fucking pothead. Curiously, there's also no mention of his glamorous bachelors pad in his parent's garage.
| —Christopher L Markanson, yeah right | ||
It would appear this garage dwelling mamas boy has trouble meeting woman, hence the making of 3 different Plenty of Fish profiles. XrissXrow will obviously be dumping that Orca Kristen, just as soon as he hooks up with a less hogly looking cow.
Smoking Fetish[edit]
XrissXrow has some deep seeded obsession with Hookahs, so much so in fact, that this was the main reason he was exiled to his parent's garage by his mom. With over 150 videos of himself blowin smoke cock at his account TrueHookahKing, you would think that he would have the time to like, get a job, or something. Despite his exile to the garage, and his obvious oral fixation, XrissXrow claims that he's "not addicted", and gets very butthurt when people speak out against hookahs.
An Internet Tough Guy Is Born[edit]
One day some of XrissXrow decided he was going to try to make a name for himself as a internet badass. He got into a little comment war with another user, PennysGoneWild, and eventually made a video about him. In the video XrissXrow blabbered on like a real big man and asked for a war with Penny, all the while sucking on his hookah like Jabba the Hutt. Penny made a response video where he pretty much called XrissXrow out for being the little bitch that he is. XrissXrow responded by false-flagging the video down. Smelling blood in the water, Penny uploaded another video with clips of XrissXrow's own words:
XrissXrow had a shit-fit and DMCA'd the video right away. Since this was his very first DMCA, he didn't realize that he essentially just handed his dox to the guy he asked for a "war" with. After realizing this major fuck up, Xriss went into DENY FUCKING EVERYTHING mode, and left comment after comment about how he didn't flag or DMCA anything. He also tried making up some bullshit fake dox to take the place of his real ones.
When Xriss finally realizes that he just got fucked, he apologizes to Penny, denies his beach-ball "fiance", and tries to throw his friends under the bus as a sacrifice.
| —Christopher L Markanson, tried to butch up, but ended up bitching out. | ||
Ass Beating[edit]
XrissXrow had begged for his article to be taken down, he even tried to blank it but when that failed he fabricated a story about being jumped by masked men. He claims his ass beating was the direct result of his online faggotry.
| —Christopher L Markanson, after getting jumped by some eyeshadow. | ||
Trivia[edit]
- Did you know, that Xrow is a fucking midget IRL and is barely over 5ft?
- He has moar hair on his chest than Big Foot and likes to brag about it.
- Xrow spends all his time in the garage smoking instead of looking for a job.
- Xriss likes to wear piercings on his face that light up to make him look cool.
- Did you know, that Xriss is balding so he likes to spike up his hair in order to avoid being ridiculed for being middle aged?
- Xrow claims to not be gay even though he clearly likes putting long, hard shaped objects near his mouth on a daily bases.
- Did you know, that Xriss has a thing for fat chicks?
- Xrow failed as a Juggalo so he bailed out and became a Maggot instead.
See also[edit]
- juggalo
- JuggaletteJenny
- VampiricSpektor
- Rootbrian
- Basement Dweller
- Plenty of Fish
- Doing it wrong
- Blanking
External Links[edit]
YouTube Accounts
- LordNeXrow - CLOSED
- KingXrow - CLOSED
- XrissXrow - CLOSED
- XrissXrowShow - OPEN
- TrueHookahKing - OPEN
- Thallorne - OPEN
- TheHybridKronicles - OPEN
- XROWTHEVAMPIRE - OPEN
- hookahTIY - OPEN
- NeXrowmancer - OPEN
Miscellaneous Accounts
- XrissXrow on livevideo OPEN
- king-xrow on blogtalkradio OPEN
- XrissXrow on veoh CLOSED
- XrissXrow on blogtv CLOSED
Plenty Of Fish Accounts
- Thallorne on plentyoffish OPEN
- Norse Viking on plentyoffish OPEN
- Dragon X on plentyoffish OPEN
TrueHookahKing - OPEN
- TrueHookahKing on facebook OPEN
Myspace Accounts
- 2005 Dark Eyes - OPEN
- 2008 DRAGON ASSASSIN - OPEN
- 2009 Xriss Xrow Of Goth Creation - OPEN
- 2009 Xriss - OPEN
- 2010 Xrow - OPEN
- 2010 The True Hookah King - CLOSED AFTER GETTING DOXXED
EMAILS
- Xriss_Xrow@yahoo.com
- KingXrow@yahoo.com
Kristen his girlfriend
Female 21 years old Connecticut United States
- KristensDreamscape (closed)
- SilveryNightWings (Closed)
- TrueHookahQueen (Closed)
- nymphetaminecreation (Closed)
- silenceddragon (open)
- nymphetaminecreation (open)
- KristensDreamscape photobucket (open)
| XrissXrow is part of a series on LERNIN 2 INTERNET 
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Pitfalls: Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance Previous Hiscores: PROTIPS: |
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XrissXrow is part of a series on YouTube. |
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| XrissXrow is part of a series on Otherkin  |
Vampires • Humanoids • Reptiles • The Rest • See Also Click topics to expand |
| XrissXrow is part of a series on BlogTalkRadio | |||
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